1000 ways to die

[ssaannttoo]

r2-39

drowned in this wet ass pussy

 

[Faustus]

r2-40
Had an affair with Mickey Mouse. Turns out that Minnie is a teensy little bit yandere.

 

[Foxridley]

r2-41 Got stuck in a Mickey Mouse costume on a 105 degree day.

 

[Shyy]

Power reclining chair malfunction.

 

[Faustus]

r2-43
Calcium overdose caused body to grow 5,218 additional bones.

 

[ben909]

r2-44
tried to use spine as a weapon like on tv

 

[Foxridley]

r2-45
Portal closed when you were halfway through.

 

[ssaannttoo]

r2-46: Gayed too hard one night.

 

[Faustus]

r2-47
Death By Astrology, Part 1: Uranus is in the house of Capricorn.
(Smashed in the butt by a goat - cause of death: fractured pelvis)

 

[ssaannttoo]

r2-48 woke me up before ive had my tea

 

[Chad Firepaws]

r2-49 Stabbed by "Captain Literally" after using a certain word incorrectly too many times

 

[Faustus]

r2-50
Death by Astrology, Part 2: Mars in opposition to Pluto
(your mother hated your new vicious-looking dog, so she locked you in a room with it and it ate you.)

 

[Chad Firepaws]

r2 - 51: *monkey's paw curls*

 

[Foxridley]

R2-52
teleported without correcting for the velocity difference due to Earth’s rotation.

 

[ben909]

r2-53 believed in the cake

 

[Chad Firepaws]

r2-54: Smothered by subby otters

 

[Faustus]

r2-55: Autoerotic Exsanguination (ow.)

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2- D2: Killed by famous temperamental star wars android

 

[Foxridley]

R2-57
Stack overflow caused computer to explode.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2-58: Didn't turn in homework on time

 

[Faustus]

R2-59: Death by Astrology, Part 3: Mercury Ascendant

An antique clinical thermometer breaks while in your ass end, ant it gives you mercury poisoning.

 

[Foxridley]

R2-60
Was accidentally shot twice with a zat'nik'tel instead of once.

 

[Baron Tredegar]

R2-61

Used a Scroll of Icarian Flight but was unable to slow their fall.

 

[Firuthi Dragovic]

R2-62

Assaulted by four ninjas with cannons.

(I swear, I am SICK of seeing the Kuva Zarr in Warframe.)

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2-63 Slipped while singing Taylor Swift in the shower