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Morning, gents! I hope— What’s this? A villain? Not on my turf. En guarde! *arms crossbow (replacing point with eraser)*

Heat it up, we can make fries!

Fear not, I shan’t force you to consume bug stew. Vegetables, on the other hand... *focuses on fleeing*

Oh, but these are just raw potatoes. You can boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew...

*CLANG CLANG CLANG* Thank God for armor.

*holds you under arm, flees potato-geddon*

*pulls*

*sighs* *offers standard issue ten foot pole* Grab on.

*I offer the villager ten thousand potatoes for 500 emeralds*

*chucks shield at you to serve as a makeshift bug-raft*

So if I cast an air-breathing and poisonous touch spell on a lobster, it’d become a scorpion?

This is ridiculous. If only I knew Blizzard, I could control the weather! *holds shield above head and ushers @ssaannttoo to safety*

*freezes fresh-off-the-assembly-line beer can* Behold! Nexus’s bread!

*uses water bucket, douses potato launchers to short-circuit them*

War? En guarde! *blocks potatoes with shield, begins potato-launcher bashing mission* Disarm any potato launchers you can get your paws on! We’ve got a battle on our hands. *smashes*

Tell me if you see any in the crowd who purport to be knights, and I’ll flay them alive on the morrow. We still hold each other to the same standards... *sinister chuckle* Channeling your inner parrot, I see. Watch the hair... strand... hangey... thingie.

*gets conked by potato* Did I mention the right not to be assaulted? *warhammers potato launcher*

*frowns and nods* I don’t pretend to understand, but I don’t have to. You don’t impose your view on me, I don’t impose mine on you, we go on in harmony.

Okay, you’re dragging two seperate issues here, the issue of morality and the issue of me not actually being your father. I can’t really answer that either way. —If I was your father (and you seem to be under that impression), then yes, I would love you regardless of your actions. Twould be...

He absolutely shouldn’t have took that wager, and by all rights could’ve lost his life for it. And yes, he failed. We will all fail. It is the ability to pick ourselves up and try again, no matter how hard it may be, that is true virtue. I myself often fall short of virtue, but when I do, I do...