How the hell do I stop obsessing over other people?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by KurtCobain, May 4, 2017.

  1. KurtCobain

    KurtCobain Soviet

    I'm not one of those major stalkers who watches a person's every activity, I just mean I get obsessed with people sometimes, and I'll contact them scarcely if they tell me to go away, and all the time for a few months if they don't.
    I only get obsessed with people with great (or absolutely fucking horrible) personalities who have extremely cute fursonas (or no fursona at all if their personality is extreme enough), that I can almost connect to, or are very, very attractive to me in other means, which isn't an easy feat.
    Since I mostly only get obsessed with furries, I felt this was a bit more relevant for this forum rather than the general one.
    It's kinda creepy and I've gotten over unconsensual stalking (except I still think about people unconsensually sometimes), but I still feel that idolization is kinda unhealthy, or do people just want me to feel that way? :/
    I just want to make people really happy but idk how, and I always end up bothering people instead, or they're fine with me but still aren't that happy.
    I mature slowly, so idk.
  2. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru I stubbed my log on a car!

    Try and take a step back, and look at what is going on. Try and analyze what is going on, and try to find the reason, or reasons if applicable, for why you act, behave and/or think this way. Obsessing over things can easily become unhealthy. In your case, more so for you than the one(s) you're obsessing, from the looks of it.

    The human psyche is.. Unique, as vast as an ocean and just as deep. Unique in the ways it deals with everything from pain to being infatuated with someone.

    I am not sure how you're going to solve this obsessive mentality of yours, but sometimes, you need to look down to see where you are heading, instead of looking towards the horizon.

    Do you think you could go into some more details, if possible? If you have to name names, you can use a substitute. Will probably have to see more about the individual cases.

    Oh, and before someone else asks: Have you considered looking into talking with a therapist about this?
    Ravofox likes this.
  3. Lcs

    Lcs Well-Known Member

    If your self-described obsession is just about talking to people a lot, then I don't think that's really a problem, but rather that's just called being social. I can't say much about the idolisation thing because it's hard to tell what extent you idolise others from your post, though if it's just about having respect for people you like, then once again, I don't think there's a problem.

    Ultimately though, you're the only one who knows you, so if you think this is unhealthy, then fix your behaviour.
    Ravofox likes this.
  4. Royn

    Royn Otterest Sergal evah!

    On a full moon night when the moon is at its highest, go outside completely nude, stand facing east, stretch your arms and hands straight up like a ref signaling a field goal, and chant the following as fast as you can speak for 30 seconds, while staring at the moon. "Beaglebeaglebeaglebeaglebeagle...!" If you can do it for the full 30 seconds without cracking up laughing at yourself, youll be cured.
  5. quoting_mungo

    quoting_mungo Administrator Staff Member

    Learn to redirect. Basically, establish a few acceptable go-to activities that you can pour your energy into when you feel yourself getting too focused on a person. It can be anything, but ideally something that physically takes you away from whatever medium you use to contact the object of your obsession. Go take a walk around the block, do dishes, vaccuum your house, whatever. Making it things that are also good for you or your habitat means you also get the bonus of telling yourself "good job, me!" when you're done, which should make redirecting easier in the future.
  6. Mr. Fox

    Mr. Fox Well-Known Member

    You can redirect that obsession towards me if you want, I might find it flattering.
  7. Rykhoteth


    Sounds like mania, or the overlap with obsession related disorders. Pretty broad. I was going to suggest it's youth, but at 32 probably not. Being starved of social interaction for four years in University for a bit I did have a kind of social mania I think.
    dozenfish likes this.
  8. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    Until you mouthbreathe into a phone talking about how pretty she looks from where you can see her, you can't ever call yourself a stalker
  9. Zipline

    Zipline Noodle Fish

    that sounds more fun than a problem. It is good to have goals, even if they involve restraining orders.
  10. Maximor_Bloodpanda

    Maximor_Bloodpanda The True Anti-Conformist

    Getting a life helps, so you won't be stalking other people's "oh so important" lives.
  11. Ian Duchesne

    Ian Duchesne Stubborn cigarettes addict

    Me too tend to over analyze folks , I'm also a very curious and nosy person which doesn't really help the cause , I can't say I'm stalking people but I do ask a lot of questions that sometime gets a bit obsessive. I can't help myself either , but as long it's not over the top I'm pretty sure it's not unhealthy , If you do end up having pictures that you've snagged hanged on your walls with every little details you've picked on noted in a book , then it's a whole new story .. I'm guilty of taking notes about one guy who's sole purpose was to annoy me back in highschool , I've noticed how on every Monday he had the same socks and shirt among other insignificant things for some , but somewhat crucial for me , he also had a quirk of fiddling with his keys when he was nervous and tended to tap his foot on a wall when I was confronting him. I sometime wonders what he's up to now :I

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