Search results

Top hats are definitely top-tier hats, don’t get me wrong Your hat is great, but it looks like you need to button up a bit more before I’m allowed to look any further down.

Ahh, the rare hat that can compete with the tricorn.

No I’m not.

Yes. That.

WE’RE NOT MARRIED No, wait, that’s not how it works—you’re not my biological offspring, but that’s not the definition of “real son” Come back!

(be back in like ten minutes)

Iiiiit’s what you wanted I thought? *visible confusion* Look this is new territory for me okay!

I... I... *winces* Take you as a surrogate offspring and as such am justified in saying “I love you”! *winces*

That’s not how I do things, and I thought it would be inappropriate given that I’m not your biological father. But I should hope that actions speak louder than words!

Would I take you as a squire if I hated you? Would I defend you gainst those who would wish you ill if I hated you?

Yes. In the heat of battle no less. I presumed you were ready for it. Also I apologized afterwards, but I haven’t heard one penitent word pass your lips all day.

Abuse?? Ridiculous. I used you as a projectile on accident ONCE.

Good mood? I’ve seen cheerier faces on the High Council.

Fine, I’ll give it to you straight. *backhand slaps* Don’t be a jerk.

You can’t go treating people like crap. Not because I say so, but because the toes you step on today may be connected to the rear ends you have to kiss tomorrow. It won’t go well for you to be so contrarian and insulting all the time.

*has calm discussion of wholesome principles*

That’s it. We need to talk. *grabs ear again and takes you away*

*stews in anger* Force of habit. And this is temporary, remember? ... Temporary. *winces* Now Ssaannttoo, even if you’re not a Knight, that disrespectful shouting is uncalled for. Imagine if everyone went around shouting all the time. *grabs your ear* It’d be REALLY PAINFUL *releases* So, you...

WAS THAT— Oh... damnations.

(Fair enough)