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(I shone TR273’s light, not your light wand)

I’m conducting interviews because... reasons. What’s being a Sylveon like?

“I don’t know, it shone for a mere fraction of a second before, in agony, I dropped the flashlight. Flashlights don’t even do UV light, right? That would be the sun, which I never stare at.”

“‘LUCKILY’. From a certain point of view, sure. I disrespectfully object.”

“Greetings, Sparta.”

*Birb Inc. stonks plummet*

“Nay, I don’t believe his bio weapons hath seen use within the last few days. Not that that assisteth mine predicament.” (OOC: no I totally see your changed profile pic, I’m just not at PvP in person)

*is hiding from PvP action at home, and listening in via the can-and-string trick* “No”

“Well, surely I, a strong Knight, should be able to defend myself from the undead with or without this flashlight.” *mails it to Ben909 in the hopes that he reveals some as yet unrevealed method of reversing the Eevirus*

“An evening it indeed is. Welcome to the cesspool of matrix-style revelations and tf warfare that is PvP.”

*still rubbing eyes* “Verily, any weapons or advantages gainst the undead would be most appreciated.” “For what?”

Hmm, what strange contraption is— *accidentally shines in eyes*

“Ah, my mistake. Apologies. Due process can slip the strained mind.”

Vampires?? Fie! *arms self with silver crossbolts and holy cross*

*gasps* ”You too??”

“Concerning the scan results report you forwarded me— To my knowledge, I’ve been human all my life save for 3 or 4 short spurts (which can be blamed on Meta). I do acknowledge that I’ve heard stories of people suffering TFs and mind wipes, and I’d have no way of guaranteeing that that hasn’t...

Doesn’t make sense to me, seeing as language comprehension is in the brain, but I’m not the scientist.

*acquires Unown to English translation sheet* *it doesn’t help* *shrugs* was worth a shot

*Verily, with bated breath I await yonder contraption’s operations conclusion!” ———————————————