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...whaaat? Change of subject. Good news. Yesterday, I met with the Council in person to discuss our... arrangement. Turns out, transformation was actually a really common curse used to incapacitate knights a couple hundred years ago, so the Council made an executive decision that, yes, knights...

(oops i think sleep deprivation does things to you) Ah, hello. You should've hired some knights. Then again, you couldn't get us to lie, soooo... I received your letter and your sorry attempt at premature transformation. Even without taking the meanness of your pitiful trick into account, you...

Are skunks rodents?

*8 hours ago* *letter arrives* Ehhhh I'm too exhausted I was up 24 hours straight (was true both in and out of character) so I'll worry about this tomorrow. *today* *yawns* *stretches in armor* Dang, did I seriously sleep with this on— Another letter! With the royal seal! Seems important...

*clops by Thrashy’s tavern in the dead of night* *dismounts horse* *pays horse bag of silver and an apple* *horse clops off* *removes helmet and wipes sweat away* Woooo... what a NIGHT. Council meeting overtime and the gold raiders came two weeks in advance. Consider me bushed. Heck, I’m...

*clops in on a horse* I'm human again! For the next few hours... Oooouch. That sucks.

Ooooof course. Look, you're not ACTUALLY good at negotiations, you just had this huge invincible trump card of being the only alchemist around. Which I'm about to change. Haha! ... *finishes mead, dons helmet* Imma go enjoy being human and see if there's any evil to vanquish before I settle down...

*exhales slowly through clenched teeth* That's a great offer, but, well, I don't really like transformation I mean it kinda sorta grew on me, sure, but keep in mind, before my involuntary stint as a rat, the source of my one unknightly disgrace was refusing to take your potion. Oh, speaking of...

Did you know, officially, "stick in the mud" is a compliment to a knight?

Wait what? No! No way! ... *examines potion curiously* *sips mead* I mean, I'm sorta tempted... No. Growing as a person is painful. I need a break. Besides, I'll suck as bad as I did as a rat. ...I suppose anything would be worth it to unravel the alchemist's secret— ...Welp. Guess it's...

Man, wouldn't it be convenient if there were 2 master alchemists? That way, there'd be competition, and the economy would benefit. Plus, if one dies, the whole trade doesn't die out. Man, if only there were any people interested in alchemy and willing to do an apprenticeship in the vicinity...

... Hehehe. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Maybe if I knew how to discern what a potion was with mere vision I would be more trusting. I wonder how I'd learn to do that... @metatherat is a master alchemist.

*accepts potion with a snarky look* Excellent. I'm not sure you know how an apprenticeship works, so lemme quick explain. I work for you for free until you deem me to have mastered your craft. Then, you endorse me and I get to go on working in said craft. It's a very good deal for both of us...

Indeed! And I'm allowing myself the rarest of rare pleasures: a drink! Risky for so many reasons but worth it here. *keeps eye on Meta*

*notices Meta has entered the tavern* *holds mead close*

... You know what? Perfect sobriety isn't strictly necessary! *tips 100% in gold bars out of elation, removes knight helmet and accepts drink*

Let me get this straight. I've finally returned to the full honor, respect, and size befitting a knight, and you believe a proper celebration would be to humiliate and dishonor myself via excessive intoxication, ALSO leaving me open to further transformation hijinks? *laughs*

Nay, I shall be far, far more careful in the future. I shall invest in enchantment-proofing my armor, and never consume anything unsafe, now matter how many towers I fall off of. Speaking of... *sends letter to @metatherat* "I formally concede. On my honor as a knight, I will never again try to...

(Excellent, thank you!)

Returned to humanity.