Looking for critique on my first furry story

[Midnight-Shadow]

Hey all. I am currently in the process of writing my first furry fantasy and would love some critique on how to best improve my work, specifically on how to make the story flow without it seeming tedious to read. The story is about my Fursona, Midnight and his adventure as he gets captured, escapes and meets up with a dolphin called Nelphy (the Fursona of a friend of mine). Before this I was mainly writing fanfiction for World of Warcraft so this is a completely new direction for me. The link is below:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8260689/

Thanks in advance for any advice, and don't worry about being too harsh on me if it is crap, I have a thick skin.

[Kluuvdar]

If you want to improve your work, rethink it. After writing a paragraph, a chapter, or any length of text, write it again in a different manner, and then write it six more times in completely different ways.

[Midnight-Shadow]

I'll give this a try when I come to writing the next chapter. Thanks a lot. Was there any particular passage which you think could have been re-written better or is it just the story in general?