ITT: Poorly describe your current job

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by MadKiyo, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. pandymeez

    pandymeez the smol dragoo

    Watch the children, police the children, clean the crap they leave.
  2. LupusFamilia

    LupusFamilia Guest

    SO you're also a IT maintenancer?
    Cool, i always wanted to make a placement with this :3

    My job could be easiest been explained with:
    Curving printers around.
  3. LupusFamilia

    LupusFamilia Guest

    Curving printers around.
  4. racoondevil

    racoondevil Minogue be my furname, hello!

    Jamming together parts, thrusting them into a box and shipping them out to be hammered into your car by an overpriced car dealership.
  5. Rant

    Rant Haters Gonna Hate

    I adult for adults who adulted for too long.
    XD go on, guess.
    pandymeez likes this.
  6. DeathMetalDeer

    DeathMetalDeer Cervine Master Race....

    Maintaining raspberries because they are too lazy to maintain themselves. More specific: rolling up lots of plastic for reasons.
  7. DrExodium

    DrExodium Guest

    Hearing a person and doing shit and go to the nest place t do the same shit with retards.
  8. JumboWumbo

    JumboWumbo Banned in two states.

  9. FluffyShutterbug

    FluffyShutterbug A Foxy Femboy Photographer

    Well... I'm an unemployed college student. But, I take photos for an animal shelter for their site. I don't get paid, but... I consider it a semi-job.
  10. FluffyShutterbug

    FluffyShutterbug A Foxy Femboy Photographer

    Oh, wait. Poorly? Um, how about an unemployed photographer? :D
  11. Royn

    Royn Otterest Sergal evah!

    Work in a refrigerator with two walk in refrigerators and a walk in freezer in it.
  12. MadKiyo

    MadKiyo Villainous Fly

    Sounds cold
  13. Tezzy Fur

    Tezzy Fur Active Member

    Im not working at the moment, just moved back from Australia and taking some time out to get fit before going back to work. I did used to work in an adult bookstore though when I was 19 and barely experienced myself. I'll write about it another time but I will say two things, one: I sold more vibratory than any other member of staff member. two: you haven't lived until you've had game of Thrones style sword fight with two 14 inch dildo.
    Simo likes this.
  14. Shane McNair

    Shane McNair Adrenaline addicted Arwing pilot

    I like business…uhhhh…transactions? And…adult stuff. I went to the stock market today. I did a business.

    But there’s more to being an adult than work and business and the tall person rides at Disneyland, right?
  15. Dongding

    Dongding The sheep

    Making the goo go away while dressed in rubber.
  16. Royn

    Royn Otterest Sergal evah!

    Its a really very cool job.
  17. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    I help support and improve the lives of patients who have Abusethemedicalattendant-itis

    I would ask for someone to please kill me but I am already dead <3 it's a great job.
  18. PoptartPresident

    PoptartPresident A teen chatter box

    "Does anyone else here speak ____?? No?! Damn."
    "Why is it always coke that's spilt??"
    "Hi! Welcome to _____ what would you like to eat today?" *grits teeth*
    "Why the f**k are all 12 of you guys playing a magic board game INSIDE the establishment!??"
    "Agh sh**!!! *Rubs hand from grease burn*
    "I was supposed to be paid last week. Why haven't I received my check yet?"
    "I think I just felt my sweat reach my heel"
    "Can I go on lunch break yet?" *No response*
    "This ain't McDonald's ma'm/sir"
    "Yes, our cash register is indeed capable of doing simple math"
    *Impersonates boss while they're away since we're not busy*

    And then you have Customers:
    "Five second rule!" *Licks the floor*
    *picks nose*
    *Spits on floor*
    "SO THE OTHER DAY I _____"
    "My burger doesn't have ______ on it"
    "Refills are free right?" *Looks at the FREE REFILLS sign above the soda machine intently, then looks back at me*
    *Baby crying loudly*
    "Can you give me dollars in change?" *Hands me a gigantic jar of coins*
    Me: what would you like to eat today?
    Customer: *Talks at 100 mph* "Yes can I have a ____ with ______ and ____ oh wait scratch _____ can I replace _____ with ____ and my husband wants a _____ no ____ extra_____, _____, ____, ____, and no ____ on that extra _____"

    And one of my personal favorites:
    *Old lady walks up to me*
    "I'd like to speak to your manager!"
    "Oh no! I'm so sorry for whatever we did. Can I possibly fix it for you?"
    "Don't give me that bulls**t I want to speak to the manager!!"
    "Uuuh okay." Knocks on managers door*
    *Manager comes out with phone and paper work in their hands*
    "What's the matter ma'm?"
    "I didn't get enough fries in this fry container!"


    Quite the contrary though, I really enjoy my job. I've created some of my funniest experiences and memories there.
  19. Alstren

    Alstren Nerd Bird

    People hand me hieroglyphics and I give them drugs.
    ChapterAquila92 likes this.
  20. biscuitfister

    biscuitfister Anyone want thier biscuit fisted?

    I make sure aircraft dont explode onto each other like age restricted content
    ChapterAquila92 likes this.
  21. ChapterAquila92

    ChapterAquila92 Resident Bronze Dragon Kasrkin

    I cry out, "let there be light," and it is made so. I also wield lightning.
    juiceboxbunny likes this.
  22. juiceboxbunny

    juiceboxbunny Im a foodie-fur not a Vore-fur

    Boss: "Stand here for 9 hours and make sure this doesnt get up and walk away."
    Me: "....kay."
    ChapterAquila92 likes this.
  23. Schrodinger's shop where my business is both alive and dead. I fold clothes for eternity.
  24. Rykhoteth


    I partially automate my work with some scripts the boss and/or my replacements will never know about.
    Then I filter caffeine out of water for the last couple of hours.
    ChapterAquila92 likes this.
  25. Surreal Mentality

    Surreal Mentality Subaru goes BWAAAAPSSSSHHHHH

    Paperwork, power tools and finding low tech solutions to expensive problems.

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