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1000 ways to die


Fundamentalist Heretic
25. Implosion

Frank Gulotta

Send us your floppy
Playing Russian roulette with an AK47


aka Cutter Cat
Playing "Hot Potato" with a live hand grenade.


Fundamentalist Heretic
31. Turning off the containment field of a fusion reactor, especially if that reactor in inside your body.
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Well-Known Member
32. The old 'somebody installed a ridiculously powerful floor vent underneath an industrial strength ceiling fan in a busy office building' problem. You walk over the vent. It blows your necktie straight up in the air, where it gets caught in the ceiling fan. It slowly strangles you to death.


Fundamentalist Heretic
36. Your little sister comes home from the school library. She says she checked out a really old book that some crazy lady donated to the library last week. It's in a foreign language and she wants you to help her translate it, which she says she thought you can do since you got a C in German last year and the book kinda-sorta looks like it's written in German.

You ignore her because you're about to play this really awesome ultra-graphic zombie VR game everyone's talking about.

She gets pissed and storms off to her room. She finds a card stuffed inside the book. It says in plain English that it's actually a small scroll that will let her read the book. She says the words on the scroll and she can suddenly read the book's title: Ancient and Forbidden Magic. She opens the tome and finds a binding spell that'd be perfect to get her revenge on you.

Meanwhile, you're racking up kills and completely dominating the match leaderboard. Then suddenly, a zombie emerges from behind a pile of rubble and bites you. It hurts! It's not supposed to hurt! You try to tear off your VR headset and realize to your horror that you're no longer wearing one. More zombies arrive and tear you apart while you're still alive and screaming.

But there is no sweet embrace of death. You respawn, only to face the zombie horror once again. Your sister enters your room. Your VR headset is lying on your chair but you're not in the room. Your sister can see you on the screen, trying to survive the zombie onslaught. After an hour of match after match of this unending nightmare, your sister figures you've had enough. She opens the spellbook and begins to dismiss her spell when your fundamentalist parents hear her chanting eldrich incantations. They snatch the spellbook away, despite her protests, and throw it into the fireplace where it is consumed by flame.

Ever since then, every few minutes your otherworldly scream comes out of the fireplace every time you're killed by a zombie in the never-ending game.


Oh oh! I think I got one.

Sent to a realm where only the cinema's worst villains are there, you are constantly being killed by horror and action villains, and more of all genres of a never ending loop of chaos and discord. Each death new and horrifying, and each by the more and more devious villains with sinister, twisted realities.

1. Thanos
2. Red Skull
3. Jason Voorhees
4. Freddy Krueger
5. Alien

Need I say more?