There's a time for that Impact; this isn't that time.
Anyway, I'm not actually going to be sticking around- I procrastinated on my work...again, so I'm going to see if I can get it done early in the morning. Good night, and good luck.
I want to...
what the fuck do I want to do.
I am so alone.
My nostalgia sense is tingling.
Ah, I knew it! Impact is posting.
Is it strange even know I still remember Planet Dance? It's been years since I've seen Macross 7 and I still remember the song.
EDIT: Well now you've gotten Spoonman ringing around back there, goddammit it you filthy commie with your devil's music.
Well fuck me sideways.
I've always wondered why nobody has ever given me a nickname considering I've known thousands of people, and now I know. Short version I chose CannonFodder as my online handle cause meh fuck it. Turns out I did and do have a nickname people call me behind my back and I just found out from someone I used to know that people would only call me it while I wasn't around and would call me it all the time. And guess what my nickname is? ticking time bomb. It's too long for a simple nickname in my opinion, I mean if I scare so many people that badly in real life why not just settle for time bomb. I'm not upset, in fact I'm digging the nickname after all how many people get to be called ticking time bomb as their nickname. As for his reasoning I have to agree on every point, it's not like I can just dismiss that I'm the sort of person who would like hurting someone else, granted they attack first.
Not quite what I was expecting, but it's worth it.
I still have that feeling of loneliness in a crowd, and I understand why. Friendly faces don't change the amount of trust you have, only the emotions you associate with them. It's why I feel alone with the friends that I have; I don't trust the people around me with much. I like to think a lot know I'm gay/bi but it's really not that big a margin.
Parker...I can't believe how much I can trust him. Talking to him re-established that. He sat there in the night and didn't just listen, he consoled me, he took me in as a friend, told me I was a close friend. I almost started crying talking to him so openly yet he listened to me and helped me think.
Parker is invaluable, and to think he'll not be with me as a schoolmate by this time next year is...crushing to say the least. I've established a hugely close bond with him; not just that, he's my bridge between school friends and fur friends. He's the only person I talk to about the people I meet here, and he keeps a secret.
And then I think about Ari is the same way, only he's here instead of there.
Ari keeps me safe here and Parker keeps me alive as well.
Even if there's no God, even if there is, I thank the heavens for these people in my life.
If Parker was here I'd thank him again and I'd give everything to listen instead of force him to worry about me.
As for Ari. I've listened and told. The bond made just in the course of a few months that evolved from a similar interest is fantastic and magical to me.
I love you, Ari. I love you for everything.
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