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Well, you haven’t yet proven you had anything to do with the turning of the place to night. Besides, I remedied that pretty quickly. I can’t just let them think I’m soft, or brag about being so powerful they might actually hurt me without knocking him down a peg— Actually wait I totally can...

Is that a duel challenge I hear? If so, let me get my armor and we can see who will accidentally hurt whom.

*gently sets @ssaannttoo down* I’m mostly de-armed, but I still brought my holy cross, so you best watch your tongue.

*twitches* Physical affection feels weird...

*plays Sun’s Song, fixes time*

*nuzzles* *shudders* Wow, I’ve never done that before... *puts hat on Ssaannttoo*

*smiles back* *places Ssaannttoo on shoulder and coils ice-hair-strand-thingy around his ears*

*recoils* Vibrations, vibrations, uhhh— *flips through glossary* Ah ha! “Purring: a sign of immense satisfaction”. *sighs with relief and replaces hand* “Phase two: closer cuddling. Part a: the snoot boop. If you yourself possess a boopable snoot, you can boop the boopable snoot of the cuddlee...

(“Patiently”?) “Step 2: gently place appendage on creature’s upper mid-section and watch how they react. If you hear any hisses, snarls, etc. retreat with caution.” *puts hand on Eevee*

*retrieves “Cuddling 101”* Hmmm... “step 1: slowly reach arm towards creature you wish to cuddle.” *reaches towards Eevee like he’s a bomb I’m trying to defuse*

Oh. Fair enough. *shudders*

Phew... *gently dumps Eevee out of hat and replaces it* Why were you crawling on my face?!

*rushes to catch Eevee* *reaches hat out like baseball glove to make the save*

*tail-bristles in face initiate sneeze restart sequence* *sneezing fit launches you off*

*is still metaphorically glitching out on the side of the pool*

Well, I don’t actually think you carry any plagues, I was just stating there would be no dishonor in avoiding you if that were the reason. C-compliment a not-fully-clothed female’s appearance? I wouldn’t dare—th-the implications—what kind of Knight do you take me for? I mean, to give a...

Fine, then. Even if it was this “cooties” I feared, there’s no shame in avoiding a plague, as @ben909 can attest to.

No. I’d be honored if someone dropped everything they were doing whenever I showed up. I’d be like a king or something.

Yes. I’m sure that will teach me much. *opens “Cuddling 101” and reads sarcastically* ... But... but wouldn’t it be at least disrespectful to the females I look at, chivalry aside?

... Bastards. So how can I overcome my information deficit?