Terrible Awful No Good Roommate

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mechanicalrain, Feb 9, 2017.


Have you ever had to evict a bad roommate?

  1. Yes

  2. No

  1. Ugh
    So straight up, this is just a thread to vent the woes of having bad roommates.

    Rant Ahoy!

    Context; I bought a house with my partner of 12 years. We've been friends since High school, never had any trouble. Our house has two spare bedrooms, so we rented them out to two other friends- also met in highschool.

    One of them is great. She does her chores, pays rent, hangs out with us, super friendly, always does her best.

    The other is a selfish, ungrateful tool.

    He doesn't work anymore (quit his job after 2 weeks because who knows why), so we asked him to clean the kitchen a couple times a week and manage the dishes and yard to compensate for him not paying for his room. Not only does he never do any of that, but whenever I confront him about it, he just gives a vague 'oh sorry' and still won't do it until I remind him another ten times. We can't ask him to even watch the pets for an hour while we run to the store, or to refill the cat's' water dish while we're out for the day, because he won't, and we'll come home to 'oh sorry I forgot' and a mess with dehydrated animals.

    He sits on the bed we bought for him, playing on his computer, all day every day. Never leaves the house, never leaves his room (which he's filled with so much trash it's attracting mice, and now I have to de-worm the cats every month because who knows what the mice are carrying)... and in fact has been sitting in the same place for so long he's rubbed a huge, greasy, person shaped hole in the paint of the wall, and his muscles have atrophied to the point where he can't be upright more than ten minutes without complaining of back pain. This dude is an adult, around our age (25 ish), and we have to treat him like we're his parents. My partner and I work from home, 9-5 jobs... the other roommate works outside of the home, 9-5... but this Tool roommate does absolutely nothing. Like if he did any LESS he'd probably slip into a coma.

    I've been sleeping in the living room for a week because we just got a rescue dog and he's too scared to attempt the stairs to my room yet, and this roommate sleeps in until 5 pm every day, comes out of his room between 2-4 am, and starts clattering around in the kitchen making food, running the dryer, etc... even though I've asked him not to many times. I just get the same 'oh....sorry', and he does it again the next day. He pulled the same the last time I had to sleep in the living room for a month, because I was recovering from intensive surgery and couldn't go up to my room yet... same thing... noise, clattering, cooking at 4 am. He has zero respect for my partner, who's been letting him live here for free for six months... no respect for me or the miniscule things I ask him to do in contribution to the house, and no respect for himself. Supposedly he's trying to get money from Disability, but a Judge won't approve it until he does x, y, z things, which are all therapy appointments he keeps 'missing' and not rescheduling, and phone calls he won't make because he 'forgot', and forms he wont fill out because he lost them in his garbage heap of a room. We're not holding our breaths on that one.

    We're evicting him of course, he has until the end of the month to get out (then we're turning his room into a cat playroom)... but every day he drives me closer and closer to blowing a fuse and screaming at him. My partner has had it too... she and I end up discussing him and his selfishness until late in the night, but she's much more patient and mild tempered than I am, so it's much more likely I'll be the one that ends up 'losing' my shoe up his behind. I've been so stressed that the already meager amount of sleep I get each night with my PTSD is dwindling, and I'm tired, restless, and cranky throughout the day. I just want this dude to be an adult, contribute to the house, accept the fact that we all have problems and stop being a manchild. We let him move in so he'd have a safe place to transition on T and a support system away from parents that didn't accept that he was trans, but he has done nothing but destroy this house and our relationship with him.

    I apologize for how long this is, I just need to vent, and I thought maybe some of you guys need to as well! Feel free to add your own horror stories!
  2. quoting_mungo

    quoting_mungo Administrator Staff Member

    Oh. Oh boy. Terrible housemates are a story I know only too well.

    We had the two girls who absolutely could not comprehend "no metal in the nonstick pan" and who apparently never learned to do dishes. (I rewashed their dishes almost every time, and my ceramic nonstick pan is pretty much ruined, with obvious fork marks.) One of them also had trouble with "shut the front door", so I had my ~$1k pedigree/show cats walking out when she left the door wide open.

    We had the I believe doctorate student who INSISTED that ferrets are too stupid to learn by operant conditioning, and that there was no such thing as animal welfare law stating they need IIRC (it's been several years since my ferret passed, I used to know this but have shit memory for numbers) 2 square meters each, with a minimum of 4 square meters total, so I should just keep my ferret caged full time. I readily admit I did things wrong in that situation as well, but I'm still boggling at her telling me, to my face "no, they're too stupid" when I explained why I wouldn't immediately give my ferret attention when he misbehaved.

    We had the gentleman who never quite comprehended shutting windows, nor "you mustn't turn your radiator completely off in the winter, or the entire floor loses heat". Came home to my pedigree/show cat crying in the yard because she'd jumped out a window he left open and was freaked out, multiple times. Also had to loan other housemate my electric blanket because he turned off the radiator and locked his door when he left home and left other housemate without heat.

    And then there's the marathon tale of the amphetamine addict we've been trying to evict since summer. I totally approve of having reasonable renter's protection laws, but between this idiot doing all he can to take advantage of squatter's rights and my landlord being a bit of a grade-A moron himself (it's okay, he's my dad, I get to call him on being a giant dumbass), along with collections (who are the ones who have to enforce/enact evictions) being slower than molasses, I'm stuck with, well... he MIGHT be getting his stuff and fucking off next week. Might. He's said he would but if promises were money I wouldn't need any other income.

    But I can recognize the pattern of "oh, sorry, won't happen again" SO WELL from this last housemate. Like, my memory is abysmal, so I make a point of telling housemates "if you need me to do something, get my shit out of the dryer or vacuum or whatever, just politely ask me to". I understand forgetting.
    But the key there is, when a housemate asks me to take care of my shit, I make sure I do it right away. This guy, not so much.

    Yeah. There's a reason I have a tag on my Tumblr for ranting about housemates.
  3. Oh maaaan
    Yeah then you know the struggle well too! lol
    This guy... he's supposed to do the dishes but I have to rewash them too, because he leaves smears of grease all over everything and it's nasty. Pulls our clothes out of the dryer and leaves them on top of the machine, where they soon fall down and probably get peed on by a cat (something we've told him numerous times, yet he still does without just telling us to come get our finished clothes), and demands we buy him things.

    The last time, he came out and told my partner she 'should totally buy him a ps4' because he wanted to play some new game coming out- after we already bought him a ps3 and a ton of games last year he never touched.

    I don't get why common courtesy just isn't a thing with some people. I'm glad I'm not alone in my woes, you get it!
  4. LycanTheory

    LycanTheory Free to good home.

    Yeesh, this makes me glad that I live alone.

    I'm sorry your generosity and kindness has gone unreciprocated. For what it's worth, I commend both you and your partner. You have patience the likes of which I do not.
    DennyFrontier and mechanicalrain like this.
  5. Thank you <3
    I suppose that's the way of things.. sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't, but this was certainly a learning experience. I hope you never have to go through it!
    LycanTheory likes this.
  6. WolfyJake

    WolfyJake Professional Cuddlefluff

    When I was in college I shared a house with 5 others (of which 2 were my friends from high school), they were all really cool everybody paid rent and everybody had jobs on the side. It was great for a while. There were 4 bedrooms, which was fine because there were 2 couples who shared rooms. Me and another guy (who I had a little secret crush on) had our own rooms. All of our rooms had locks on them, but we trusted each other because we all became good friends and everyone was really nice so we didn't lock our rooms, except for the other single guy, who locked it out of habit.

    After a few weeks I started losing small things, like my favorite pen (which was sterling silver) and some of my Nintendo DS cartridges. and at first I thought I imagined it and just misplaced that stuff until I noticed small amounts of money going missing from my desk. I didn't count it first so I couldn't be sure. To check my theory I counted it and wrote it down in my phone, then went to class. When I got back I went back to my room and recounted my cash, of which there was €2,- less than from before I left. I wrote it down in my phone and decided to talk about it with my two best friends from high school, of who I knew couldn't have done this because we have the same classes. It turned out that they had lost some small things too.

    So I got into a group huddle with my two friends and we decided to put up a little police like surveillance system in my room, to see who did it and get our stuff back. My room was the ideal place to do such a thing because I could hide my old camera on top of the curtain rail and make it barely noticeable while still covering almost the entire room. There was also a power outlet behind the curtain to keep the camera charged while it recorded. I loaded a 64gb SD card into the thing (enough for around 8 hours of footage) and pressed record before I waved at the camera and went to class. I returned 6 hours later with my friends and quickly got the camera.

    We plugged it into my laptop and started scrolling through the footage. Until about 2 hours in, when we saw mr. cute single guy strolling through my room looking around (possibly for small stuff to take) but finally settling on money from my desk (which isn't out in the open but in a shoebox in one of its drawers). So we went up to him when he got back and confronted him with the footage. He had that headlight-deer look and let us into his room, where we eventually found all of our, and the other couple's missing stuff, and even stuff we didn't know was missing (like my second PS4 controller). I got my pen back, which was pretty much the only important thing to me that went missing and we even got back most of our money. Two days later he quit school and left.

    I quit school about 5 months later and moved back home. He was a terrible housemate, but playing cop by surveilling and catching him was honestly the most amount of fun I've had in a long time.
  7. Yikes (TM)
    At least you got your pen back in the end, that's something! Why does it always have to be the cute ones? Shame
    WolfyJake likes this.
  8. Alex K

    Alex K Guest

    Just tell em to move out and find some other place to live and maybe even get a cat
  9. quoting_mungo

    quoting_mungo Administrator Staff Member

    Any chance you could get a hamper or something for them to go in? I mean, common sense dictates if you're home going and asking you to get your shit would be at least as easy (unless you've given him reason to think you won't get to it - I literally had no access to my washer/dryer for months because my addict housemate left wet laundry all over the laundry room floor and in the machines after his friend flooded the damn laundry room by leaving the sink in there on for literal hours, and I asked him multiple times to take care of his damn laundry), but if there's a place to put it that saves your laundry from getting peed on by cats it might be worth it?

    WTF, mate? I mean... I feel bad about my boyfriend spending money on me! I can sympathize with should-be-on-disability-but-not-actually-getting-it (THAT whole mess is a different story), but expecting someone else to buy you big-ticket items to make up for your lack of money isn't the answer.

    Oogh, I'm so sorry you had to deal with a thieving housemate. My dad/landlord and I have lost some small things to addict housemate, as well, and it's a huge pain. Off the top of my head, I lost a screwdriver/bit set, a laundry bag, like half a bottle of pet mess cleaner (the stuff you spray on the floor to clean up after your pets - he was using it to clean his moldy laundry apparently!), rolls and rolls of paper towel, some old computer components, the charger and holder for my car GPS, and a tiny sweat towel. My dad lost some car tire valve caps (WTF?!) and the center caps from his winter tires. Some of them were apparently returned after he confronted housemate, but not all of them.

    And I've had, like... I think it totals up to upwards of ten warrant searches by police on the property, at this point.

  10. Sogreth

    Sogreth Local Cuddle Bear and Wannabe Writer

    *sigh* I've never had to kick a roommate out, but I technically got kicked out. Well, more like I just left.

    He used to be my best friend, we started arguing over stupid things, but eventually it got really bad. He said some awful things to me, I don't even want to repeat it that's how bad it was. At one point he said "Just leave", and by then, I had already given up. I was exhausted, I didn't want to argue anymore. So I left.

    That was about 5 years ago. I had actually ran into him for the first time a couple months ago, and we started talking again.

    He was honestly a terrible roommate. Really messy. But he was a good friend, and I still miss him. Even if he was an asshole.
  11. aloveablebunny

    aloveablebunny boop the snoot

    Eeek. I've had some not so great housemates in my almost 10 years of living with others...

    The worst was probably when I lived with my current coworker's son. He had lived at home until we got an apartment together (platonically) and so mom always cleaned up after him and his dog. It was fine at the start, we got along well, chores were done, etc. We had separate bathrooms (thank GOD).

    The fun started when he started getting super lax on cleaning up after himself. I'd come home to clothing articles strewn across the living room floor and couches... socks, shirts, boxers, etc. Socks would sit on the floor for days.. sometimes weeks before he picked them up. His little dog (who was a total sweetheart, but who had separation anxiety and wasn't properly house trained) would often pee on the socks...

    Then he didn't really clean the dishes. Left them on the stove, in the sink for days. We started to get roaches. When that happened, I lost my shit on him. I'm not afraid of roaches, but I do NOT want to share my house with them, much less give them a reason to set up shop there.

    His dog had a habit of peeing and pooping on the carpet, because both him and I were gone for 8+ hours a day at work. At first, I would feel bad for her and take her out on walks when I got home so she could use the bathroom and stretch her legs. But then I didn't want to do that anymore because well.. she's not my dog, it shouldn't be my responsibility.

    Anyways, she also ripped up the carpet in a few places due to separation anxiety and lack of toys/things to keep her busy while no one was home.

    Once he got a girlfriend, she was over a LOT. I'm talking 5/7 days a week. She'd shower there, do laundry there, and basically lived there part time... even though she lived in the same complex, a few buildings away. He would leave to work in the morning and leave here at the house... which made it awkward for me because she did not talk to me. She didn't even really acknowledge me. I found out later that he had given her a spare key, without my permission. I was pretty angry.

    We're not friends anymore. This was like... 4 years ago. When we moved out, we got hit with a $500-ish bill from the landlord for cleaning and to replace the carpet because it was so badly damaged from the dog. I made him pay for it because it was his animal that destroyed it.
  12. @quoting_mungo
    There is a hamper, he just refuses to use it it because 'oh, I forgot we had one sorry' Even though 98% of the time it's sitting right outside of the laundry room door. But this is also the guy who, when the bottom of the cheaply installed tub got a huge crack in it during his shower, 'forgot' to tell anyone about it so when I took my shower next I sliced my foot and almost fell into the crawlspace under the house. It was a pretty penny to install a new tub, which we of course had to do, but I could have done without the 5 stitches and the brush with almost being discovered dead and naked under my house embarrassment.

    I'm sorry you had such a big falling out with a friend.. I've been there too and it well and truly sucks. I hope that now maybe you're able to repair that relationship!

    Wow! Well I'm glad you made him pay for it... he should have been taking better care of his own dog, and its certainly his fault the carpets got destroyed. :(
    Crappy roommate's girlfriend too. Cripes.
    Sogreth likes this.
  13. DennyFrontier

    DennyFrontier Noir York City

    Oh my goodness I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with someone so difficult. Be thankful you did not sign a joint contract with him and get shafted with the other half of the bills. I wouldn't be kind enough to give him a month, I would have given him a two weeks (if that) because I have no patience for that kind of behavior. Hope it works out for you.
  14. Okami_No_Heishi

    Okami_No_Heishi Very Happily Married For 16 And A Half Years

    Yeah. Only had one roommate. I think I was 23, he was 27. We worked together. He was a really good guy, but a terrible roommate. I was living in a small one room apartment on the backside of a house in Atlanta. He needed a place to stay. I offered my couch. I never saw any rent money. Grocery money. Bill money. He always had money for weed. Or mobey for his hobby, playing the drums. But never gave me a cent. After a month, my landlady asked since two were living here she wanted twice the rent. Told him. He got mad and said some bad shit about my landlady. It pissed me off. My landlady was 80 years old! Sweet ole lady. I told him right then he needed to leave. Right then. He got his shit and left. We remained friends of a sorts. But we haven't seen or spoke in 19 years. And he had the worst personal hygiene of anyone I have ever met. Bums take better care of themselves than he did.
  15. Kellan Meig'h

    Kellan Meig'h Kilted Coder

    I had a friend (deceased now) that needed a place to stay "for a few days" until someone had a room for him. Lived on my couch for a year. He was overweight so the couch took a beating. He was getting disability but he never had money for food, bills, rent, etc. He parked his wreck (not good enough to be a hoopty) in my driveway and there it sat. He would take parts off of it and decide they needed to be replaced. Not with good junkyard parts but super high-end racing parts. I was fortunate enough that he didn't get rid of the old parts because he left himself open and went with someone to an out of state event (with no money? NOT!).

    I saw that as an opportunity to reassemble his wreck, drag it across the street and pile his $h!t in the back seat. I then changed the locks on the doors. Ya know, he just got in his car and left, never even knocking to get in.

    In a way, I feel bad that I did this but in the long run, I came out ahead. He went to stay with someone we knew "just for a few days", then set up an old army cot in his garage. Lived there for ten years, bought a heap of a LUV truck with a fooked up small block chevy in it and left it in our friend's driveway. He never had money there, either but bought $h!t to put on that LUV, not even knowing if it ran. Our friend eventually had to give up his hobby room so the dOOd would have a bed to sleep in. Manager ordered that. This went on until he got sick (diabetic with a bad ticker) and laid in the same place on the corner of the bed for over a day. He went to the hospital, actually suffering from a stroke. He was in and out of the hospital or a rehab facility, finally passing away last December 30th. He was 63.

    So yeah, I've dealt with those unwanted guests just like my friend did. Before the mooch passed away, we moved to a new apartment. We did not buy a couch, however. He suggested our daughter could sleep on the living room floor and he could have her bed. Idea not entertained, I can tell you.

    We had other unwelcome guests but he was the worst.
  16. Glad I'm not the only one that's gone through this crap, thanks so much for your stories so far!! I'm sorry you've all had to endure the chaos of bad roommates.

    Here's an update on mine now that we're a week from the move out date-
    He has type 2 Diabetes, which was diagnosed 6 months ago. He is not maintaining treatment, owns nothing for checking blood sugar, and pretty much ignores it. A few days ago he admitted he's been having dizzy spells constantly, loss of balance, mild hallucinations, bad headaches, etc for the past couple months, and insisted on going to the hospital last weekend.... however... he left after 6 hours because they were busy and he was tired of waiting, and hasn't made any other appointments. He's also googling the symptoms and telling us he has increasingly rare diseases that MUST be the reason for the dizziness... and flat out refuses to think it's attributed to his unmanaged diabetes because 'my blood sugar is perfect' (remember, he has no way of checking it, takes no meds, does nothing about it at all.)

    As far as his plans on moving out.
    Well it's just too gosh dang hard to make any kind of effort in finding a place to live, so he's just loudly proclaiming that he'll just have to live in shelters and on the streets for a few months until he finds a job or gets on Disability (the same Disability he's been "trying" to get for 6 months... IE... refuses to finish the paperwork for or make any phone calls to check the status of.) He's been lying to his mother about us to try to garner sympathy, but his mom just called us and asked for the real story anyway, and he's spent the last week telling me he's got all kinds of plans to definitely work on- but turns around to our other roommate and snaps at her that he doesn't have any plans at all and is trying to force her to fix everything for him like she always does.

    Pulling my hair out, but soooooo glad he'll be out in 7 days!!!
  17. quoting_mungo

    quoting_mungo Administrator Staff Member

    Living in a shelter might turn out to be the wake-up call he needs, if it comes to that. It's a lot easier to get around to things like filing disability paperwork when there's less distractions available to occupy one's time. Might also, hopefully, get him to take his diabetes seriously, because that is not something you fuck around with. My ex's father had type 2 diabetes, though his wife checked his sugar and managed his insulin for him, and his legs had athropied to the point where he could barely walk from the kitchen to the bedroom of their house. Mostly because of him refusing to do anything to try to alleviate his condition.

    On my end, nightmare housemate has finally moved one of his two cars from the driveway and removed some of his belongings from his room. Surprising no one, he's nowhere near done moving out well past the date he said he was going to get his shit. Court date to try to get him to pony up for some of the damage he's done to the house is probably going to be in mid-late April. Obnoxious, because I'll likely have him ringing the doorbell to come pick up stuff for the next however long.
  18. Royn

    Royn Otterest Sergal evah!

    have him read this thread, see his reaction, and proceed from there no matter how difficult it will seem. Do the right thing for the health of it.
  19. Okami_No_Heishi

    Okami_No_Heishi Very Happily Married For 16 And A Half Years

    He sounds like he might have some mental instabilities going on. Almost sounds like bi-polar or just plain depression. My thoughts go out to you bro.
    Sarachaga likes this.
  20. Crimson_Steel17

    Crimson_Steel17 The night is my solace; the day is my prime

    Okay, I admit. I got nothing on you guys. However, here's my story:
    I had about 18 Semester Credit Hours of classes, not to mention my part-time job at the dining hall. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the self-righteous, narcissistic SOB that was my roommate at the time. And Scott (that was his name) just absolutely LOVED That 70s Show.
    He loved it soooooo much, that when I had a 9 am Philosophy lecture, a double in the Dish Room at 8 am, or 6 am PT (I was Army ROTC at the time), the night before (scratch that: every night) he couldn't fall asleep without it blaring out the speakers ALL THE F*CKING TIME. This would continue until between 2 and 4 am, by which time I couldn't go to sleep unless I was going to miss class, work, or PT... which I told him about when I politely asked him to use his Beats (By Dre), or just shut it off. His response would always be, "I don't do that; I'm always asleep by 10. Maybe you would get sleep if you didn't play video games all night," referring to my only remaining coping mechanism for the situation... I would broadcast on Twitch to try and make something positive out of the situation.
    So I got the RA's (Resident Advisers) involved... and their immediate response to the lethargic nature of my sleep deprivation was to accuse me of being drunk- grounds for eviction from student housing, since I'm only 19. Since they wouldn't take me seriously, I went to my RED (Residential Education Director). While he kindly started documenting the happenings, nothing ever came of it... I later discovered the University refused to evict him because they were afraid of discrimination lawsuits regarding his Native American Tribal Affiliation. So I was stuck with this wanker... for the rest of the semester, unless my poor, white ass (God help me, I sound like my racist Grandpa) got evicted- not in the plan for me.
    My condition worsened, which was not unnoticed by my Supervisor. I almost got Form C'd (Terminated) 4 times over this, and I kindly let Scott know when it happened. At my very worst, I hallucinated having boarded a plane (since my ZipCar membership had already been terminated after a collision I'd had early on as a result), and flown back to PDX- the closest airport to my home. Finally, I was forced to adopt a nocturnal lifestyle (maybe that's why the wolf sona? I still haven't figured out why that one was the most relatable) and ultimately could not attend any of my classes any more. I failed the semester with 0.08, by far the worst I've ever had in my life. I was stripped of my Financial Aid for this semester, and am currently $12k in debt to the University because they couldn't evict someone who violated every rule, every addendum, and every provision in the Housing Contract- all because he had Tribal Affiliation (which apparently automatically equals a lawsuit).
    So I've spent this semester legit relearning how to live like human instead of Wolf, filling out paperwork, and getting close and personal look at the bureaucracy of Washington State University to fix their sh*t. At least I got repackaged for next year, but I'm gonna be working a lot of overtime over the summer (I have a job lined up at my local card shop) to pay back what I owe... Isn't college the best?! :V
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2017
    Rant, cosmo-cat and Karatine like this.

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