(Cross posted from my FA Journal)
1) We love cupcakes.
2) We'll invest the money into keeping the site alive, powered by it's ultra phat 100Mbit connection pipe.
3) If our current donation counter hits $1,000 by the end of July we will create an all new section on the site, a section devoted to myself (and possibly other admins) being humiliated in random, horrible ways. Ways that you, the community, will get to vote on it.
So long as it's PG, of course. :)
4) The longer FA is alive the more reasons it gives me reason to yell at the coders to make improvements.
5) Our server's seeing eye-dog needs surgery.
6) We will send locusts to your house if you don't don't cough up a buck.
7) We REALLY love cupcakes.
8) We're obtaining more coders and working on revisions to speed, security and highly demanded features!
9) SHOW US ON THE DOLL WHERE THEY TOUCHED YOU!
10) Fender will be sad if you don't.
11) We need more gerbil feed to power the system.
12) Clinical studies have shown people who do not donate stand at higher risk to contract the deadly Motaba virus.
13) Because we didn't steal your bike that one time.
14) Servers are expensive.
15) One day, we'll cure the world of the dreaded gum disease GINGIVITIS using the power of furry smut.
16) Ants will bite you.
17) Failure to donate to FA may cause gravity to cease functioning.
18) If FA goes away, why... you'll never get to see me making up these stupid lists!
19) We want to start a tree farm and grow hard drives to expand capacity. It's true! Gigabytes do grow on trees.
20) Elephants will rampage in New Delhi. A fruit stand will perish in the ensuing chaos.
21) Men are from Mars, Donations are from Venus
22) We love each and every one of you.
23) The server is expensive and we want to make sure you don't have to see ads. You guys don't like ads, right?
24) Fender will sneak into your window at night and touch you in your happy place in an attempt to make you smile.
Note: You can not sue if you do not approve of this. It's in the TOS. Really!
25) Llamas of the world agree: Donating to FA is COOL!
26) Every time you donate an angel gets its wings.
27) Fur Affinity goes excellent with cheese and wine, and you want to enjoy that privilege now until forever!
28) To Affinity, AND BEYOND!
29) You'll enjoy watching Disney/Pixar sue us over 28), and the resulting drama will make for a most excellent mini-series (coming in 2008 on the FOX Network!).
30) We all love watching Family Guy.
31) Crayons taste like purple.
32) Donations are one click away!
33) We'll add groups! And multiple user icons! And more color themes! BUT ONLY IF YOU DONATE!
34) We swear, SWEAR... that if you donate we'll never pick your nose.
35) We'll never, ever attempt to bring back disco.
37) You can _____ if you want to, you can _____ your friends behind.
38) Did you notice 36 went missing? We've notified the police and are trying to track it down.
39) Fur Affinity fought bravely in the Vietnam War and hasn't been able to maintain a steady job since.
40) We will make every attempt to pet and snuggle all things cute.
41) Alkora will pierce my nipples with doorknockers if that donation button doesn't get a least a few clicks.
42) Life, the Universe... everything.
43) We'll add in community customizable 404 messages!
44) We may actually fix a bug or thirty! No, really!
45) FA vows to battle crime and injustice on the streets of Neo Tokyo and vows to put an end to the Yakuza through a series of seminars focusing on family values.
46) We will never, ever turn to the Dark Side.
47) We'll post pictures of Fender with $20 bills sticking out of his underpants and
48) We have a major, MAJOR upgrade to the entire system planned that will blow your mind, but we won't post it unless you donate.
Because we're mean like that.
49) Take me to your leader.
50) This is one long ass list, isn't it?
51) I will rewrite all the text on the site and make it kick ass. In fact, I'm already doing that right now! DONATE ANWAY!
52) FA will see to it every state outlaws fleas.
53) We'll ensure that New Coke never, EVER comes back. Even if we have to kill.
54) Every attempt will be made to locate Al Roker's fat and attempt to mold a newer, better Al out of what used to comprise his stomach.
55) Our host will get paid on time, and that will make hime a very, VERY happy ferret.
56) We'll scientifically re-engineer the digestive system and bowels so that all farts smell like warm, freshly baked cookies.
57) We will love you forever and promise to take care of you, feed you, buy you toys and take you out for walks.
58 to 50,000) We will make this the best god damn website the fandom has ever seen.
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