Female critique of Furry screenplay wanted

Discussion in 'Tutorials and Critiques' started by Rivercoon, Oct 12, 2016.

  1. Rivercoon

    Rivercoon Member

    I am mostly known as a visual artist but from time to time I will take up a writing project. I am in the middle of a big one right now. After three years work (and twenty some contemplating) the rough draft of a movie script based (with permission) on one of my favorite furry short stories is done. I have passed it on to several friends to point out plot holes and generally give comments but so far none of those have been women. I think that should be changed.

    The story is a romantic comedy about a male human from this world and a female cat from a parallel one who meet, fall in love and have to figure out a way to build a life together that doesn't end up with one or both in laboratory jars somewhere.

    As written it would make a two hour, live action, R-rated (there is a sex scene and some swearing so you should be over 18) movie. So, anyone interested in having a look? If so let me know and I can email you a PDF of the script.

    All I can offer in return at this point is a look at one of your stories and maybe a spot in the credits in the highly unlikely event it actually ever shows up on film.
     
  2. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    I dunno, specifically limiting it like that is kind of bad. Like shit, I love me romance and I'm a dood
     
  3. swooz

    swooz Guest

    Isn't that beastiality?
     
  4. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    Holy shit you're right. I didn't even see "male human from this world and a female cat"
     
    xaliceonfire likes this.
  5. swooz

    swooz Guest

    I guess it's not as bad if it's an anthro cat, but it's still pretty bad.
     
  6. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    That's still a bit sketchy in my book
     
  7. Rivercoon

    Rivercoon Member

    They are both sapient beings.
    Was Spock the product of bestiality? I suppose some Vulcans thought so.
     
  8. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    You failed to mention if it's anthro, sentient or can even speak. I'd throw the guidelines to show if it's bestiality or not as long as the entity meets all 3 criteria, but I can't find the damn thing. However, to me it's still borderline even if it meets all 3 criteria
     
  9. Rivercoon

    Rivercoon Member

    Yes she meets all three. Her world is very similar to ours but run by anthro cats instead of humans. To her the word anthropomorphic means "in the shape of a cat".
     
  10. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    Explain what she meets
    Is she an anthro? Is she just a house cat? Is she nekomata?
    Is she completely 100% sentient?
    Does she have a firm grasp of language and the brain capable to think beyond that of basic instincts?
     
  11. Rivercoon

    Rivercoon Member

    As I said she and her kind are running another world just as complex as our own. A mirror universe of sorts, with some distortions in the reflection.
    Are you interested in critiquing the script?
     
  12. Rivercoon

    Rivercoon Member

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