Another thing you'll never hear:
-Any of the mane 6: "Mom and dad are going to be so upset over this!/What will mom and dad think!/Mom and dad are coming, everything must be perfect!".
Of course, they're all independent ladies probably around their 20's in human years, but how come their parents don't show up aside from (mostly) flashbacks... not to mention Rairty, who seems to have been living in that studio of hers since she was filly.
5 bucks Twilight's parents won't show up at the wedding, even if it'd make perfect sense for them to.
Another thing you'll never hear on the show-
Fluttershy, "Twilight I'm going to introduce you to my boyfriend, he's going to walk by and only you'll know who he really is"
Fluttershy's boyfriend, "Hello"
Rainbow Dash, "Hi dad"
EDIT: Just saw your edit. Yeah, that's beyond impossible for a thousand reasons.
Apple Bloom: "I want a cutie mark that's a device of torture."
Rainbow Dash: "Why should we listen to what Celestia has to say? For years, we've been exploited and treated as slaves. I say no more! REVOLUTION! REVO-*gun shots* AAAAAAAGH!!!"
Big Macintosh: "Sure, I'll help you AppleJack, but first you have to help me. See, there's this certain filly that's been getting a bit too nosy in the organization's affairs regarding Granny's 'disappearance'"...
AppleJack : "And jus' what are you getting at?"
Big Macintosh: "I was thinking, if you'd be able to distract her, maybe get some sedatives to keep her calm, while I get the ol' red chainsaw and surprise her..."
AppleJack : "But, she's your sister."
Big Macintosh: "Eeyup."
Originally Posted by ursiphiliac
"Silly Twilight! Everyone knows mexicans arent REAL people."
" If you wouldn't write it and sign it, Don't say it." -Earl Wilson
" Help others get ahead. You will always stand taller with someone else on your shoulders." - Bob Moawad
" Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together." -Woodrow Wilson
"UH OH, LOOKS LIKE HARD TIMES AHEAD FOR PACO!!" XD
How about this:
Pinkie Pie: Happy Hearts And Hooves Day, everypony! Here, instead of candy, have some morning-after pills and Astroglide! We're all gonna need 'em once Big Mac's in heat!
Apple Bloom: Hey guys, I finally got my cutie mark! It's a bottle of glue!
Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia, I learned today that life is a heartless oubliette of suffering, fear and cruelty after Fluttershy dumped me. *hangs self*
Rainbow Dash: Hi, I'm Rainbow Dash. And WELCOME TO JACKASS!!!
Twilight: Huh..."Equus. Written by Peter Shaffer." I've never heard of this book, but I bet it's a fantastic read!
Spike: I ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK IN A LIBRARY, TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!
(Excuse this language)
AppleJack: FUCK YOU I CANT EAT ALL THESE FUCKING APPLES *OM NOM NOM
Found a parody video of AppleJack eating a full barel of apples lol I don't watch MLP but it made m laugh haha
Think it was called "Apple.mov"
Twilight: "Dear Princess Celestia, today I realized that I can have a shit while I walk!"
"Dear Princess Celestia, I found that sometimes you can find love in the most unlikely of places.
Also you are cordially invited to the wedding of Rarity and Tom"
Spike: Come on Rarity, you know you want it.
Doctor Whooves: GET TO THE TARDIS!
Derpy: I might be special but I'm not fucking retarded you know.
Pinkie Pie: Screw the princess, let's party!
Rainbow Dash: A lesba-what now?
Rarity: That bitch is wearing my dress!
Twilight: Shut the fuck up Spike, I'm trying to study.
Applejack: I'll buck anything, you name it, I'll buck it. I'm a bucking machine.
Fluttershy: Hey, hey, hey.
Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia, we have your son. Leave 1,000,000 Bits behind Sugarcube Corner or the kid gets it.
Applejack: GET OFFA MAH PROPERTY!! *fires boomstick*
"Equines have polyestrus, which is several estrous cycles during a single breeding season."
I don't know where I got that from.
"Dear Princess Molestia..."
Once upon a boardroom cheery, an executive pondered a query
How could we take these snack cakes and sell some more?
While he noodled, his head he was slapping, but suddenly came a tapping
As if some gnarly bro annoyingly rapping, rapping at the boardroom door
"Tis some sk8 rat," he muttered, "tapping at my boardroom door -
Totally radical, nothing more."
You will never hear mention of the word "gelding".
Random pony A: "Gosh, I hope you didn't pay too much for that dress."
Random pony B: "You know, I was having second thoughts..."
Random stallion: "YOU ALL LOOK BETTER NAKED ANYWAY MMMMMM."
Originally Posted by ursiphiliac
This ever happening-
I'm with Celestia on this one. Cadence needs to actually know a pony before performing her spell otherwise this may very well happen.
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