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Remember, it’s never the first suspect. And polygraphs always lie. And eyewitness testimony is flawed roughly 70% of the time. Good luck!

How goes the investigation? Any leads?

Banned for not knowing how to edit a post (You can hit the little “edit” button next to the bit at the bottom that says when you posted, then you can fix little issues like an extra “@“! Super convenient, no shame in using it.)

Banned for possessing illegally high amounts of cuteness without a permit

*Posts a stupid definition of "a" that undermines your argument*

*Objects that actually, animals think they're furries*

Sometimes, if inspiration strikes, I'll randomly bust out a story in the "Bad Genies" or pred v prey threads, but no, I don't consistently write stories. I have a webcomic in the works... but it's waaaaaay in pre development. I've only barely got the plot scaffolded and I can't even draw it good...

*takes potion* *squints at it* *sniffs it* *shakes the bottle and listens to the sound the shake makes* *marks bottle "unknown potion (perhaps HONOR RESTORATION?) only use IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" and stows it in knight satchel* Thank you.

Awww, thank you! It was nothing. Really.

*files for a restraining order to keep you 100 feet away from me at all times* Look, it's nothing personal.

A letter to Queen @Skittles... This letter is to inform you of the status of my quest. I set off on foot... The going was slow, as I've still not found a knightly steed. Of course, this didn't stop me. The sun and clouds rolled by me as I toiled tirelessly forward. The scent of fresh air, the...

Yes, my liege! *Sets off on epic quest*

As long as they are at different times, I accept. ...Wait a second, I wasn't brave at all! *re dons tabard and puts on fake hermit beard* I refuse your consolation till I've regained my honor!

Awww man, I was just starting to grow my beard out! ...Thanks! That hermit cave was getting kinda damp.

Ooh, did he lose all honor and respect among noblepeople? I'd love some company in exile!

I appreciate the gesture, good fellow, but hugs are wasted on such a wretch as I. Flee, lest my cowardice and dishonor rub off upon you and curse your life as it has cursed mine! ±0

Ah, thank you. I expected to pay handsomely but I'm certainly not complaining about this subversion of expectations. *pops cork* *stares* ... Nooo! I can't do it! I'm too much of a coward! Even mere temporary transformation freezes my blood to ponder! Oh the indignity! Here I am, ticket...

Wait there's potion that changes your appearance? Hahaha! Loophole! I shall be free of my thrice accursed contract yet! Where might I acquire some of this potion, and how permanent are its effects? Have you considered a career in knighthood? We knights always defend the helpless and...

*tosses you a small flail*

Yea! She wouldn't share state secrets with her most loyal knight! Don't trust her!