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(Okay. )

*CLANG* *finishes slicing hole, escapes out backend of sack* Huh— *is tackled by dozens of exceedingly helpful and polite customer service assistants* HELP— *a complimentary mint silences me* *they tie me to the shoe bench and begin measuring* *spits mint out* NO TOUCHEY—HEEELP

*a muffled “who?” can be heard from the sack* *as well as sawing noises*

Huh? Are you talking to a friend of yours named “Arikins”? I haven’t met him, would you mind introducing me? He sounds quite sophisticated and intelligent. HEY WTF ARE YOU DOING LET ME— *begins slicing escape hole in sack with dagger*

*draws Venn diagram, with masculinity in once circle, usefulness in another, and finally, fabulousness in the third* *fabulousness barely intersects the other two* *points the the intersection and frowns* If you think I’m doing anything with you, you’re sorely mistaken.

(This makes me even more sure that we need some kind of “confused” reaction, as well as a “bruh” reaction)

*visible confusion intensifies* What’s wrong with my current footwear?

*visible confusion* See, @TR273? I wouldn’t have been helping—hold it *examines narration* *looks indignant* I am a masculine male! How dare you!

No idea. I haven’t seen him until very recently. You know as much about him as I— Wait why am I assisting you in any way? I refuse to give you any information!

(Just a doodle?? Understatement much?) Fie upon thee and upon PvP’s obsession with dresses!! Damnations.

Because every possible event has happened to me.

Wow. Does that skill work with non-dress garb?

We are not friends. We are as far from friends as it is physically possible to be. And this is why I carry a jug of status-eradicating milk on me 24/7.

You. And literally everyone else here, given the chance. And I’m neither sweet, nor a pea. Nor am I anything you like.

Turns out Glaceons don’t sweat, so showers aren’t as necessary as they might otherwise be. And I get dunked in water so often over the course of my PvP related interactions anyways.

See, this is why I wear armor 24/7.

( Knights as Karens is not something I’ve thought of before today. Insightful!) Yes, madam! *runs to tailor shop, already has business there*

*still not looking* Touché. *begins writing scathing review of your total failure to deter the causes of good and righteousness*

*chivalrously averts gaze* I’m sure. Hast thou no dignity? “Fun”? “FUN”?! What is fun about other people’s suffering? Taking pleasure in other’s pointless pain is literally the definition of evil—oooh Perhaps I will write a strongly worded review to the dark Lord and explain how you are being...