Need advice about girl problem

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by GreenZone, Jul 15, 2017.

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  1. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member

    i was just looking for people's advice

    i have a couple girls chasing me at the moment but i'm just not really that interested because no ones striked me on a deeper level than just physical attractiveness particularly i can't hold a conversation with them so to me it looks like they're just being shallow

    but my biggest problem has to be this one girl i did want to date her in the past we talked about it but the closest she offered was casual sex citing she felt she was too immature for me to handle and that she worries about me a lot at work and if she fell for me proper she wouldn't be able to handle it however i declined because i don't do FWB

    about two weeks ago she calls me and says she just wanted to hear my voice and she talks about how she knows now what's important in life and everything and that she wasn't talking to anyone because she had to think i'm just thinking "no don't do this to me please" any way she says she really wants to see me (yet i told her multiple times i was out of town for a while) any way i was injured and sent home and she bluntly says she wants to be my girlfriend

    here's where i made two mistakes
    1. i didn't outright say no ive moved on
    2. she flirted and was getting me worked up and let her send... photos

    that's where i ended it and said "look we'll need to talk about it when we catch up next ok?" however she's acting as if i'm hers now she's even doing the cheesy "found my rainbow at the end of the storm" kind of statuses and sending... more photos.... and saying "wish you were at my place" kind of thing (yes ive told her to stop)

    i reallllllly don't know where to go from here i want to put a stop to this but i don't know how to do it gently she's the most happy ive seen her for a while

    any advice?
  2. Scorpen

    Scorpen Literal S.O.B

    The best I can say is to just tell her you are not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her. You don't have to be gentle about anything, just honest. It's probably not what she wants to hear but leading her on isn't going to help matters at all. If you are not interested in a relationship she should be mature enough to understand that and if she isn't is that really the kind of relationship you want to be in? You are not together and you do not have to make yourself miserable at the expense of her. The only person you have to make sure is happy is you.
  3. CrazyDragon

    CrazyDragon Canadian Dragon

    Idk if I would be interested in someone just willing to send nudes before you're even dating, but im old fashioned hahah
    Good luck though, I totally agree with Scorpen on this one.
  4. WolfNightV4X1

    WolfNightV4X1 King of Kawaii; That Token Femboy

    Are you even still interested in her at least a little, or are you just really moved on? I mean if either or is the case it's a matter of ask for your space, or let her down gently.

    If you're a little interested, express that truly, but also push her back a bit and be a little blunt. Outright say and ask for space, you're not sure if you're interested and you may well not be, just take it easy and slow and tell her don't act like we're really going to date.

    If not at all, the whole posts and stuff and her acting happy might kind of suck, probably the only thing to do is to asap officially sit there and have that talk, whether phone or person or whatever, and officially say it, in one sentence "I've moved on and I'm not interested in dating you anymore. I'm sorry". She'll probably be upset and ask why, plead, make demands, tell you how much she cares and you mean to her, bla bla. You probably just have to tolerate all the sappiness, but in the end if you don't like her it's YOUR right, and she has to respect that, if she gets pushy you can say exactly that .

    As for the other girls, a simple "No" will suffice if it comes down to them asking to date or hang out. I'm sure it's normal for people to date people they find attractive and get to know them later but I too cannot do that, so they may not be just shallow but just doing normal dating stuff. If you're even remotely curious about dating them try talking to them more and see what they're like, unless they really are that dull to you, then you already know the answer .
  5. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru 100% faith-based dancing!

    If you are not interested, tell them. It's that simple.

    People sending nudes to random people oughta have their heads checked.
  6. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member

    i'm not ignoring the thread i just wanted peoples inputs its appreciated
    you send me nudes all the time though my furry
    Yakamaru likes this.
  7. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru 100% faith-based dancing!

    I'm sorry, I can't help it. I'm autosexual. :p

    Gotta share my love for myself, yanno. :D
  8. Ninth

    Ninth ✨ Lord Fagquad✨

    Tell her you're strictly dickly. That should solve your problem C:
    Scales42, Dongding and sams740 like this.
  9. Julyne

    Julyne New Member

    Tell her that you are not ready for a relationship at this time
  10. Dongding

    Dongding The sheep

    Ninth likes this.
  11. sunfox

    sunfox New Member

    Iv been in a similar situation and there is no way to walk away without someone getting hurt but it will hurt less if you tell her now that your not interested then if you tell her later on and your going to feel like a horrible person but honesty is cruel and it's going to be a lot better if you do it soner then later because the longer you wait the more attached they will become and the more you will be taking away from them
  12. Austin Silver

    Austin Silver "A high-functioning sociopath."

    Make her cry.
    Dongding likes this.
  13. Austin Silver

    Austin Silver "A high-functioning sociopath."

    No, DONT DO THAT!! I don't know what I was thinking. Sorry. I try to be sensitive to other people's emotions as much as possible. Just let her know how you feel. "Hey, I know I haven't really gotten a chance to talk to you, but I don't think things will work out between us. I think you're a wonderful person and I'm sure there is someone out there who will appreciate you much more. I cannot be that person right now." Rather than, "F--- you go away."
  14. Pyronetica

    Pyronetica New Member

    At the end of the day, you are your own person and you do not have to stay with her or date her. You're not obligated to do it even if she has feelings for you.
    It'd probably be a good idea to end it before it gets worse, and to make it not seem like you were leading her on.
    I personally would say it gently, like "I'm not interested in dating you anymore, I'm sorry." or something along those lines that you deem fit; but if the need arises to be more harsh, you'll just have to go for it for everyone's sake. Yes, feelings may be hurt, but it is your right to be independent and to not be with her anymore. In the end, everyone will be happier.

    With the nudes, be careful. Laws in many countries in the world state anyone who has, sends or shares others' nudes can be convicted. A national overview for the US states, quote, "
    • A teenager who takes a naked picture of themselves and sends it to another teen, has technically committed 3 felony crimes.
    • They could be charged with promoting, distributing and possessing child pornography and if convicted, could face real jail time."
    Delete all records of the pictures if possible, and let absolutely nobody else see them.

    Whatever you do, best of luck, and I hope it works out.
  15. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member

    wot? i'm 25 and she's 23 we're not going to get convicted

    any way dis old now essentially she fell back into her old ways despite saying she was mature and giving me heart felt speeches about how she wanted to be with me and i gave in and said ok lets give dating a try and that's when she said she was seeing some one reinforcing my distrust of Women in general that might seem fucked but ive been hurt a lot

    thanks for your input any way
  16. WolfNightV4X1

    WolfNightV4X1 King of Kawaii; That Token Femboy

    Yeah no please don't do that, that's a bad idea no matter what the group subject is

    Emotional pain does suck but you just gotta keep an open mind about individual people in life, my dude
  17. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member

    no i mean i'm not going to go around being sexist just cause ive been hurt i mean im wary of females who show interest in me
  18. WolfNightV4X1

    WolfNightV4X1 King of Kawaii; That Token Femboy

    Blah okay fair enough I over read into that because something something sexism is evil or whatever

    Carry on with life, sorry bout your feels
  19. Maria Harris

    Maria Harris New Member

    If you are not interested then you can simply tell her.
  20. Troj

    Troj Well-Known Member

    Oh, fuuuuuuuu

    This is always a hard one. (That's what she said!) You don't want to be mean, callous, or rude, but you also know in your heart and your mind that you're Just Not Into Them, but you don't know how to let them down gently.

    But, think of it this way: the sooner you tell her--gently, but honestly--that you aren't interested in a relationship with her, the sooner she will be freed up to move on and hopefully find someone who will be interested in her. She may be disappointed, but those wounds will heal.

    I always think Captain Awkward provides good scripts for these kinds of hard conversations:
  21. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member

    the following isn't a crack at you

    @quoting_mungo can you close the thread plz bruh

    the thing was settled probably about 2 months ago but no ones reading the thread
    Troj likes this.
  22. Austin Silver

    Austin Silver "A high-functioning sociopath."

    I'm reading...
  23. quoting_mungo

    quoting_mungo Administrator Staff Member

    Closing thread at OP's request.
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