Critique my Story!

Discussion in 'Tutorials & Critiques' started by Crazydaisy, Nov 20, 2016.

  1. Crazydaisy

    Crazydaisy Hey! You better watch out or you'll get hugs!

  2. I.Hykok

    I.Hykok Member

    So, things were bad. The worlds in a state of postwar recovery which is the reason for thefirst person narrator'sanger issues. This leaves the reader wondering if he'll spiral downward or grow from it so it has an early hook. Honestly it's too soon in the plot to critique anything about it.
    There was however, quite the plethora of sentence structure errors.
     

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