Would the owner of a red Toyota Star Cruiser, license plate number 7VDH154, please report to docking bay 6 on deck 2902A. Your landing lights are on.
Attention all passengers: we apparently seem to have a pinhole vacuum leak in the hull. Now there's nothing to fear, in fact, don't even think of panicking. You'll use up more oxygen like that. Just calmly go back to your cabins, and lay down, taking short, shallow breaths. The leak should be slow enough, and we should have enough reserve oxygen if you follow my orders then we'll all make it safe to the nearest shipyards for repair. Albeit a little lightheaded.
Sir, we've lost contact with Deck 404.
[SPOILER="irony"][/SPOILER]Originally Posted by ursiphiliac
Attention deck 2535A. Your quest for the ultimate rave is shaking the rivets loose from the decks above and below you. Please turn it down, or we will will send in the police.
"Deck 64 stop racing go-karts on all the rainbows, it is bad for those rainbows and in general a very dangerous activity, all of us on the ship kindly ask you stop this now."
"For reasons he refuses to elaborate upon, the captain has seen fit to decompress all sectors of deck 34. This deck has been sealed off, and will not be re-inhabited. The captain advised that any members of other decks in possession of any 'printed materials' from deck 34 dispose of them in the nearest incinerator."
"Deck 1337, Please check your communications gear for defects. None of your written transmissions have been legible."
"Deck 300, the ambassador we sent you has not returned. Please confirm that he arrived in your city, and, provided he is able, send him back as soon as possible. Also, it appears that many of your residents have missed reservations on deck 666, at the Hell restaurant. Please make sure to call in the future if you have a change of plans."
"Whoever thought it was a good idea to relocate the ship's library to deck 451, please report to the bridge. The captain wants to have a word with you."
"The captain would like to remind you that deck 51 is a myth, and that any rumors or claims regarding such a deck are to be reported immediately."
Will Deck 97 please stop playing that annoying music over and over again? Or we'll have to send in a herd of fuckin ugly redshirts. This Captain Chin Shinjuku signing off.
Attention deck 0079A. We don't have a White Base, please stop screaming about how you're gonna jump onto it.
Also, you're mecha development project is seriously REALLY LOUD, and is disturbing the other decks. Please stop stomping around.
Atention deck 701.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
You people ae annoying as shit.
Watch Dogs? Transistor? Mario Kart 8? Nah, fuck it, I'm playing Golden on the Vita...still. This new generation is fucking weird.
"Attention deck 49, also known as the bathroom mirror replacement storage deck, BLOODYMARY! BLOODYMARY! BLOODYMARY! We will be holding funeral services for you shortly"
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