Uavik(off to a good/bad start?)13pgs(for part 1)

Discussion in 'Tutorials & Critiques' started by I.Hykok, Jul 15, 2017.

  1. I.Hykok

    I.Hykok Member

    Did some minor reworking.
    Though I'm still not happy with that word unrequitable at the start of the story as they feel no rage towards him but he does towards them. It is rage that he cannot obtain a satisfactory goal of satisfying.

    A fantasy story of unknown length in which a dragon for his crimes and behavior, is sentenced to become a 'lesser being' and must perform acts of kindness, bravery, altruism etc. in order to get his full draconic self back.

    www.furaffinity.net: Uavik pt 1ofmany by I.Hykok

    How's the flow, How well does it read? How are the Characters? Spelling/punctuation/syntax oversights?
    Critiques in general?
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2017
  2. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    Do you have a link to the story?
     
  3. I.Hykok

    I.Hykok Member

    Yep, right there.
    Not like I'd forget posting the link or anything(cough~cough ☺️)
     
  4. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    Right off the bat you've got some spelling mistakes, words that don't even exist, words that do not mean what you think they mean and some passages that should be rewritten for better flow as they're quite awkward to read.

    Also personal gripe but fuck the Oxford comma
     
  5. I.Hykok

    I.Hykok Member

    Hopefully caught all the spelling mistakes.
    Not sure if I caught all the nonexistent and/or incorrectly used words. If I missed any please list them.
    Passages have been rewritten.
     

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