What Do You Not Want In a Partner?

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Arcturus Maple, May 19, 2017.


What Do You Not Want In a Partner?

  1. Calls you all the time.

  2. Wants to spend time with you.

  3. Tries to get you involved with new things.

  4. Argues with you.

  5. Tries to protect you from harm.

  6. Asks you about your day.

  7. Gives you massages.

  8. Makes/buys dinner.

  9. Makes flirty comments to other people.

  10. Is always up for intimate time.

Multiple votes are allowed.
Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Arcturus Maple

    Arcturus Maple Enigmatic Anomaly

    This thread is merely a way of seeing what everybody does not want or does not mind in their relationship. Please vote on the items you do not want in a relationship. Everything else will be assumed to be unimportant or a positive thing in a relationship unless stated otherwise in the comments.
  2. Mr. Fox

    Mr. Fox Well-Known Member

    Enough to know it makes it impossible to find one.
  3. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru 100% Weaponized Autism

    I'm not interested in someone who breathe down my neck 24/7. Even if we are together, I still want my own private space and private time. And that includes privacy in terms of who I am in contact with, and who I am friendly with. I also have no intention of mixing our economies. They are to stay seperate. Bills/expenditures 'n shit are to be shared, though I don't mind spoiling her with a gift once in a while.

    Oh, and she are to stay away from my porn..

    If we are together, I expect a bit of loyalty and respect. If you cheat on me, expect to get ditched instantly.
    Activoid and Arcturus Maple like this.
  4. Trashsona

    Trashsona Well-Known Member

    I don't think that I'm terribly picky when it comes to boyfriends.

    Having an argument every now and again or just disagreeing/debating on some things is fine, but I don't want to argue every day as that would just drive me nuts. Being protective is cute and all but I can see it becoming an issue, like it leading to him becoming controlling. I also need my space/alone time just like everyone else.

    Other than that my only real issues would be that he needs to be able to take care of himself and that their is mutual trust and respect between us.
    Arcturus Maple likes this.
  5. TomVaporeon

    TomVaporeon Actually a birb

  6. TomVaporeon

    TomVaporeon Actually a birb

    Though in all seriousness, I like having time by myself so I wouldn't want someone who wants to go outside too often.
  7. quoting_mungo

    quoting_mungo Administrator Staff Member

    Honestly, nothing you put in that poll is necessarily a dealbreaker to me, provided the degree it's being done to isn't ridiculous. But polls don't let you submit them without checking any options, so... :p

    Dealbreakers are things like malice, abusive behavior, incompatible life/relationship goals - completely incompatible sex drives can be a concern, but anyone I get involved with at this point is going to be poly and/or a fuckbuddy (and strict monogamy would qualify as an incompatible relationship goal anyway), so... Most other things can be worked out, if the chemistry is right and there are enough positives to outweigh the negatives. Straight is likely to be a mark against a potential partner, but not an absolute no.

    Cat allergies might... make things difficult, practically speaking.
    Arcturus Maple likes this.
  8. Sergei Sóhomo

    Sergei Sóhomo Well-Known Member

    Edgy behaviour
    Refusing to put effort into anything
    No goals in life
    WolfNightV4X1 likes this.
  9. Yvvki

    Yvvki Sassy lesser panda.

    People who argue because they have nothing else to do need to grow the fuck up.

    Also all those other points are fine as long as it's done in moderation.

    Some people just have a flirty personality. You should be able to pick up on that before dating them. Don't date someone and try to change them into what you want. My goodness.
    Arcturus Maple likes this.
  10. Jarren

    Jarren You can't just quote yourself! -Me

    With regards to the arguing thing, sometimes a good heated discussion/argument is good. It sucks when your partner has no opinion of their own or will always just roll over and admit you're right. Dammit, have a spine to stand up for yourself! Part of the reason I broke off with my ex...
  11. WolfNightV4X1

    WolfNightV4X1 King of Kawaii; That Token Femboy

    Probably someone who has a bit of self confidence/self respect/self love. I meet too many people that dont and when you try to love them it's useless. How can you compliment someone and tell them you love them if they dont take it to heart?
    Amiir and Yvvki like this.
  12. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru 100% Weaponized Autism

    Exactly. How can you expect to love someone else when you don't love yourself?
    WolfNightV4X1 likes this.
  13. Simo

    Simo Skunk

    The only thing I wouldn't want is 'Argues With You'. Debates and discusses, certainly, but I would not want a bitchy, naggy, argumentative partner. The rest, I do not mind.
    Tezzy Fur likes this.
  14. PencilBrain

    PencilBrain Squishy Butt

    I guess im weird. Ive been with men/women of many types. Atleast enough to know what i like and dislike.
    I like people who message me a lot and want to spend time with me a lot.
    What you would call clingy i would call loving. I need somone who wants to talk about stuff whenever and asks me about how im feeling.
    People who are distant and need tons of alone time are not for me.
    Basically youve gotta be my friend and my love. Sex is one of the most important things being a top/bottom submissive person i need someone to make me happy and cuddle like all the time. I guess im needy. But i dont care. It sucks to see so many people break "clingy" peoples hearts just because they care more than normal. Like your not cool cuz you ignore your partner all the time to impress your friends.
    Arcturus Maple likes this.
  15. Yvvki

    Yvvki Sassy lesser panda.

    My family does nothing but argue. Its extremely toxic. I like people who speak their mind but there is a mature way of doing so without the fighting.
    WolfNightV4X1 and Arcturus Maple like this.
  16. Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs

    Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs Fighter of the Nightman

    I do not want irrational selfishness. In a sense it all has to me mutual.
    Yvvki likes this.
  17. Rykhoteth


    Alien symbionts.
    Bad special effects.

    You'd think any of these easy to avoid, then suddenly, BAM all three in a row.

    Her symbiont can argue politics with me though, I'm OK with that.
  18. Arcturus Maple

    Arcturus Maple Enigmatic Anomaly

    What's wrong with alien symbionts?
  19. Tezzy Fur

    Tezzy Fur Active Member

    Hhmmm, funnily enough I find that I'm not after too many specific qualities in a partner. I generally find that when you connect with someone they are often people you wouldn't necessarily pick if you found them on a dating sites (I've only ever used a dating app once and it was pretty unremarkable). The main thing I find important is sexual compatibility. I'm kinda kinky and it's pretty important to me that we click sexually, which may make people think I'm shallow that that's my main concern. It's not that personality isn't important, it's just that I find trying to pick out ideal qualities in a partner is a bit of a highway to nowhere and we connect with people on all sorts of levels. Sex is an important thing between couples in whatever form it takes and if it doesn't work from the start it's going to be really difficult to maintain a relationship long term when both sides are sexually frustrated.

    That said, just to get into the spirit of the question, I suppose there is one thing I do think is important. I hate cruelty of any kind and people mistreating others, so if I saw my partner do this I'd really question our relationship. That's about it really, so I guess I like kind, kinky people :p
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
  20. Belatucadros

    Belatucadros Sláinte chugat!

    Ditto everything you said!
  21. PencilBrain

    PencilBrain Squishy Butt

    Agreed :3
  22. Simo

    Simo Skunk

    I do not want my partner to have fleas.
  23. Tezzy Fur

    Tezzy Fur Active Member

    Oh Simo, now you're just being picky :p
    Yakamaru, Arcturus Maple and Simo like this.
  24. Simo

    Simo Skunk

    Picky?! And no ticks, either!
    Yakamaru and Tezzy Fur like this.
  25. Lcs

    Lcs Well-Known Member

    For the "Wants to spend time with you" option, did you mean if they were to do this all the time? If so, then I would probably not be a fan of that. If not, well, isn't that like a pretty essential part of a relation?

    Anyways, I think the only thing listed in the poll that I would have a problem with is if they were to call me all the time. Other than that, the rest are kind of unimportant and some I would actually be in favour of, like the massages and them making dinner for me. Though outside of the poll, I really respect confidence and independence a lot, so I guess I'd prefer the person to not be too insecure or reliant on me.

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