I live, I die, I live again
Well, by now there is an update: The backlog (which reportedly was building up for WEEKS) is taking so damn long to process that it'll be quicker to just transfer everything to a new server, and as long as they're doing that they may as well also update the site's version of MySQL, which will reportedly improve performance internally.
Here's the direct quote from the FA announcement:
The processing rate of the backlogged data made it clear that migrating to a new server would be a faster thing to do.
Migration status is at 53%. Until the migration is over FA will have to remain in readonly mode.
Using the opportunity to upgrade from MySQL 5.5.x to 5.6.x which brings a number of performance improvements across the board, some of which are directly related to our current problem.
Please don't put words in my mouth. It was not intended to be insulting like that, nor did I imply that everyone is using FA for porn.Certainly is nice of a staff member to trivialize issues that this causes for and talk down to people who don't just use FA to fap.