I do a lot of things but I am not very good at any of them.
One million years ago I was born on Mt. Menopause to Zeus and a very confused sheep. Consequently, I am extremely deformed both physically and mentally. I am also immortal though the gods often mocked me for my grotesque appearance and would beat me savagely, until the day I was cast down from the heavens, unfit to live amongst the divine.
I fell into the barren wasteland known to you as Vermont and sought refuge from the spirit wolves in a filthy portable toilet, where I lived for many years until I was discovered by a deranged old woman and her legion of mangy housecats.
She brought me home, then promptly set herself on fire and jumped into oncoming traffic. I feared I might perish but luckily her cats taught me to hunt mice and groom myself with my tongue. Though I am now far away from my adoptive cat family, I will still occasionally use the litter box when at other people's homes.
When I felt I could fend for myself, I left in search of the American Dream, which I found, morbidly obese and dead of heart disease, in a Wal-Mart restroom. Filled with bitterness and righteous indignation, I swore never to go to Wal-Mart again. I have failed that promise and am now a regular customer, but sometimes I still feel bad about it, and when I do, I post on FaF.
Game console and game info to network with other Gamers
Keep the flowers
I'll just give 'em back
'Cuz the only way to my heart is
With an axe