Is This Idea So Bad...?

Discussion in 'Writing and Prose' started by Grimm Hund, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. Grimm Hund

    Grimm Hund Active Member

    I don't believe so, quite the contrary. There's just something I know I'm missing that would be a huge problem.

    The idea is that a female character and her love interest have just physically bonded. Thorough the story, it's a whole misdirection case to make the readers think she's pregnant while she's not.

    Perhaps if the scenario was reversed? The male in the relationship is unordinary and when his mate isn't feeling well, he worries that he hurt her? Instead, she's actually pregnant and healthy.
  2. ellaerna

    ellaerna Sass Master

    I don't think the idea is that bad, it's just been done before.
    Hetero relationship dramas like to center on pregnancy since it's one of the big concerns of sexual relationships. It can be problematic when your story strays into one of two directions.
    1) It becomes an abstinence PSA about how horrible pregnancy is and it's so scary and don't ever have sex. This particularly happens a lot when the couple in the story is of a young age as well. They have sex for the first time, then they both start freaking out about "oh no, my period was late! my life is over!!!"
    2) it makes a "gotcha" plot line out of real life tragedy. Miscarriages and false positives can be heart breaking for people who were actually hoping to be pregnant, so you have to be careful when you try to string along both your readers and your characters. Making the couple happily pregnant and then going "psych!" can be really tasteless if not done well.

    The reverse scenario might not be too bad, but you'd have to think about why she's not telling him she's pregnant (eg she doesn't know herself, she's worried he'll leave, it was a one night stand and she doesn't know who the actual father is, etc) and how they'd both feel after the reveal. Is this just something you're playing with for shock value, or is there something bigger you'd like to convey?

    Hope that helps!
    Frostbyte The Shark likes this.
  3. Grimm Hund

    Grimm Hund Active Member

    I was writing a reply and found myself writing a huge and nonsensical mess. The only way I see the plot involving pregnancy is if they both are hoping they are having kids and she actually does. The problem is that I personally don't see my characters immediately starting a family. For context, they are only engaged, a few months into their relationship. For clarification, the male in the relationship is... kind of cyborgish?

    Think of this: They bluntly discuss how neither of them are ready for kids and move on. The people around them actually tease them, kinda poking fun at the cliche since the sex was unprotected and all that. In reality, she's not pregnant, but secretly turned into a cyborg like he is? They're none the wiser and neither of them notice anything.

    Or nothing happens at all?

    The initial thought was she would have a fake death but having been turned cyber and able to heal. She can now fight with her man against some antagonist and win the day. So on and so forth. Also, I wanted something to create a sexual tension between them so they finally have sex for the first time. A cheap excuse would be to use her heat, since shes a furry, but that implies pregnancy. I bet I can write a better way.
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2017
  4. ellaerna

    ellaerna Sass Master

    I'm very confused and oddly intrigued by how one would turn into a cyborg from having sex with one. Nanobots in their bodily fluids maybe? I don't know.

    Anyway, forgive me if I'm misreading this (I've been in a bit of a brainfog all day) but it sounds like you really don't want or need pregnancy in your story at all. Sure, you might have a few people going "were you not concerned about making a baby???" when they hear about the sex, but other than that there's no real need to have any mention of pregnancy- real or otherwise. It doesn't move the story along and it's not important to your characters at this point in their lives.

    As a woman, please do not make her being in heat the reason they bone. It is incredibly cheap and cheapens the relationship between them. It sounds like they're already in a pretty serious relationship (being engaged and all) so you shouldn't have to make excuses for them to be attracted to each other enough to have sex. And when they do, you can easily avoid pregnancy with any number of things. Maybe they used contraception. Maybe cyborgs are actually sterile. Maybe she's infertile. Maybe she just wasn't ovulating that day. Hell, even if she was in heat, any of these things could still stand true except for maybe the infertile thing. I don't know how that would affect furry libido.

    Anyway, again, I hope this helps. Let me know if I'm completely missing all of the points.
  5. lajm

    lajm family guy funny moments

    if you do the reversed scenario then at the end of the pregnancy, please make this but with furries

    jokes aside the idea is just alright. Kind of overplayed imo, but still not that bad
  6. Pipistrele

    Pipistrele Smart batto!

    In right hands and fitting setting, it can be a good idea. However, it sounds like a huge pain in the ass to implement properly - it easy to make the whole premise seem too convoluted, contrived, or just make characters look like idiots. So yeah, if you don't have enough confidence and writing skill to pull it off well, it is an awful idea.
  7. Grimm Hund

    Grimm Hund Active Member

    Trust me, I wouldn't want to offend anyone. I'm male and the last thing would be to write a female character like that.

    Let's clarify things. The act of sex wouldn't turn her into a cyborg. During the sex, he would actually mark her with a love-bite and he would inadvertently pass on his nanotechnology to her through the bite. Just in case you were curious~

    Yeah, the pregnancy isn't a big part of the story. I have a main plot and as I see the characters now, they aren't ready for kids.

    As for their relationship, it's very strong. A little insight as I wrote her: She works as a medium and as her job, she reads body language. So when she can read the way a tail wags or the way ears move better than anyone. She actually takes the lead in their relationship. She's the one bold enough to introducing him to rave music and coffee (he's old-fashioned) and yet she's the virgin. They have slept in the same bed cuddling one another.

    It doesn't have to be her heat. Maybe she can start thinking of him sexually but be a bit nervous to make the first move? There has to a clever way to do it. Maybe since he's old fashioned, he believes that sex comes after marriage and she is willing to convince him that sex can happen whenever a couple is ready?
  8. Grimm Hund

    Grimm Hund Active Member

    At the end of the reverse scene, she's pregnant and not wounded or being turned into a cyborg.
  9. ellaerna

    ellaerna Sass Master

    She could definitely be making the first move! You could even do a thing where he wants to, but since he's old fashioned he is repressing his desires and she picks up on that with her body language reading and all. Maybe she misinterprets it at first, for a cute little misunderstanding moment, and eventually persuades him to stop being a stick in the mud.
  10. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

  11. Grimm Hund

    Grimm Hund Active Member

    I'm gonna just continue the idea and build onto it because I like reading it over and over in my head. Here's the scene: It's his first day at his new job and he nailed it. She arrived as a surprise to give him moral support. His coworkers tease him about living with a girl he hasn't nailed yet. He gets interested but he holds back, letting her take the lead. She can sense his lust and desire and the moment is so passionate when he takes her.

    What would be a great way to spark his desire for her?

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