Your most profound personal changes

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by KimberVaile, Oct 22, 2017.

  1. KimberVaile

    KimberVaile Edgy teenage apathy.

    Indulge me, what are your most notable or dramatic experiences you've had in your life that altered you personality? How would describe your personality before the experience and after it?

    I'll start the thread of and regale to you, some of my own. Be warned, thar be multiple paragraphs ahead for all you Tl;dr folks out there.

    First I recall was High School, just graduated from one of the worst private schools I've ever been to in my life. I had close to no friends, had to endure being bullied pretty often. My philosophy to cope with that was to aggressively posture myself as a hyper confident 'bad kid'. To swagger about as the sort of kid that hung out with the wrong crowd and liked to take long, lingering drags on a few cigs after school. I hated school and the idea of learning to be quite frank, and I was miserable there almost every day. To my young undeveloped mind, learning was synonymous with that school, hence, by extension, I hated my education. The teachers were awful and unqualified to teach, and the kids there were about as horrible as you'd expect kids to be. Miraculously, the aforementioned High School completely changed my view on education. While the kids were still as unpleasant as ever, conversely, my teacher was very inspiring to me and helped motivate me to better myself. Contrasting to the impatient and irritable teachers I had in grade school, he was remarkably patient and encouraging. Which in turn, encouraged me to better myself and to enjoy my education. Suddenly, the associations I had built with learning being linked with angry, temperamental old hags who loathed their job withered. I'll never forget that teacher.

    The second one is somewhat less impactful but I digress. I used to be a SJW and all around pretty humorless person. I feel this was due in part to wanting to please people I considered friends at the time, and that's always the wrong reason to do things, but that wasn't the entire reason I was like that. Another significant contributer towards that attitude was an unwarranted feeling of entitlement. I suppose I wanted to push social justice because I was frustrated gays had less media presence or some thinly veiled entitlement similar to that. I think after these so called pals of mine threw me under the bus, was when I shifted my alignment towards a hard anti-PC perspective. My growing weariness and cynicism towards people was a large part of that as well and what happened only exacerbated those feelings really. I really didn't have too many friends at all after that point, so my anti-pc perspective helped to diminish a lot of the emotional damage done, by allowing me to be more carefree with certain things, like whether or not my occasional racey since of humor would go over well.

    Being thrown under the bus was an important catalyst in my life, but I saw myself starting to immerse myself too deeply in Anti-PC, to the point were I started to become emotionally remote from people and began using Anti-PC as an excuse to offend people and laugh at their expense. I stopped that pretty quick though, and I eventually settled on finding a balance between the two, still cynical at times, but not without appropriate consideration and empathy for another's perspective. A moderate if you will, and as of now, it's my mantra in life, finding a reasonable balance rather than gravitate towards extremes.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
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  2. Mabus

    Mabus Well-Known Woofer

    Would tell, but too personal and emotional to go into detail about ^~^

    Lets just happily say shit went down and i became better :p
     
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  3. KimberVaile

    KimberVaile Edgy teenage apathy.

    Does have me curious though.
     
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  4. -..Legacy..-

    -..Legacy..- Sergal Mafia :P

    Some things are better left without details. Me 15 years ago, is a much different person than what most see today.

    When you could do things on reflex, without remorse, it's only when you aren't doing those things that it actually becomes apparent what you were doing. I still don't regret my choices in context, and I would honestly make those same choices again, but the concept resonates with future choices I make.
     
  5. Yakamaru

    Yakamaru I stubbed my log on a car!

    Notable or even dramatic personal changes? I can name only very few up over the years that's notable, and only one that's been dramatic.

    But, eh. It's kinda late here, and can't be assed to write a novel. :p
     
  6. Crimcyan

    Crimcyan Another fucking wolf

    I will make mine supershort beacuse im way lazy to type
    Switching highschools. in my 1st school i used to hang around all the "preppy" kids who are "to cool for school". I used to fail or almsot fail every class i was in, but then i basically got kicked out of that school. I then went to my 2nd school that i graduated ealry from with 7k in scholarships, so i guess thats my most noticeable personal change.
     
  7. Nastala

    Nastala nerd

    For the first part of my life my parents tried to keep me as far away from video games and the internet and stuff as possible and when that finally changed I turned into just about the laziest person on the planet
     
  8. ChapterAquila92

    ChapterAquila92 Resident Bronze Dragon Kasrkin

    I'm not sure which change was more profound in my own experience:
    • A death in the family while you're young, especially when said death is of a younger sibling (my brother died of SIDS on Halloween of 1997 at 3 months old), can throw you for a loop later on (especially as a pre-teen) once you start understanding the concept of death;
    • Pushing to be baptized after having a holier-than-thou nun tell you that the unbaptized go to Hell, especially after the aforementioned death (my baby brother wasn't baptized), and then going on to be a devout Catholic up until your senior years in high school;
    • Discovering and briefly embracing socialism while in high school; or
    • Joining the military to become an officer and moving away from home for the first time while going to university, all straight out of high school. Cue three years of banging your head against a wall trying to accomplish something you're not adequately prepared for before shifting gears to something you find more fulfilling and rewarding in the meantime.
     
  9. Rimna

    Rimna Far from the madding crowd

    Going back to university to finish my degree after having quit it for 2 years.
    And I guess managing to stay(for the most part) sane after dealing with a crapton on health issues, some of which have kept me in bed for weeks at a time.
     
  10. real time strategist

    real time strategist "What's an airport, again?"

    Welp here goes my very summarized story.

    When I was 7 we moved to Massachusetts, specifically Norton as this place is not like the rest of Massachusetts according to my friend, which was my 1 of 2 friends there. When I got there in first grade I was thrust into a world of hate. For some reason the whole thing with Norton is that they don't like anyone who wasn't born in New England or hasn't lived there for 10 years. Every day I would get beat up, and it was pretty rare to come home without bruises, and if I went outside I would be chased and beat up until I went back inside. This made videogames the only thing I did when I got home, and it wasn't just kids either, for a tame example, for some reason if someone insulted me with swear word and then punched me in the stomach, right in front of a teacher, they didn't care. But if I didn't move when some group of dickheads wanted to sit together I got in huge trouble. When I was 9 I used to plan running away and surviving in the woods, that is until someone told me to kill myself, which was the first time I heard of suicide, which I eventually pulled a knife to my chest at the same age. In 4th grade I learned that being weird made people laugh at me instead of hit me.

    When I got out and moved back to Wisconsin, the combination of the fact that my weirdness had already dug itself into my personality and the things I enjoyed no one else cared about, led me to only have one friend which helped me out during Norton. That is until now where I have finally found friends in high school.
     
  11. Kezi Avdiivka

    Kezi Avdiivka Active Member

    At the age of 19, I felt like being a medical attendant had the sole responsibility of walking people out of the hell they found themselves in by being there for them, caring for them, being their angel when they needed one the most, while walking them thought the fire.

    at age 27? I seriously lul at people who catch fire. Marshmellows roasting on a person who has a gasoline allergy is the greatest.
     
  12. KimberVaile

    KimberVaile Edgy teenage apathy.

    Haha. Can only see so much of the world before cynicism and misanthropy begin to challenge all your good intent. I can relate, it's hard to not be so cynical sometimes.
     
  13. Blueberrydragon

    Blueberrydragon New Member

    First I was a horny teenage fuck, now I'm a slightly older, slightly matured horny teenage fuck.
     
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  14. Simo

    Simo Skunk

    Becoming a skunk.

    I used to be a mere dog...an Alaskan Malamute, but now, my life has been changed.

    I'll be giving a fursuited TED talk on this soon...stay tuned!
     
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  15. MadKiyo

    MadKiyo Villainous Fly

    My dad never meant me any harm. Deeply I knew that and he told me he loved me on a regular basis, but to me as a kid he was the loudest, scariest person I knew. This wasn't the cause of any major problems of my life, but it set me up for them. I was raised in a traditional... Well, "traditional" household. The whole family would go ATV riding and do a Friday night barbeque and campfire often, but the way I was raised had a profound effect on how I viewed success, that combined with my personality. All of the yelling and confusion on my dad's side of the family planted a fear of being yelled at in my mind. Mentally I would go numb with anxiety about how much I messed up (even if turns out to be small or reversible) and beat myself up, even if my dad didn't yell. Then there was the push for getting excellent grades, always meeting daily routines, withholding any dissent towards parents, and generally meeting the standards placed for me. To me that wasn't a problem as I typically did very well. It was only when my teens came that I started fighting myself. I wanted independence suddenly, and a desire to work things out on my own. I started online courses instead of continuing public school, which my thirst for control over my life swiftly squandered that opportunity and I became lazy. A's went to B's, and B's went to C's and D's.

    My parents had come of the age where they were less restrictive and more open to the different lifestyles my brother and I adopted. This certainly didn't help my case as I was going consistently unchallenged in my ways of getting around doing school work. Eventually the beans spilled and I was put in a tug-of-war of paralyzing thoughts. My parents were extremely upset, and their frustration scared me as I had a lingering fear of being yelled at and I just wanted to escape that fear and drown it out with TV or games. Even TV and games weren't enough as I felt strangling guilt for failing the old values of my parents, but even then my independence gets in the way and I struggle to ask for help as to not seem incompetent. All of these combined to become the single worst part of my life for almost 2 years; staying silent. Whenever the tug-of-war came about, I would avoid it all by refusing to give in to any part of it, hoping I would forget. It got so bad that it felt almost involuntary, like I had lost my voice entirely, sitting there staring into nothing as I got questioned from all sides. I withheld my emotions as well, and this slowly transformed my personality into something greatly less of feeling and more of thought. I still don't know if this is a good thing, but it has made me less reactive and impulsive (and probably less fun). I can't seem to express feelings for things like I used to.

    There was, however, a growing breakthrough. I started by actually shaving for once and it felt good to know I completed a step to becoming an adult. I started drawing more and rapidly became better and better, and I saw something I was good at. I then got a driving permit and I found out what I wanted to do before anything else; be an adult. Catering to my need for independence by accomplishing things I knew my parents would be thrilled about without the fear of repercussion was appealing and increased my confidence. Despite all of it, I was still in high school and now on my last semester. I went to a public school for once in nearly 7 years and I actually had to meet the faces of who I would be disappointing this time. I was still exhausted from the stress that I created around school for so long, so it only enflamed the issue. I finally snapped, throwing all of the self-hatred and fear straight into punching my desk chair across my room after trying to stay silent one last time. From that point on I have made nothing but progress and I have sought help whenever I needed it. I now work full time, bought a car, and made real connections. I sent every restricting emotion, fear, and idea straight from my fist and into the chair in just 1 second.

    I had to replace the chair.
     
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  16. KimberVaile

    KimberVaile Edgy teenage apathy.

    "Mentally I would go numb with anxiety about how much I messed up (even if turns out to be small or reversible) and beat myself up, even if my dad didn't yell."
    That part hit pretty hard, I was particularly emotional as a kid, and something like getting yelled at ruined my day, to the point were I wouldn't want to talk to my folks for the rest of the day if they ever did yell at me, which of course happened. Not that it was unwarranted but, I suppose what I'm trying to say is yeah, I sort of know how that feels, though vastly different circumstances and all. Often times I'd cope by putting on facade and behaving indifferently, and whenever they did yell at me for something I'd feel humiliated and insignificant over it, but I think the feeling of disappointment was the worst. Though in my teens I showed the obnoxious, typical rebellious streak and started shouting back, I suppose at the time it seemed like a defense mechanism to act as if I hadn't done anything wrong.

    Anyways, good on you though! Your story reminds me alot of a Japanese friend I used to know, especially in regards to the pressure to satisfy his family and self loathing. I never actually knew what happened to him, but I digress. I was glad to read your story, I found it pretty inspiring actually. Oh, how much did you end up paying for the chair anyways? I'm curious.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
  17. Okamio

    Okamio I'm a gentle beast. Do not fear.

    Well...
    Let's start from the beginning. I was raised in a abusive family, both mentally and physically. Once I moved to the farm, I was bullied for 4 years by nearly everyone in the school, thanks to my ADHD and being involved with video games and art. Everyone called me a faggot, nerd, you know, the usual. Moved out of moms house and to my dad's where things were peachy only for half a year, then he got a DUI and as I tried to have a social life and raise my grades he decided to step into religion and force his beliefs upon me. He went through woman after woman his whole life, so he's terrible at relationships... while I just got out of one, but we'll get to that.
    After four years of both taking care of my father and rebelling, he kicked me out once he found out I slept with men. This is where I began to hate myself. I move into an older friends of mines place, where he partied for days and I missed sleep. Gained a lot of weight and dug deep into depression. Had a stable job but they were greedy and I could not make any more money or receive a promotion. Depression goes on for years... even now I still am fighting it. For years could not keep a job, but was with someone the whole time as they helped me fight to stay alive (was very suicidal.) All I try to do in life is be the most gentle and kind person I can, however the reward system for karma doesn't work well with me. I don't act nice, either; after being bullied and having to deal with so much hatred all my life I promised myself I'd never turn into that kind of person. People compliment my personality many times while working, so I'd like to say that I am a good person, I just have a hard time with getting my shit together and working on improving my lifestyle. I used to be careless and not give an absolute damn about myself, always trying to help others. I beat myself up constantly because I felt like I don't belong. I still feel like I'm unimportant in life, but I'm working on improving those feelings and stop wanting to beat myself up for being who I am. (A gay video gamer, furry, sub-par musician and now recently a writer again.)
    Recently, I just divorced my partner of 11 years... I felt pressured to keep us together even though honestly I'm uncomfortable around women and prefer to be with men. However, I don't think I know how to be in a relationship because all I've known is abuse and emotional instability. She hates me and I still want to be her friend but I don't think that's going to happen. I had to stop lying to myself, though, because hiding my feelings was becoming too much to handle.
    Coming out of the closet as a homosexual has lifted many demons, but also has made my family and some friends want nothing to do with me because she and I were "perfect."
    I still try to be kindhearted though. There's no reason for so much hatred. I just wish money and living wasn't so difficult to manage. With counselling I am doing better, and do not hate myself for being attracted to the same sex any longer.
    Life sure is weird.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
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  18. Nastala

    Nastala nerd

    gasoline... allergy? that exists?
     
  19. -..Legacy..-

    -..Legacy..- Sergal Mafia :P

    Multiple chemical sensitivity syndrome technically.
     
  20. Nastala

    Nastala nerd

    interesting
     
  21. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member



    my most profound moment was when i stood up to my bullies in highs cool i can't repeat it because i was banned the last time i talked about it

    second was probably the military i was always not that confident i was based but not a confident person and our section commander at basic training kinda took a shine to me he guessed everything that had happened in my life and he said he knew it because he went through the same thing but he couldn't really boost confidence in me until i once rolled my eyes at something and he went ape shit slammed the door shut in my room and then punched me in the face knocking me down (and this was 2011-12 it wasn't Vietnam era) and called me every name under the sun and called me "a worthless little C****" and all that

    i tried getting up but he kept kicking me in the face making my nose bleed more and saying "go on get up!" still calling me names then eventually i remember just grabbing onto his leg and saying "Fuck you Corporal!!!" twisting it knocking him over getting up then kicking him in the gut and yelling at him to get up

    my room mates came in and dragged me out we made up some story about me falling down the stairs and i went to the doctors to get it checked out

    later on i'm waiting for some kind of repercussion and my Section Commander had this big grin and i just said "what" and he said "you haven't even noticed you've been walking with a stronger gate and grown 8 feet" apparently he was trying to get me to attack him to ignite something inside myself i didn't even noticed

    he's probably one of the best military men ive ever met i his methods are unconventional and he doesn't follow guidelines but he is the best fucking instructor you will ever meet i remember when we graduated no one cared enough to come see me which was embarrassing because the whole event is based around your family coming so i was made to sit away from everyone at my own table and the Corporal just plunked down beside me with some food and said "i'm sorry mate but seeing you sitting here by yourself is the saddest thing ive seen in my 20 years in the Army"

    i asked him how he knew i wouldn't properly fuck him up that day and i love his response "i'm a 4ft built like a twig ginger there's nothing you could have done that i didn't get any worse before" he shared some parting words a short speech about getting through because i wanted to prove him wrong and that i have the makings of a great soldier but i have a long way ago and i never saw him again but those 3 months had a massively profound impact on my life i really was a changed person
     
  22. ChapterAquila92

    ChapterAquila92 Resident Bronze Dragon Kasrkin

    Eh... Don't knock a golden scholarship opportunity until you've taken it.
     
  23. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member

    different system i just asked "you have given me non transferable skills and never told me that i'll need to go to uni after Army pay for my degree please" and they just went "oh, ok"
     
  24. -..Legacy..-

    -..Legacy..- Sergal Mafia :P

    Yep, that's why I went into aviation. There's something you're already qualified for, when you get out. Plus 3 years of free school AND getting paid to go to squander whenever.
     
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  25. GreenZone

    GreenZone Well-Known Member

    yeah but at least we look cool not being prepared for Civilian life
     
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