1000 ways to die

[Faustus]

R2-64: Shrink ray malfunction. Accidentally made ribcage smaller than heart.

 

[Foxridley]

R2-65
Used a growth ray without accounting for the square-cube law.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2- 66 When summoning a demon, make sure there's no happy meals lying within your pentagram. Ronald Mcdonald is a lot less friendly after hours

 

[a sleepy kitty]

R2-67 do not go to a Star Wars convention dressed as Spock, or else a bunch of overweight, pimple-faced fanboys will hunt you down.

Edit: "Hmmm, wrong fandom you're dressed as. Kill you we must."

 

[Faustus]

R2-68
Did you know that aircraft engines occasionally get damaged because they suck up a bird?
It's called 'Bird Strike'.

Did you also know that the engineers test the engines to make sure they can survive?
They load a frozen turkey into a cannon and fire it through a running engine.

Well, I guess somebody didn't hear their superior properly because...
...somebody just tested an engine for NERD strike.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2- 69: The nicest way to die

 

[Faustus]

R2- 69: The nicest way to die

R2-70: stoned to death by a gang of religious zealots for attempting it.

 

[FloppyPony]

eat too much to get out again

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2-71: Opened up art requests, died of shame for the human race

 

[Faustus]

R2-71: Opened up art requests, died of shame for the human race

R2-73: Forget to post a death-number, or post the wrong one.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2- 74: Participated in Ikea's first space launch

 

[Faustus]

R2- 74: Participated in Ikea's first space launch

...stupid f***ing 'Mooplon' space shuttle. Where's the damn hex spanner? There was supposed to be a hex spanner in the kit!

 

[ssaannttoo]

R-75 Tried to confront the monster under your bed

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R-76 confronted the subby otter under your bed

 

[Faustus]

R2-77 - hiding under my bed when it breaks. Stalactites are nasty like that.

 

[Chad Firepaws]

R2-78 - attempted to time travel 5 minutes ago, but typed in "BC" instead of "AD"

 

[Faustus]

R2-79 - stopped living and become a mixed-up zombie.

 

[ssaannttoo]

r2-80 Gave me a headache and had to listen to me complain about it for the next 4 hours.

 

[ben909]

r2-81 tried to change their phone on a 240v outlet

 

[RamblingRenegade]

R2-82 tried to work on a car using harbor freight jack stands

 

[a sleepy kitty]

R2-83 was forcibly isolated and forced to listen to "Fish Heads" for 24 hours. Clawed ears out after 8 hours and died from blood loss.

 

[TrixieFox]

R2-83 was forcibly isolated and forced to listen to "Fish Heads" for 24 hours. Clawed ears out after 8 hours and died from blood loss.

R2-84 baby shark is all you can hear

 

[RamblingRenegade]

r2-85 depression

 

[Faustus]

r2-86 - all of the above.

 

[ssaannttoo]

R2-87 saw a cool tik tok trend and.. it didn’t go well