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Prosecution: WHAAAAAAT *Loud juror mutters, multiple judge gavel slams* Judge: What is the meaning of this? The defendant is incorporeal? Defense: Precisely! He can't physically influence anything outside of his place of residence! Judge: Meaning... Prosecution: Objection! This is...

*undignified scream* *flees castle empty handed*

Objection! If the witness claims to be unable to leave their place of residence... Then how is he standing, er, floating before us in this court? *excited jury muttering*

*commences castle infiltration for pizza recovery*

With all due respect, phone guy, you will maintain silence unless you are called to the stand. Phantom. At exactly 9:37, earwitnesses testify to hearing a gunshot at the fruit stand about a block away from your place of residence. A fox was then found dead at the scene. You claim to have been...

Hmmm... 9:36 is an awful early time to go to sleep. How sound a sleeper are you? Would you be able to sleep through, say, a 150 decibel gunshot?

*steals discarded pizza rations for Skittle's empire*

CROSS EXAMINATION Where were you last night, at 9:36 P.M.?

Damn it, that's why Costco was out of toilet paper.

Imagine somebody sneaks a peak at GriviesOtter's calendar, and there's a 2 hour block reserved for "feed leech".

Please pardon my post deletion, I get really trigger happy with the delete button when I fear I've muddled or messed with the natural flow of conversation.

How does one care for a pet leech? I'm curious now!

Granted. Unbeknownst to you, it shoots backwards. As soon as you fire it, you wreck yourself. I wish for the most powerful supercomputer in the world.

Ripe

Looks yum? I've never had that before. Gouda cheese.

YUM Vanilla wafers

I once offhandedly mentioned that I find mice and rats cute. My Father gave me a look of such horror and disgust that I shriveled up and never mentioned it again.

My liege! I feared the worst! Thank God you live! *gathers up weapons and supplies with much metallic clanking* Next time, issue a PSA when you plan to have tea. For your subordinates' sake.

No. No it was not.

Hey! HEY! No touching! ... *sets up camp to wait for the Queen*