Don't worry. The worst that can happen is that they close the thread (as long as you don't do it again). The people that ripped you apart will eventually forget about and everything will all go back to normal.
The mods and admins of the site at times can be harsh on people.
Don't worry. They hate me too.
If you start posting on the site without any knowledge of how the forum works. They will tear you a new one. I made that mistake when I first came to this site. I made a thread about getting sick of trolling and they rip me apart.
I'm sorry Your having so many problems but, please don't kill yourself. I wish there is something I could to help you. I have had my times were I wanted to kill myself and I have had times were I tried but, I'm still here and my life is somewhat changing in a good direction and that small change was enough for me to stay alive. I hope the same thing happens for you just, please don't kill yourself. I'm hoping i'm not to late. Please don"t.