Rant: Thoughtless Thoughtfulness

[NerdyMunk]

It seems to me you've never been in the position where you've spent 20+ hours on something and have had it ruined, completely, because theory is well and good, but it's hard as hell to do it better and faster when your deadline draws near.

Let's see- my recent computer
-I had a duty to put a project together for my sibling's graduation party. I scanned god knows how many pictures into my computer to combine it into a music video. I worked on it for a while (around 2 to 3 weeks).
2-3 weeks before my deadline, guess what happened.
Guess?
Entire computer crashed
Harddrive- Ruined
-Scanned pictures- gone
-Project file- gone
Waited for it to repair for a while. Guess what next. I scanned the pics again, not so many this time, worked on the project file and got it done within deadline because I had already worked on it weeks before so I knew my vision of it, and so therefore I got it done quicker.
And everyone at the party liked the video. The end.

[Xipoid]

For the most part, in my case my mother doesn't fully understand my needs and is too stubborn to fully listen when I explain that she really can't touch my computers. Then she's pissed if I complain because she went to all this effort.

Dad on the other hand gets it. He'll leave my stuff alone and will actually offer things I really need at the time.

It's just really frustrating. I dunno how to explain it, but when I'm going into introvert mode it winds me up to have to figure out my room again after everything has been moved.

Fortunately, empathy and emotional intelligence is a skill and not a trait. It can be improved with practice, mindfulness, and observation. The person only has to possess the desire to do so.


I had much of the same thing with my mother. After a while, I just gave up trying to deal with her. It simply wasn't worth the effort. Now, that is a little more extreme than your case, but you may be able to communicate with her through other channels.

[Conker]

Which won't change unless they get help right?

Which thankfully is not my job!

Getting help is a two way street. You need to want help before it actually works. Following advice is a good example. If shithead one is going "lawllawllawl I'm being annoying" and shithead two tells shithead one to stop being annoying, but shithead one won't stop being annoying, then that's not shithead two's problem anymore. And if shithead one then goes "WHY NO ONE MY FRIEND lawllawllawl I'm still annoying" then shithead two has the right to call shithead one a shithead.

Entire computer crashed

You're still missing the bloody point of this thread.

[Fay V]

Let's see- my recent computer
-I had a duty to put a project together for my sibling's graduation party. I scanned god knows how many pictures into my computer to combine it into a music video. I worked on it for a while (around 2 to 3 weeks).
2-3 weeks before my deadline, guess what happened.
Guess?
Entire computer crashed
Harddrive- Ruined
-Scanned pictures- gone
-Project file- gone
Waited for it to repair for a while. Guess what next. I scanned the pics again, not so many this time, worked on the project file and got it done within deadline because I had already worked on it weeks before so I knew my vision of it, and so therefore I got it done quicker.
And everyone at the party liked the video. The end.

whoop di fuck. If you haven't had an experience were someone you know was the result of a computer crashing and you have less time than is physically possible to fix the result, then this thread is not for you.

Fortunately, empathy and emotional intelligence is a skill and not a trait. It can be improved with practice, mindfulness, and observation. The person only has to possess the desire to do so.


I had much of the same thing with my mother. After a while, I just gave up trying to deal with her. It simply wasn't worth the effort. Now, that is a little more extreme than your case, but you may be able to communicate with her through other channels.

Eh I try. It does get better when I'm out of the house, which thankfully i'll be able to do soon.

[LouyieBlu]

So this is where the cool kids hang out.....

I got that so much from my mom, it was insane. She would come to my room and 'clean up' while im gone, I get back and, well the first few times I flipped out, after awhile though I came to the conclusion ' Fuck it. Fuck it all, no matter what I attempt to do to fix the problem it will get messed up again'.
It is amazingly annoying when people take your shit and organize it to there liking, seriously it was fucking organized to me me so leave it the hell alone you shit.
At least thats what I think, there have only been a few times one I actually voice those thoughts, but..well out of the 10 or so people who have been in that situation with me, well I only talk with 3 out of the ten today.

[Littlerock]

I had a kid do that for one of my drawings. I was about halfway done and I was working on it while my dad was at the parent's house for some bible study group. For my sketch I was rubbing the edges to get the shading right. One of the kids (around 11 or 12) asked me what I was doing so I explained. A little bit later I had to use the restroom so I just left the drawing on the table. When I came back it was smudged to hell and back and I had to start over.
>:C

UGHRAGE

This is why I like to draw in private in real life :c

[NerdyMunk]

whoop di fuck. If you haven't had an experience were someone you know was the result of a computer crashing and you have less time than is physically possible to fix the result, then this thread is not for you.

No, but I do have a weight bench in a room it's not supposed to be because somehow my parent believes it should be there for when my sibling comes over and moves into the room that the weight bench originally was. I've argued that my sibling could stay in another room besides that room, but I guess I have to deal with dis and reassembling the bar when I work out.

[Jashwa]

10/10 trolling, Nerdy. *applause*

[Gr8fulFox]

10/10 trolling, Nerdy. *applause*

No, no, he's being serious; I mean, can you imagine the work that goes into having to take the bar off/put it back on whenever he wants to work out? He's got it rough, man.

[NerdyMunk]

No, no, he's being serious; I mean, can you imagine the work that goes into having to take the bar off/put it back on whenever he wants to work out? He's got it rough, man.

I was about to say that. 50 lbs isn't so difficult to re and dis assemble, but believe it or not I've stubbed the same toe twice by 10 lbs. I don't want no broken big toe, and I'll be careful not to do that. All I'm saying is I get why people try to interfere with your lives by doing countless things but stop being so fricken pessimistic about it if you really are. Try to find a silver lining as difficult ​as it might sound.

[Aleu]

I was about to say that. 50 lbs isn't so difficult to re and dis assemble, but believe it or not I've stubbed the same toe twice by 10 lbs. I don't want no broken big toe, and I'll be careful not to do that. All I'm saying is I get why people try to interfere with your lives by doing countless things but stop being so fricken pessimistic about it if you really are. Try to find a silver lining as difficult ​as it might sound.

Well excuse us princess for ranting about things that piss us off. :V

[NerdyMunk]

It's just a suggestion.
But I am getting really tired though of people who try to understand where you're coming from. For instance, advisors are there to sign you up for classes, not to talk about your family issues. Especially when you wait hours to get an advisor, you want to get in and out.

[Xipoid]

It's just a suggestion.
But I am getting really tired though of people who try to understand where you're coming from. For instance, advisors are there to sign you up for classes, not to talk about your family issues. Especially when you wait hours to get an advisor, you want to get in and out.

That's just a failure to properly empathize. Neither a cold psychological analysis nor disengaged fact-finding does much to warm the hearts of others. It's a little surprising how much weight the human brain places on empathic connections and emotional cues, but not entirely surprising when you put it in the perspective of us as social creatures. Really, looking at it from the stance of any one human being a rational being or rather being perfectly capable of rational thought (yet easily blinded by the simplest of presumptions) is what makes it seem so bizarre. What I find particularly interesting about it is how incredibly easy it is to fool the entire system and end up with a [medically defined] psychopath.

[drpickelle]

A few years ago, I was going on a camping trip with some friends for four days.

First time hanging out with friends in a different province, away from home and parents. (16 at time) Not sure what to bring, but I plan this shit out for WEEKS! Day of leaving, I pack everything I think I'll need, including the key items of shampoo and sun screen lotion.

Mom 'tries' to be helpful. Decides that I might 'lose' the bottle of sun screen lotion-- pours a small amount of it into a shampoo bottle identical in brand to the one I brought. She realizes it's the same brand, and takes the shampoo out of my bag so I don't get confused by the two bottles-- forgets to put more shampoo in/TELL me she was messing with my pack.

I go camping. It's RECORD HEAT! I try to apply sun screen-- can't find the bottle-- friends don't have any. I burn horribly. Next day, I try to wash my hair (hair is super long-- gotta wash that shit every day or it gets oily). Find the bottle and use it. Since I'm in the wilderness, I gotta wash it out with half a bottle of water(gotta conserve). It doesn't wash out.

So here I am-- bitten to death and itchy from mosquitoes, back aching from sleeping on the ground, sun burnt so bad it hurts to move, and my hair is the greasiest fucking shit I've ever come across because I 'washed' it with sun screen lotion. Truly this is hell.

Had fun on the trip-- but it would have been a lot better had people not messed with my god damn pack. :V

[Mentova]

All I could think of while reading the OP was "I didn't ask for this" :V

That shit would drive me nuts though. :c

[LizardKing]

All I could think of while reading the OP was "I didn't ask for this" :V

#23

[Mentova]

#23

Well do you honestly expect me to read the thread? Gawd. >=[

[NerdyMunk]

That's just a failure to properly empathize. Neither a cold psychological analysis nor disengaged fact-finding does much to warm the hearts of others. It's a little surprising how much weight the human brain places on empathic connections and emotional cues, but not entirely surprising when you put it in the perspective of us as social creatures. Really, looking at it from the stance of any one human being a rational being or rather being perfectly capable of rational thought (yet easily blinded by the simplest of presumptions) is what makes it seem so bizarre. What I find particularly interesting about it is how incredibly easy it is to fool the entire system and end up with a [medically defined] psychopath.

I don't think you get it. Every time I have to go and do something with an advisor, especially in the morning after I took an hour long practice test, I have to wait an hour because I don't have an assigned advisor. Even though it is written down say they assign you an advisor, they don't. My college is weird. Also put in the fact that I had to go to different advisors before.
-One to figure out if my recent college credits transferred
-One to try to assign the classes to me but can't because I am not eligible for most of them.
-One after I do the first attempt of the practice test and still saying I can't sign up
- And the last to finally sign up for classes because I am eligible because I passed the test.
Mind you, that's four hours of waiting, plus another two attempting the practice test. The last thing I want is an advisor trying to add sympathy especially when I wake up at 7 to prepare for the test. I'm sorry, but excuse my French, I was tired of the bullshit.

[Xipoid]

I don't think you get it. Every time I have to go and do something with an advisor, especially in the morning after I took an hour long practice test, I have to wait an hour because I don't have an assigned advisor. Even though it is written down say they assign you an advisor, they don't. My college is weird. Also put in the fact that I had to go to different advisors before.
-One to figure out if my recent college credits transferred
-One to try to assign the classes to me but can't because I am not eligible for most of them.
-One after I do the first attempt of the practice test and still saying I can't sign up
- And the last to finally sign up for classes because I am eligible because I passed the test.
Mind you, that's four hours of waiting, plus another two attempting the practice test. The last thing I want is an advisor trying to add sympathy especially when I wake up at 7 to prepare for the test. I'm sorry, but excuse my French, I was tired of the bullshit.

I would like to be clear that I was offhandedly speaking about your advisors and not you. In addition, you cannot reasonably expect me to understand or know the specifics when they remain unstated.

[Sevipervert]

I actually cannot think of a specific instance that "thoughtful thoughtfulness" has happened for me. More often than not, it's usually them only doing things when I ask, & vice versa.

[NerdyMunk]

I would like to be clear that I was offhandedly speaking about your advisors and not you. In addition, you cannot reasonably expect me to understand or know the specifics when they remain unstated.

I'm an undergraduate and was wondering if my credits from my previous college had transferred. Apparently for the next classes I would need to take for my major I would need to be eligible for an English class through the result of the placement test scores. If the scores weren't high enough, I wouldn't get into my classes or I would retake to get a higher score. Taking the test requires to come into a specific room to a limited time slot, which in my case happened to start at 9 in the morning and end at 1pm. After the scores are printed out and handed to me, I go down a floor and wait for another hour for an advisor who yet tries to understand me instead of signing me up for classes I know I am eligible to be in because I got the right scores. Specific enough?

[Xipoid]

I'm an undergraduate and was wondering if my credits from my previous college had transferred. Apparently for the next classes I would need to take for my major I would need to be eligible for an English class through the result of the placement test scores. If the scores weren't high enough, I wouldn't get into my classes or I would retake to get a higher score. Taking the test requires to come into a specific room to a limited time slot, which in my case happened to start at 9 in the morning and end at 1pm. After the scores are printed out and handed to me, I go down a floor and wait for another hour for an advisor who yet tries to understand me instead of signing me up for classes I know I am eligible to be in because I got the right scores. Specific enough?

While I do appreciate that you've informed me, we are on different pages. You seem to be operating under the assumption that I had initially been attempting to address your specific situation. I was not. Instead, I was speaking entirely about the general idea behind what you said here:

...
But I am getting really tired though of people who try to understand where you're coming from. For instance, advisors are there to sign you up for classes, not to talk about your family issues. Especially when you wait hours to get an advisor, you want to get in and out.

That concept being someone that makes the attempt to help, but is not in fact emotionally invested (as in putting forth any amount of genuine emotional effort) in doing so. Hence my reply of:

That's just a failure to properly empathize.

Which I tend expounded upon with:

Neither a cold psychological analysis nor disengaged fact-finding does much to warm the hearts of others. It's a little surprising how much weight the human brain places on empathic connections and emotional cues, but not entirely surprising when you put it in the perspective of us as social creatures. Really, looking at it from the stance of any one human being a rational being or rather being perfectly capable of rational thought (yet easily blinded by the simplest of presumptions) is what makes it seem so bizarre. What I find particularly interesting about it is how incredibly easy it is to fool the entire system and end up with a [medically defined] psychopath.

My comment was meant to be taken in consideration of a general case.

[NerdyMunk]

-snip-

I still don't want an advisor trying to get in my business instead of signing me up for classes.
Unless my advisor was at my Quaker school, advising outside of that to me is just there to sign me up for classes, not pressing me with family questions at 10 in the morning when I just had an excellent 7 hours of sleep, 30 min commute, and an hour test time.
---
So my sibling is moving in. With his console and his games in the basement

 

which has the surround sound 5.1 setup.

Guess no more games or movies for me. And I've already tried the argument of him staying in another room, but that argument went wonderfully. :V

[Conker]

We have to fill out these little spreadsheets at work, basically what we did for the day. "Worked on this for X hours" kind of thing. They are in another room, so I usually walk over and grab one in the morning. Well, my coworker printed off a stack for our room, and was all "you're all welcome!" But, going to go and grab one was a good way to kill some time, so I told her that and we joked about it and lulz were had all around.

Now how will I find a way to kill two extra minutes in a day :[

[~secret~]

Now how will I find a way to kill two extra minutes in a day :[

You could always mastu-

No. I will not make that joke, I'm better than that.