Girlfriends and how to makings them.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kezi Avdiivka, Apr 12, 2017.

  1. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    To teach you all to how to find a girlfriend, one must know what having a girlfriend requires.

    1.You must have smarts. Women hate stupid people, especially other stupid women. If you are not so smart, you can goto nootropics depot and buy smart drugs to making you into intelligent.

    2.You must be nice. Womens do not like assholes, unless your a sexy asshole, then you can pretty much do what you want and she will still like you, but then you will be known as "That asshole with a girlfriend" and nobody likes assholes. Also if you are into assholes then #SWAG.

    3.You must be open to bullshit. Bullshit is the biggest thing you must endure to having a girlfriends or a wife. Trust me on this, I know my bullshit, alot of people do it and I have been known by some as God. That is how experienced in bullshit I am being.

    4.You must be a Gentlemans. Hug kittens, cry at stupid dramatic movies, hug puppies if you wish but kittens are better. However this can also make you look like a pussy, so be careful.

    5.White tiger kittens immediately get you as much sex as you want, true story.

    6.If you are a furry and you have someone who is not a furry, then ignore her completely because furries are master race.

    7.Fuck Politics. If she is a Democrat or a Republican, the easiest way to have this issue completely ignored is to say "I can't vote for either because if one of them kills the jews or bombs iran or something then i'm technically responsible." and you go full neutral.

    8.Mental Illness? Wait till you're stable or else you will be worse than an over emotional crazy person." I fucked up with this one and got into a huge war over 7 years with a Finnish woman, and everyone knows When around Finns, the Ice is Thin. Well I had a blowtorch and that ended badly.

    9.Have a Job. Jobs allow you to spend countless hours that you could use improving yourself and being what you wanna be in life making monies, and monies helps with the whole dating thing, because. "HAY CAN SOMEONE PAY FOR MY GIRLFRIENDS DINNER PLZ?" on patreon is not sexy it is sad.

    10.If you go out with a social justice warrior and you have sexytimes and do not call her back? expect rape charges.

    11.Alcohol acts in the central nervous system primarily by binding to the GABA-A receptor, increasing the effects of the inhibitory neurotransmitter GABA. It is also an NMDA negative allosteric modulator. An nACH agonist,5-HT3 receptor agonist, Glycine and Adenosine reuptake inhibitor, L-type calcium channel blocker, and GIRK channel opener. What all this means is don't drink alot of alcohol when with girlfriend or else you become dumb fuck central.

    12.College is not as super sexy party time as one may think. It is usually awkward meeting peoples time and hope you don't have to see them again ever.

    13.Mouthbreathing is unacceptable unless you're doing it over the phone creepily.

    14.Watch this, it is super informative on how to smash.

    Now that you have my advice, you are now ready to awkwardly talk to females with a slightly better chance of them not laughing at you.
    WolfNightV4X1, Zenoth, Wither and 2 others like this.
  2. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Mein Gott

    How to make a girfriend: Walk up to some random girl and press X. On your controller.
  3. JumboWumbo

    JumboWumbo Banned in two states.

    Just followed your advice. I am literally fucking three girls at once right now.

    Thanks OP!
    msgrandpabacon and Yakamaru like this.
  4. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    I think this video would better summarize

    ZacAttackk and Yakamaru like this.
  5. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Mein Gott

    A furry 4-legged snake with 3 dicks. Not sure how to feel about this.
  6. Tezzy Fur

    Tezzy Fur Active Member

    this thread is ssssoooooo disturbing.
  7. ZacAttackk

    ZacAttackk professional procrastinator

    Does this work in minecraft?
  8. -Praydeth-

    -Praydeth- The Trickster coyote.

    Don't worry if you are gay it will work too! *Gives thumbs up & A fake smile as if pretending to just even be human*
    ThatOneLombaxx and Yakamaru like this.
  9. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Mein Gott

    You don't even like women, lul. Why are you even here? :3

    Fun fact: Gay men are more attractive to women in general for some reason. I have no clue why.
  10. lajm

    lajm family guy funny moments

    yes but you need to have diamonds. Lots of them.
  11. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    Im making this my sig xD
    estiniens, Zenoth and Yakamaru like this.
  12. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Mein Gott

    Fun fact: Diamonds are artifically made expensive due to mining quotas and market manipulation.
  13. Tezzy Fur

    Tezzy Fur Active Member

    Not true Yakamaru, I love women, I just don't want to have sex with them. I'm just a little creeped out that there are people out there who think women are a diffrent species (not in a fun furry way) that need to be manipulated, bullied and patronised. But you know, whatever.
    Atsuma and Yakamaru like this.
  14. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Mein Gott

    There are people out there who genuinely think that, yes. Men and women alike. OP however does not.

    This whole thread is a joke, and it should be taken as such. Go take a look at Kezi's posting history, and you'll understand.

    The videos should've been a clear giveaway..

    A like for the effort though. <3
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2017
    estiniens likes this.
  15. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    Wait, someone took this seriously?


    Edit: Also I love how my icon just completes this thread with Koko's shit eating smile xD
    estiniens and Yakamaru like this.
  16. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Mein Gott


    10/10 gotta make more such threads to bait. :3
  17. PlusThirtyOne

    PlusThirtyOne What DOES my username mean...?

    What about English and how to make speakings them?
  18. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    >:c you makings fun of my english?

    *raises his tiny bappin paws* Comere!
    PlusThirtyOne likes this.
  19. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Mein Gott

    I spik veri gud britiss.

    Language Skill: New Indian immigrant.
  20. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    Working on a Neuroscience guide im about to post on here to help you guys. Srsly it's not a troll thread.
    Wither likes this.

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