I'd have to consider the possibility that I'm inadvertently coming off in a way that I never intended or meant. Though, at the end of the day I wouldn't care if I truly didn't want to.
Look.... I like you and I'm sorry I've gotten this interaction to this point. In fact, I'm sorry for how I've been treating you. I did thread-hop and I saw opportunity to bring up a point and I did it without hesitation. It didn't occur to me then how "hounding" that may be, and I'm sorry for it. And I won't follow up with anything else on that.
I'm sorry I've straight up bullied you and I'll back off.
Thank you. I think it does a good job at showing the world what furries would look like and what a good idea it would be for us to become the animal-people we identify as if allowed, giving the human body to the animal we take our looks from.
The problem is that we can't just hand out admin powers willy nilly to anyone who wants to help. There is an application process, then curating that list into a shorter list, and then doing interviews, making the list shorter until we finally decide who's fit for the job. Not to mention it's incredibly risky to let a large number of people on without proper background checks and the like.
That is definitely partly true; to an extent I still don't like telling about it since I've lived with it for so long, I feel that it's mostly mine to bear.
Parr of my problem now is whether I tell my parents this when I bring up seeing a psychiatrist. On the one hand, if they believe me, it'll probably help me get help, but it's more likely that they'll just think I'm lying (in almost any case of my brother vs myself, he wins since they just value his word more than mine) or even if they do, they'll probably just end up blaming me as they often do.
Part of that is probably my depression projecting itself, but I don't think that any of those are remotely impossible.
I've come close to posting some of the above in the confessions thread, but like... I don't really have anything comparable to the stuff there. Everything I have is either really dark and I feel like I'd be attention whoring, or it's really trivial and I'd feel stupid posting it.
I haven't given any indication on Jv, really. I posted in the mod hut a bit ago about needing to sort stuff out and I probably won't be logging in again for a while.
Masking my feelings is something I've become very good at, for better or worse.
I've given it some thought. I do think that a fair amount of my current problems would fade away when I get to college.
I've been coping with depression one way or another for a while and i don't think it's liable to go away. It may have roots in my environment but it has flowered in my mind and will probably be here to stay for a while.
Then there are a couple other things. I was molested by my brother when I was 12 and those memories were largely heavily repressed until recently. I've been under a lot of stress this year and it's just... I don't even really know.
I've reconsidered somewhat; I'm going to try and go start seeing a psychiatrist, since I think that if I just move out I'll still be depressed and im trying to get best for long term
There's pros and cons of each side, but part of the biggest issue is that my parents don't really accept that im not the perfect child they envisioned (if they knew even a tenth of what I'm actually like I'd probably be kicked out) and I just want to be myself but im blocked whenever I try
I just don't fucking know, I guess. I'm going to try to get sorted out for now but the first step will be getting them to acknowledge that I need help, and i don't know if they will.
Really all they'll need is to feed me once a day, since I go to the same private school as him (good thing that's paid for the whole year) and adding a couple pairs of khakis to the weekly laundry isn't that much.
I'll also probably end up working with him after school in an electronics store so I can pay them rent if they want.
They've joked about me living with them before, so I figure it can't hurt to ask.