Is this an interesting setting for stories?

Discussion in 'Tutorials and Critiques' started by Prostapheresys, Jul 9, 2016.

  1. Prostapheresys

    Prostapheresys Novice writer

    So I'd like to write stories on FA but since I'm a beginner I thought to write about the lore and setting of my stories first in order to clear my ideas too, rather than straight out write my first story.
    Basically things revolve around two rivaling groups that both work for the social integration between humans and furs/mythological creatures but in very different and harsh ways: The Avalon Agency and The Golgothians.
    What do you think? Is this a nice setting? Did I correctly convey the backstory and motivations of each group or did I leave too much mystery? Would you read stories about the characters living among these groups? (Is my English good enough since it isn't my native language?)
  2. Togo57

    Togo57 New Member

    It sounds interesting and you have a peculiar, if slightly annoying, writing style. However, it seems that both sides don't mix that well when it comes to genres (with the Golgothians fitting more in a spy/thriller/noir setting, and the Agency being more at ease in SOL or adventure-ish stories).

    I'd definitely give them a try.
  3. Sergei Nóhomo

    Sergei Nóhomo Spicey Memes

    Your punctuation game not stronk enough. Lrn semicolons pls
  4. Prostapheresys

    Prostapheresys Novice writer

    Thanks, I almost thought this thread was about to get forgotten... for improvement, may I ask in which way did you find the writing slightly annoying?
  5. reptile logic

    reptile logic An imposter among aliens.

    That is an interesting introduction to your work. I'm curious to see your narrative style. Move forward with this, and good luck.
  6. Prostapheresys

    Prostapheresys Novice writer

    Thank you!
  7. Togo57

    Togo57 New Member

    The whole "classified information" was quite interesting both when taking into account the censorship it has, which makes a lot of sense in context, and how you treated both lores as digital files along with some of the issues they could have in the real world.

    Nonetheless, it made them a chore to read. Garbled text, unnecessary headers, and text format clearly showed when to skip text and encouraged to do so.
  8. Prostapheresys

    Prostapheresys Novice writer

    Mmmh I see... hopefully I don't plan to ALWAYS write in that format ;)
  9. Prostapheresys

    Prostapheresys Novice writer

    To anyone still interested: I recently revised those two texts in an attempt to improve the reading before submitting my first story (which should happen very soon) set in that universe. It's basically the same stuff in content, but now with some corrections and better format. Thanks and have a nice day!

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