Rant: Thoughtless Thoughtfulness

[Cocobanana]

People don't really do nice things for me, with the exception of my mom. When she tries it's more detrimental because it proves just how little she knows about me after I've been around her for 20 or so odd years. Like, there's the saying 'there's a person only their mother could love' but it seems like not even my mom understands the way I work and the ways I reach out to others.

[Aleu]

People don't really do nice things for me, with the exception of my mom. When she tries it's more detrimental because it proves just how little she knows about me after I've been around her for 20 or so odd years. Like, there's the saying 'there's a person only their mother could love' but it seems like not even my mom understands the way I work and the ways I reach out to others.

Love =/= understanding.

[Cocobanana]

Love =/= understanding.

It does for me. Love is subjective but it typically means going out of your way to please a person solely for reciprocated affection. You can't really know how to make someone happy if you don't KNOW them, hence the many misunderstandings that cause relationships to break apart if they ever got the chance to form period.

[Aleu]

It does for me. Love is subjective but it typically means going out of your way to please a person solely for reciprocated affection. You can't really know how to make someone happy if you don't KNOW them, hence the many misunderstandings that cause relationships to break apart if they ever got the chance to form period.

That STILL isn't love if you're doing it for selfish reasons. You can understand someone and not give a damn about them just like you can love someone and not really understand them.

[Cocobanana]

That STILL isn't love if you're doing it for selfish reasons. You can understand someone and not give a damn about them just like you can love someone and not really understand them.

Everyone is 'selfish' in that we do what we do to prolong and enhance our lives. Get off your high horse, I'm not saying anything objectionable; only in a way that is atypical from how others would say it. And no, you can't love someone without understanding them, unless you're implying their like of you is a fluke and you are blindly speaking and acting in a way that pleases them greatly. In most cases, when you're getting to know someone, you are programming yourself to know what things will be seen as good in their eyes and then the opposite too.

[Aleu]

Everyone is 'selfish' in that we do what we do to prolong and enhance our lives. Get off your high horse, I'm not saying anything objectionable; only in a way that is atypical from how others would say it. And no, you can't love someone without understanding them, unless you're implying their like of you is a fluke and you are blindly speaking and acting in a way that pleases them greatly. In most cases, when you're getting to know someone, you are programming yourself to know what things will be seen as good in their eyes and then the opposite too.

Get out more often. Like, seriously. If you only "care" about people just so people will like you in return then that's quite sad. "Get off your high horse" really? So because I know people are capable of altruism and not everyone is a dickbag means that I'm on some sort of high horse?

[Jashwa]

When I was a kid, I loved stuffed animals. I had like 40 of them. It was awesome. My parents threw them away because they thought I was too old for them and didn't like them anymore.


I am slowly amassing a new collection. I miss all my childhood friends :C

EDIT-Didn't read coco's post because I just assumed they'd be terrible. But then I read them and they were. Seriously, coco, you're either stuck in angsty teenager mode or a sociopath if you view love and interactions with people as a means to get something from them.

[Aleu]

When I was a kid, I loved stuffed animals. I had like 40 of them. It was awesome. My parents threw them away because they thought I was too old for them and didn't like them anymore.


I am slowly amassing a new collection. I miss all my childhood friends :C

That's odd. I'd be showered with stuffed animals yet my mom would get mad at me for keeping things sentimental to me that weren't stuffed animals.

[Jashwa]

That's odd. I'd be showered with stuffed animals yet my mom would get mad at me for keeping things sentimental to me that weren't stuffed animals.

You're a girl. I'm a man. Men don't like stuffed animals, silly. Only little boys like girly things like that.

[Cocobanana]

Get out more often. Like, seriously. If you only "care" about people just so people will like you in return then that's quite sad. "Get off your high horse" really? So because I know people are capable of altruism and not everyone is a dickbag means that I'm on some sort of high horse?

If there was absolutely NO benefit to hanging out with other people, even if just to feel like you're a so-called good person because you're apparently doing so for no other reason than to grace them with your company, then you wouldn't do it. If you really hung out with people just to hang out with them, why not hang out with a person like me who initially comes off as defensive and antagonistic but is actually just someone who needs a friend and has never had one so doesn't know what it's like (just the same as some people who NEED to get laid cause they're so up tight). Surely you stick to the group of people you talk to that make you feel better about yourself? I wouldn't call that selfless...

I don't think that because we're self-serving means we're dickbags. Some people are more self-serving than others, but the bottom line is that we ultimately put our survival and safety first (with the exception of dire circumstances where a child/familymember/bestfriend/superiorofficer might be involved where you take the bullet for them but just like there are sociopaths and other hiccups in the human psyche we could always chalk up that literal self-sacrifice to a similar thing)

[Jashwa]

CRAWWWWWWWWWLIIIIIIIIIING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN

[Cocobanana]

CRAWWWWWWWWWLIIIIIIIIIING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN

Linkin Park sucks so bad.

Are you going to be at AC too?

[Aleu]

If there was absolutely NO benefit to hanging out with other people, even if just to feel like you're a so-called good person because you're apparently doing so for no other reason than to grace them with your company, then you wouldn't do it. If you really hung out with people just to hang out with them, why not hang out with a person like me who initially comes off as defensive and antagonistic but is actually just someone who needs a friend and has never had one so doesn't know what it's like (just the same as some people who NEED to get laid cause they're so up tight). Surely you stick to the group of people you talk to that make you feel better about yourself? I wouldn't call that selfless...

I don't think that because we're self-serving means we're dickbags. Some people are more self-serving than others, but the bottom line is that we ultimately put our survival and safety first (with the exception of dire circumstances where a child/familymember/bestfriend/superiorofficer might be involved where you take the bullet for them but just like there are sociopaths and other hiccups in the human psyche we could always chalk up that literal self-sacrifice to a similar thing)

I hang out with people because they ASK me to. Not so I can "grace them with my presence". I'm also not going to hang out with random people just because "dey need fwends". You obviously have no idea how people work. When they go out they don't asspat each other and say "AHHH BRO YOU'RE TOTALLY COOL AND AWESOME" "NAAAW MAN, YOU'RE THE AWESOME ONE"

[Onnes]

Love is subjective but it typically means going out of your way to please a person solely for reciprocated affection.

I am having trouble parsing this sentence--it just makes zero sense and tends to run counter to any sensible definition. You seem to be lacking the entire concept of being able to care about someone as a person, regardless of whether they reciprocate anything or not.

[Cocobanana]

I hang out with people because they ASK me to. Not so I can "grace them with my presence". I'm also not going to hang out with random people just because "dey need fwends". You obviously have no idea how people work. When they go out they don't asspat each other and say "AHHH BRO YOU'RE TOTALLY COOL AND AWESOME" "NAAAW MAN, YOU'RE THE AWESOME ONE"

Some of them do. Not the kind I'd hope for but some of them definitely operate on such a shallow level. No one has any idea how EVERYONE works; a lot of it is based on guess work and instinct and the observations of everyone who has paid attention to human behavior during these thousands of years. My perception of you is that whether I made a good point or not, you dislike me because of stupid remarks I've made in the past and will forever write me off so it would benefit me most to ignore you since you can't ignore me, making me the bigger man so to speak. But I'd rather be stupid and try to prove I'm not only not a bad guy, but extremely far from that.

[Aleu]

Some of them do. Not the kind I'd hope for but some of them definitely operate on such a shallow level. No one has any idea how EVERYONE works; a lot of it is based on guess work and instinct and the observations of everyone who has paid attention to human behavior during these thousands of years. My perception of you is that whether I made a good point or not, you dislike me because of stupid remarks I've made in the past and will forever write me off so it would benefit me most to ignore you since you can't ignore me, making me the bigger man so to speak. But I'd rather be stupid and try to prove I'm not only not a bad guy, but extremely far from that.

Just because SOME people are shallow doesn't mean that EVERYONE is like you're arguing. We all aren't slaves to instincts and nature.
Also, wrong. It's not just the stupid remarks in the past. It's the stupid remarks now. You claim you're not a bad guy while insulting pretty much everyone that has ever cared about anyone and saying "No, you don't care about them. You only care about yourself". But no, I'M the bad guy because I disagree with you.

[Cocobanana]

Just because SOME people are shallow doesn't mean that EVERYONE is like you're arguing. We all aren't slaves to instincts and nature.
Also, wrong. It's not just the stupid remarks in the past. It's the stupid remarks now. You claim you're not a bad guy while insulting pretty much everyone that has ever cared about anyone and saying "No, you don't care about them. You only care about yourself". But no, I'M the bad guy because I disagree with you.

It isn't an insult because I'm including myself in the 'everyone' group. Why would I make fun of myself? And I'm saying your care of them is based on caring about yourself. Let's say you're in a relationship with someone. When you're together, besides the slightly lower statistics of getting an STD if your relationship is 'closed' when you're doing sex stuff, there are also tax benefits, social status because you're making all the single and lonely people jealous, and best of all you've got someone in your life closer than your own family most likely who you could be completely open and honest with while getting that in return, the exchange rewarding because you're making yourself vulnerable to a person who COULD take advantage of it at a moments notice but won't because you 'love' each other (which could be translated as they've got just as much to lose. That's why the relationships where one person has so much more to lose than the other have a higher fail rate because of the insecurities it can cause).

Because of all the benefits to being in a relationship with this person, you aren't going to hit them or lie to them or tell everyone very personal secrets they shared if you know what's good for you. You benefit them but it's to benefit yourself too. I'm not saying there is absolutely zero care for other people, only that our own survival is at the top of the ladder. It doesn't matter how much you love someone; if they've got a gun to your head and you're positive they have no regard for your life anymore, I'm sure you would try to disarm them or escape instead of saying how much you love them and trying to give them a hug.

[Aleu]

It isn't an insult because I'm including myself in the 'everyone' group. Why would I make fun of myself? And I'm saying your care of them is based on caring about yourself. Let's say you're in a relationship with someone. When you're together, besides the slightly lower statistics of getting an STD if your relationship is 'closed' when you're doing sex stuff, there are also tax benefits, social status because you're making all the single and lonely people jealous, and best of all you've got someone in your life closer than your own family most likely who you could be completely open and honest with while getting that in return, the exchange rewarding because you're making yourself vulnerable to a person who COULD take advantage of it at a moments notice but won't because you 'love' each other (which could be translated as they've got just as much to lose. That's why the relationships where one person has so much more to lose than the other have a higher fail rate because of the insecurities it can cause).

Because of all the benefits to being in a relationship with this person, you aren't going to hit them or lie to them or tell everyone very personal secrets they shared if you know what's good for you. You benefit them but it's to benefit yourself too. I'm not saying there is absolutely zero care for other people, only that our own survival is at the top of the ladder. It doesn't matter how much you love someone; if they've got a gun to your head and you're positive they have no regard for your life anymore, I'm sure you would try to disarm them or escape instead of saying how much you love them and trying to give them a hug.

Obviously you don't know how relationships work either.
1. Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they get tax bennies.
2. I don't date people just to make other people jealous. That's stupid.
3. People don't stay together because "they have too much to lose". Could it be that...hmmmmmmmmm THEY ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY?

Just because there's some benefit being reciprocated doesn't mean the person is in it for that. You seem to think that just because there's rewards then that means people do things only for said rewards which is not true.

By the way, just because you include yourself doesn't mean you're not insulting anyone else. I could say "Everyone is a worthless twat". I'd be included but I'm still insulting everyone other than me if I don't personally feel insulted.

[Fay V]

 

I never asked for this

"Surprise! I got you [x]! You like [x], right?"
When I was five, sure. Thanks anyway.
"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT"

(I haven't had that exactly, but it's not far off)

Lol

And yeah it's a lot like that. Best one, my grandparents on my father's side once gave me a raggedy ann doll for my birthday, with the assumption that I have no Y chromosoome and will therefore love it. When I was little there was a big one that sat on my shelf and just stared with those damn eyes when I was trying to sleep. I have found them creepy ever since.
My young self did not take this gift well.

[Cocobanana]

Obviously you don't know how relationships work either.
1. Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they get tax bennies.
2. I don't date people just to make other people jealous. That's stupid.
3. People don't stay together because "they have too much to lose". Could it be that...hmmmmmmmmm THEY ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY?

Just because there's some benefit being reciprocated doesn't mean the person is in it for that. You seem to think that just because there's rewards then that means people do things only for said rewards which is not true.

By the way, just because you include yourself doesn't mean you're not insulting anyone else. I could say "Everyone is a worthless twat". I'd be included but I'm still insulting everyone other than me if I don't personally feel insulted.

I didn't mean what I said as an insult to anyone. What purpose would that serve besides to further alienate myself from the, on the whole, respectful and interesting people on this website. It sucks that when I'm trying to share a feeling, it gets shot down... it seems like you're saying that I shouldn't feel bad that my mom doesn't understand me but you don't know me or how it feels to have everyone hate you while your parents have nothing but ineffective advice to alleviate this... I am a good son, and besides being gay and atheist I've done everything my mom and stepdad have asked of me, whether doing chores or hanging out with them once a week and I don't disrespect them on the whole which is much better than some can say. I'm no spoiled brat in that regard... it's just the connection I have with my parents is more of a surface one than I'd like but every time I would try to reach out and open up they wouldn't understand me and get mad or something x.x

[Aleu]

I didn't mean what I said as an insult to anyone. What purpose would that serve besides to further alienate myself from the, on the whole, respectful and interesting people on this website. It sucks that when I'm trying to share a feeling, it gets shot down... it seems like you're saying that I shouldn't feel bad that my mom doesn't understand me but you don't know me or how it feels to have everyone hate you while your parents have nothing but ineffective advice to alleviate this... I am a good son, and besides being gay and atheist I've done everything my mom and stepdad have asked of me, whether doing chores or hanging out with them once a week and I don't disrespect them on the whole which is much better than some can say. I'm no spoiled brat in that regard... it's just the connection I have with my parents is more of a surface one than I'd like but every time I would try to reach out and open up they wouldn't understand me and get mad or something x.x

Love it. Pulling the "you don't know me" card and thinking that you're the only person in the world that has parents that don't understand them.

My mom doesn't understand me either. She doesn't get that I despise children so she constantly brings up how I'm supposed to treat my "future kids". She continues to buy me dresses and girly frilly things even though I've stated multiple times that I hate them. If you even had a minute thought process, maybe you'd take your logic of "they do things to get love in return" and apply it to this situation. Of the multiple times I've stated "Don't buy me dresses" then why would she continue to do so if she knows what will make me happy and like her? Hm?

[Conker]

Whereas I never had job applications filled out for me, I've had my father search job boards and tell me jobs that were open, without considering if I was actually qualified for those openings.

My dad does this to. It's nice of him, but it gets kind of depressing. "Here's this cool job you should check out, you'd be perfect" and then the job requires years of experience or something that I clearly do not have. Sure was a cool job, but not meant for me!

I don't have any real bothersome examples. I've a feeling I'm doing this to a friend of mine. There's this concert coming this month, and I asked her if she wanted to go. She said yes, but only if money allowed and she said she'd get back to me. Well, I felt generous and just bought her a ticket. She seems happy, but I'm not sure if that happiness is fake or not. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't want to go and just didn't want to tell me that :[ But she's fucking stuck going now >:3

If you really hung out with people just to hang out with them, why not hang out with a person like me who initially comes off as defensive and antagonistic but is actually just someone who needs a friend and has never had one so doesn't know what it's like (just the same as some people who NEED to get laid cause they're so up tight).

Because those people are annoying social retards and are no fun to be around.

[Cocobanana]

Because those people are annoying social retards and are no fun to be around.

Which won't change unless they get help right? Everyone starts out as a social retard of sorts and learns what to do and not to do in the company of others by example and observation. So someone who has had less to no exposure with 'friendship' is going to come off a lot more poorly than someone who has had many chances to evolve and get grown. Thank you for calling me an annoying social retard who is no fun to be around, my self-esteem wasn't tarnished enough without getting picked on by a furry, the bane of the internet.

[Aleu]

Which won't change unless they get help right? Everyone starts out as a social retard of sorts and learns what to do and not to do in the company of others by example and observation. So someone who has had less to no exposure with 'friendship' is going to come off a lot more poorly than someone who has had many chances to evolve and get grown. Thank you for calling me an annoying social retard who is no fun to be around, my self-esteem wasn't tarnished enough without getting picked on by a furry, the bane of the internet.

See the thing is, they start out as children. They're retarded in every way. If you still act like that in adulthood then that's your own fault. If you're so bad that "furrys, the bane of the internet" want nothing to do with you then that's on you. Not us. If you want to stop "getting picked on" then stop acting so unpleasant.

[Fay V]

Learning is not an excuse, everyone is learning all the time. I have very good friends with asperger's that sometimes hurt my feelings but have never attacked my character. Then there are people that view everyone as an enemy first. Maybe you don't happen to have anything in common and just move on, but if you don't treat them like your best bud you're the bad guy, you hate them. They lash out and then expect forgiveness afterwards. They expect everyne else to put up with their acidic personality because they're not good with relationships. Nope nope nope.