Make your favorite game sound as shit as possible

Discussion in 'PC and Console Gaming' started by Yakamaru, Nov 2, 2016.

  1. MrFranco

    MrFranco 550 polygons

    You control a fuckton of little men that carry oversized machine pieces, fight against giant monsters or weird shits, and get overwhelmed by being attacked while trying to save your dependent, mindless army, and also see how they're dying by very specific hazards that are next to these monsters. Oh, did I mention there's time limit for the whole game?
     
  2. Alex K

    Alex K Guest

    You play as a Hispanic plumber who jumps boxes and stomps on brown men and turtles to kill them. All to save a princess that should've been Queen ages ago
     
  3. Mario be damned
     
  4. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru Logically chaotic and twice as charming

    Mario is Italian. Not Hispanic.
     
  5. Alex K

    Alex K Guest

    Well technically he has a mustache and says potato a lot
     
  6. Abyssalrider

    Abyssalrider The Autistic Otter

    Pikmin
     
  7. nerdbat

    nerdbat Green butt of reason

    JoJo meets high school drama
     
  8. nerdbat

    nerdbat Green butt of reason

    (I just realised I accidentaly made it sound cooler .з. )
     
  9. Khazius

    Khazius The Fruit Bat

    You break out of prison to murder and steal your way into killing overgrown lizards.
     
  10. Diretooth

    Diretooth Dire Wolf and Dragon Therianthrope

    Game 1: Procedurally generated two-dimensional minecraft clone.

    Game 2: Game saved from developmental hell, has a badly told story, a character nobody knows dies and it's apparently a big deal, and there's cup noodles everywhere.

    Game 3: You are a space marine, the graphics are shit and the engine very limited. Later versions of the same game are easier.

    Game 4: Roguelike game made up of ASCII characters that's bigger than dicks and confusing as fuck. Still in development.

    Game 5: You're a kid with psychic powers, you walk the earth looking for a song so you can go back in time and abort the big bad.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2017
    Sarachaga likes this.
  11. Sarachaga

    Sarachaga Fromage!

    Is it Terraria ?
    (There's actually so many minecraft clones that this can fit to a lot of games )
     
  12. Diretooth

    Diretooth Dire Wolf and Dragon Therianthrope

    Yeah, it's Terraria. If It had been Starbound, I would have added, 'Laggy as all hell.'
     
  13. LittleWoodlouse

    LittleWoodlouse New Member

    You get turned into a kinda anthropomorphic animal and lose your memories during a storm and get discovered by another animal. This second animal, a complete stranger tries to recruit you into their non-existent team to join an exploration guild. The guild IDs you by your footprint. It's surprisingly effective for everyone but you.

    You and your partner spend the majority of the game wandering around the same enclosed spaces doing missions with slight variation, the guild takes 90% of your income for doing these quests. A lot of the areas you do quests in are full of traps, the game tells you you can check for traps, but really there's no way of knowing where they'll be. If you try to steal from a shop keeper, he will obliterate you.

    As the game progresses you begin to have very conditional future visions, time freezes in specific areas, you're betrayed by a celebrity, your enemy turns out to be your best friend, you're both from the future, you go to the future, you go back to the past, your old best friend sacrifices himself, you try to stop time from freezing by fighting the Time God, and get erased from existence. Your partner's tears somehow bring you back.

    In the following weeks the two of you get attacked by your guild, move onto a house on the edge of a cliff, climb a mountain, adopt a child, and recruit gods onto your team. I don't really remember what happens at the end of the game but I think it turned out that some dickbag was responsible for the events of the whole game and was still trying to kill you for some reason.
     
  14. Abyssalrider

    Abyssalrider The Autistic Otter

    Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness/Time/Sky, great game.
     
  15. TheOneRealPotato

    TheOneRealPotato Professional potato in disguise

    Mess with physics incorrectly, you'll crash. Mess with them correctly, you get insane G forces.
     
  16. Aces

    Aces Member

    This game has terrible balance issues. I've restarted over thirty times now.

    No, I'm not going to kill a stray puppy! "What's the worst that can happen?"

    Three minutes later, my character was a writhing lump at the base of the dungeon stairs- three of my limbs were in a heap, the fourth was in a different room, and I was bleeding everywhere. I got so desperate that I prayed to the Destroyer of Worlds.

    He wasn't exactly pleased. (not that he was my first choice- after I lost the first arm, I reached out to the only other God I knew. He gave me a banana.)

    Somehow, I survived being smited by the Lord of Chaos, only to have that same little puppy from before finally end my misery by utterly eviscerating my groin.
     
  17. Karatine

    Karatine cat

    3. Halo: Combat Evolved???

    4. It's gotta be Dwarf Fortress
     
  18. Diretooth

    Diretooth Dire Wolf and Dragon Therianthrope

    Nope, think earlier.
     
  19. Rystren

    Rystren Call me FLUuFFFFEH

    You're time will be wasted in a single three day three night session of sending a seemingly endless amounts of ships halfway across the galaxy in attempts to destroy your rival empire only for each and every fleet to be decimated as he steadily marches toward your worlds.

    Assuming you survive the brutal pirate attacks long enough to boost your economy.
     
  20. Draig Calon

    Draig Calon Alpha Wolf/Dragon

    Game 1:
    Run around with guns trying to kill the enemy team or plant a bomb that apparently kills people but doesn't destroy any of the land around it. Also you have one bomb so if that one gets defused there is no way to re-activate it or plant another one. Also you end up dying in the first ten seconds as some guy shoots you in the face with a high powered sniper rifle through two walls when he had no way of knowing you where there (without his obvious wall hacks on).

    Game 2:
    Stranded on a planet made of water with one island and a huge land mass held up by random big floaty things on the bottom. Massive ship that got destroyed when you crashed on it. Big giant sea creatures who will try to kill you, and will succeed in one or two hits if you are not in your submarine/robot suit thingy. Also when help comes it gets destroyed by the same big gun that shot you down and you have to run all over the place and meet the biggest monster of them all to turn off the gun then make your own ship to escape. Cause fuck those guys who go out of their way to rescue you, who needs them anyways?

    Game 3:
    You have to ignore the title of the game entirely to complete all except for one ending, and you have to a bunch of random shit to get the others, all of which are completely against what the name of the game and the only other character on the game tell you to do. Also most of the endings lead to the destruction of the world (which is just a city on a monitor in front of you).

    Game 4:
    A game where you can control the universe and make the universe you just spent hours creating destroy itself in a matter of seconds. At least for you. Also in this game you make worlds collide, literally as you can create several earths and then wait for 5 minutes for them to hit each other just for a few cheap animations. Also watch the world get obliterated by a basketball that was dropped from outer space.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2017
  21. Maximor_Bloodpanda

    Maximor_Bloodpanda The True Anti-Conformist

    The game I want to talk about is a sandbox game that has lots of potential, but fails to deliver. It has single and online modes. The single player mode has you take control of a self-loathing rich asshole, a generic shallow gangbanger, and a psychotic canadian motherfucker. Online mode sets you up with your own custom character and plenty of overpriced customization options for them. You can spend a million dollars to buy a car, then a million more to upgrade it so you can spend even more money to modify it. You can also buy a lot of guns that you don't use because the RPG is a one hit kill. But why use guns when you can spend all your money on a jet, and continuously rain missiles and explosive gunfire on other players until you get kicked? Or be on the receiving end of jet fire that you can do nothing about. You can do jobs and things to earn your virtual currency, or you can buy it with real life money like everyone else, and not risk getting totally fucked while trying to earn something. You can also piss off other players by using game features, like setting a proximity mine in a tunnel where some asshole with an RPG is chasing you (and blow up his armored car and him when he comes for round 2), and disable the ability to damage and be damaged by other players within milliseconds of them trying to crash a plane into you. You can go and do bigger missions where you can earn more money than the usual jobs, but who ever knows how it ends? Every pussy ass bitch walks out on you if they don't get to be a part of the ground team, or if anyone in the team fails just once. The game's core mechanics are also just as wonderful, such as NPCs being able to drop you with a pistol from a mile away while you are in a fast moving car and they are too. The game also teases you with gore in a cutscene with a brutal headshot, but the actual game just features no gore, just tiny bullshit bullet holes with terrible effects. Don't get me started on the physics system, might as well be set on the fucking moon. You fall and slide down a hill for 15 feet, you die. You hit a tiny stupid object on the side of the road, you spin out or go flying. You hide behind cover, an RPG can still get you. The gun sound effects are absolute shit, especially compared to the ones used in the cutscenes. The cops in the game are fucking Orwellian oppressors who know exactly what you are doing, and know where to find you, and are just as stupid as most real cops. Aside from slaughtering NPCs like animals, playing repetitive missions, throwing your money away (virtual, but real cash can be spent by absolute morons), dying for the stupidest reason, flooring a squeaker and making them cry moments after they try to shoot you, and just wasting your day, there is not much to do.
     
  22. Draig Calon

    Draig Calon Alpha Wolf/Dragon

    sounds like you have a lot of hate towards GTA5... good job :)
     
  23. KimberVaile

    KimberVaile Edgy teenage apathy.

    Drive cars in stereotypical, generic environments until everybody's dead except you.
     
  24. ariamis

    ariamis i like killing people and long walks on the beach.

    oops look like i died again. (dark souls)
     
  25. estiniens

    estiniens stargazer

    i draw the sun. it solves your problems. you thank me. i am a dog. for some reason that doesn't stop you.
    you give me medicine. i bring it to a dying man. his daughter thanks me. i am a dog.
    a man dances for trees. i wag my tail. flowers happen. he thanks me. i am a dog.
     
    Yvvki, Rystren and Bidoyinn like this.

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