Short Short Critique Requested- "Flight"

[Chex]

A piece of artwork on FurAffinity inspired this, but I admit to not saving the location. It's just a simple short short (less than 600 words) in which the world is dying thanks to humans, and the ancient dragons struggle with the end.

Any critique is wholly and completely welcome; I haven't written in a long while and I'm hoping to get back into it. This, for example, is for my college-level creative writing class.

In any case, here's the link for the short on FurAffinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7755859/

[Mxpklx]

It's pretty good. I can't tell if there was any symbolism in there but it seemed like it.

Consider revising though.

[Chex]

Thanks for the comment! However, I'm a little confused. If I may ask, what would you suggest I revise? Did I have spelling or grammatical errors? Does the story not flow well?

[M. LeRenard]

Well, seems to work fine. I like how you hint at a larger story with subtle little clues. "Even the reds", indicating some conflict between dragons, talking about ash-flecked sands giving a hint at what might have been the final straw, and so forth. I guess it's fine for a short piece. My only criticism would be that the message is pretty tired and therefore lacks punch. I see two ways to fix that. Number 1 would be to focus it more, make it more personalized somehow (perhaps tying it more deeply into this gold dragon's story? Don't know). Number 2 would be to obfuscate the message and allow more room for interpretation. Both are ways to personalize it to the reader, number 1 being vicariously and number 2 being directly, and in so doing it'll have a lot more punch. Things don't work as well when you just preach them.
It could be tough to pull off, though. I'm not getting too many ideas right away on how to do it. But hey... it's for a class, right? So ask your classmates or your prof, assuming that you think it's a good idea in the first place, of course.

[Chex]

Thank you very much for the comment. I really appreciate it.