I just read your thread you made.
I'm sorry Your having so many problems but, please don't kill yourself. I wish there is something I could to help you. I have had my times were I wanted to kill myself and I have had times were I tried but, I'm still here and my life is somewhat changing in a good direction and that small change was enough for me to stay alive. I hope the same thing happens for you just, please don't kill yourself. I'm hoping i'm not to late. Please don"t.