Girlfriends and how to makings them.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kezi Avdiivka, Apr 12, 2017.

  1. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    Also I posted it first lol, I thought you had gotten it from me so I didn't say anything.
    Yakamaru likes this.
  2. Mandragoras

    Mandragoras Inept Abecedarian

    This thread is mainly scary because people exist who think this shit.

    It's funny for roughly the same reasons.
  3. Yvvki

    Yvvki Sassy lesser panda.

    The funny thing about this thread is it's mostly true. Girls want to have someone they can rely on. Thus they go for guys of equal or higher intelligence and emotional evolved guys who they can relate to and comunicate with so much of a facial expression.
    Yakamaru likes this.
  4. Come on, someone's gotta make the how to get a boyfriend tutorial right? ;)
  5. FluffyShutterbug

    FluffyShutterbug A Foxy Femboy Photographer

    I really don't think it THAT complicated, Kezi. There's no way that I'm speaking for all women out there, but I only really care about two things. 1: Be a nice, respectful person. And, 2: If you don't like furries and/or are creeped out by them, then we have nothing more to talk about. Hope this makes things clearer. :)
  6. Rykhoteth


    I think you're making it too complicated. Just wait for the local witchdoctor to have a sale on curses and get creative. Stay away from any potions or spells with "love" in the title since those are marked up just like the wedding tax.

    The traditional mating dances still work pretty good. The three surefire ones I'd recommend are: chugging a pint while singing "Be a man", or doing a no-death no-bonfire SL1 Darksouls speedrun, or hosting a BBQ while debating Star Trek.
    Yakamaru and ThatOneLombaxx like this.
  7. Mr. Fox

    Mr. Fox Well-Known Member

    If only you knew how hard I'm laughing right now.
    Yakamaru likes this.
  8. Wither

    Wither Is honestly confused by life.

    Yakamaru likes this.
  9. WolfNightV4X1

    WolfNightV4X1 King of Kawaii; That Token Femboy

    You guys do realize satire exists as a way to dispel and mock how some people associate in reality, and this in particular mocks the way people associate female matchmaking works?

    I think sometime people miss the overall picture when they look at things
    lajm likes this.
  10. estiniens

    estiniens stargazer

    press F to get gf.
    Yakamaru and ThatOneLombaxx like this.
  11. msgrandpabacon

    msgrandpabacon Active Member

    Press F5 if you don't like the one you got by pressing F.
    Yakamaru likes this.
  12. estiniens

    estiniens stargazer

    did y'all know you can alt+f4 to get a gf too?
    should try, especially the people questioning this guy's advice. it works every time for me.
  13. This has gotten too extreme for me
  14. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Logically chaotic and twice as charming

    How to get a girlf(r)iend: Summon Satan and ask him to give you one.

    Question is, I am not sure if I want a girlf(r)iend if I have to give up my soul, if it exist.. :p
  15. msgrandpabacon

    msgrandpabacon Active Member

    Mandragoras, estiniens and Yakamaru like this.
  16. lajm

    lajm family guy funny moments

    you asshile it's not working
  17. Yvvki

    Yvvki Sassy lesser panda.

    How to get a Boyfriend.

    Step 1. Don't try to impress them. This can seriously stress you out and during the long run and they will notice you're fake.

    Step 2. Be yourself. Even if they have stupid high standards on what they want, don't try to meet them. Over time they will realize that a genuine person is better then their ideal person. People don't even know what they want and men are no exception. ☆

    Step 3. Give men space. Most men are use to being alone or with friends every once in a while. They will run out of sanity if you start a relationship then stick to their leg. Some men will lie and say they don't mind but we all know that it stresses them out.

    If you follow these simple steps and still get a breakup then you now know that they were not looking for any relationship to begin with. These kinds of men are called "ass holes" and give a bad name to the rest. To test if someone is not an "ass hole" simply vanish for a week before dating them. If they waited for you then they most likely are not an "ass hole".

    Remember, don't go for the D. (Bf said that haha)
    Rykhoteth and Yakamaru like this.
  18. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    Why do all that effort for heresy when you can just perform heresy on your own?

  19. Yvvki

    Yvvki Sassy lesser panda.

    3 words.

    People are stupid.
    Yakamaru likes this.
  20. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    It's okay! Heresy is indiscriminate
  21. Yvvki

    Yvvki Sassy lesser panda.

    So are "people"
  22. Rykhoteth


    Not exclusive to men, but really good advice in general.

    Shit-Testing right off the bat, or do you mean in an "established" relationship where one week isn't much out of the whole? It's an asshole thing to try and establish your time as more valuable right at the start. Early on, eg after the second date they start ignoring all communications for a week... well, if the guy checks with contacts to make sure you're OK, congratulations they passed your shit-test but they will conclude the other possibility: "Vanishing" is one of the more popular breakup methods for women, and he will probably go right back into the dating pool. I've always considered shit-testing immature and sometimes a red-flag. If you meant in an established relationship then yeah a guy who immediately starts trying to date someone else the second he thought maybe you lost interest probably isn't the best person.

    This is the most double edged sword of personal advice. Some people really do need to change for the better, while others don't need to stress about minor flaws, and there's grey inbetween.
    "Over time" is right though. People have these weird conceptions about relationships before getting "broken-in" by a few and adulthood. The crazier people who don't change and those who mask it made people with relatable flaws more attractive and I've been left with this deepseated mistrust of people who are metaphorically "too clean" since there are far more people overcompensating for skeletons in the closet than there are actually ideal persons.
  23. Yvvki

    Yvvki Sassy lesser panda.

    Look here you robot fiend. If someone is going to find a new gf in a week that you're away, then they didn't really like you. They might have been attracted to you, but that fades quickly in relationships.

    Also the people who do need to change for the better will find people that will like them regardless. You can be an asshole and find another asshole and be perfect for each other. All I was stating is that it's hard to expect someone to like you if you are playing pretend.
  24. Rykhoteth


    Context? If it's the first couple dates and then you cut all communication, yeah that could backfire. If you just met but are "away" for a week but he can't wait and starts lining up new dates, or you've actually been together for a bit and he reactivates his dating profile as soon as you vanish from the face of the earth for a week, then yes absolutely he had no long term interests in you or is the kind of person you don't want to be with.

    Oh yes, it's technically true. It's just one of those things certain people hide behind.
    Yvvki likes this.
  25. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    Robot man, you could avoid all this confusion if you committed your heresy alone!
    Rykhoteth likes this.

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