Sage Sylvaine
New Member
Hey All,
I am looking for critique on my first real piece of "furry" writing (though by far not my first piece of writing). I am planning to submit it for publication in June. It's pretty tame as far as romances go, certainly within a PG-13 rating if not PG.
Here are the details:
Russell And The Wolf: A Romance Novelette
16,275 words
Synopsis: When a wolf breaks into Russell’s cabin during a storm, he enlists friends to fight back. But as he develops feelings for her, he tries to call off the attack. Soon, rumors spread that he is harboring a wolf of the kind that devastated the village generations prior. Will he be able to keep their love a secret, or will the village turn against him?
Here's the first 5% of the book:
Chapter 1 - The Storm
Russell awoke to the sound of a storm outside his window. The water was banging in relentless waves on the roof of his lodge, like an angry customer on a shop window after closing. Though his fur was thick, he was glad to be warm and dry inside. The hearth still radiated quite some heat from across the room, though he had not tended it since he had fallen asleep several hours before. As the cinders glowed in the fireplace, Russell wrapped himself in his bedsheets, drew in the warm air, and fell asleep once again.
Russell was a red fox, thin and taller than average. His home was an hour’s hike from Farvul, the nearby fox village. This put him far enough to be removed from the bustle of the market and shops, yet close enough that his occasional errands were more of a leisurely stroll than a long journey. Though he lived not far from the main road, he rarely had many passersby, as his lodge was tucked behind a small bridge over a glen. As such, he also didn’t get many house guests, and the visitors he did get were usually townsfolk visiting on business. But there could be no townsfolk, no visitors, no business expected in this tempest. Russell had planned to stay warm inside, stoking the fire until the storm let up.
Russell woke again, this time with a jolt. He had heard a thump that he may have dreamt; he could not be certain. Though he came to his senses quickly, he was unsure of what had caused him to wake. As he sat bolt-upright in bed, his tall ears scanned the room. For a while, all he could hear was the sound of rain rushing down the cedar roof, pooling outside his window, cascading down the hill into the glen. He found the pitter-patter of the rainwater calming, and before he could think better of it, Russell slowly began to drift back asleep.
At once he heard a loud bang and he jumped nearly a foot above his bed. Russell was awake now. The noise had come from the next room over - that much he could be sure of - but the sound of the storm had drowned out much of the detail. From his bedside table, Russell grabbed a lantern in his left paw and a dagger in his right. He lit the lantern and sprinted quietly toward the door to the main quarters.
Russell opened the door, peeking gingerly around it with the lamp. The kitchen was still, and the only sounds to be heard were of Russell’s rapid breathing and the rain lashing against the front windows. Russell stepped out into the room. Water streamed down the front of his house, the faint moonlight refracting through the windows and dancing on his hardwood floor. A large iron anvil was illuminated in the center of his room, and in the far corner were several tools and weapons on display. To the left was a large trunk and a brick forge, and to the right hung a collection of iron pans and cookware.
“Who goes there?” Russell shouted into the room. After a pause with no response, he shouted a threat: “I don’t just make these, I can use them too.”
But the only response was that of the rain. After a minute of listening and scanning the room, Russell heard nothing. He raised a paw to his ear to clear it out, and lowered it in a sleepy sigh.
Russell approached the weapons rack at the opposite corner of the room. If he got into a swordfight, would the attacker be large or small? Would they be nimble or heavy-set? Russell’s fear of a real encounter began to dissolve as he fantasized about his weapons.
Suddenly, Russell took a hard blow to the back of the head and fell to the wooden floor, dropping his lamp and dagger. By the time he realized what was happening, he was pinned to his back under several hundred pounds of force. With no weapon and no means of escape, Russell tried to make out his captor.
He caught a momentary sight of two gleaming eyes and a dripping canine face above him, then the lantern burnt out and the room went dark. By the heaviness of its breath and the balance of its weight on all fours, he could tell that the assailant was giant, feral and powerful.
In a growling undertone, the wolf spoke to the fox in the darkness...
***
Read the rest of Chapter 1 here:
https://sagesylvaine.netlify.com/private/russell-and-the-wolf-preview-302853.pdf
https://sagesylvaine.netlify.com/private/russell-and-the-wolf-preview-302853.epub
(If you would like to read the rest of the story, Reply or DM, or Email me at sage.sylvaine@gmail.com for the full book!)
I am looking for critique on my first real piece of "furry" writing (though by far not my first piece of writing). I am planning to submit it for publication in June. It's pretty tame as far as romances go, certainly within a PG-13 rating if not PG.
Here are the details:
Russell And The Wolf: A Romance Novelette
16,275 words
Synopsis: When a wolf breaks into Russell’s cabin during a storm, he enlists friends to fight back. But as he develops feelings for her, he tries to call off the attack. Soon, rumors spread that he is harboring a wolf of the kind that devastated the village generations prior. Will he be able to keep their love a secret, or will the village turn against him?
Here's the first 5% of the book:
Chapter 1 - The Storm
Russell awoke to the sound of a storm outside his window. The water was banging in relentless waves on the roof of his lodge, like an angry customer on a shop window after closing. Though his fur was thick, he was glad to be warm and dry inside. The hearth still radiated quite some heat from across the room, though he had not tended it since he had fallen asleep several hours before. As the cinders glowed in the fireplace, Russell wrapped himself in his bedsheets, drew in the warm air, and fell asleep once again.
Russell was a red fox, thin and taller than average. His home was an hour’s hike from Farvul, the nearby fox village. This put him far enough to be removed from the bustle of the market and shops, yet close enough that his occasional errands were more of a leisurely stroll than a long journey. Though he lived not far from the main road, he rarely had many passersby, as his lodge was tucked behind a small bridge over a glen. As such, he also didn’t get many house guests, and the visitors he did get were usually townsfolk visiting on business. But there could be no townsfolk, no visitors, no business expected in this tempest. Russell had planned to stay warm inside, stoking the fire until the storm let up.
Russell woke again, this time with a jolt. He had heard a thump that he may have dreamt; he could not be certain. Though he came to his senses quickly, he was unsure of what had caused him to wake. As he sat bolt-upright in bed, his tall ears scanned the room. For a while, all he could hear was the sound of rain rushing down the cedar roof, pooling outside his window, cascading down the hill into the glen. He found the pitter-patter of the rainwater calming, and before he could think better of it, Russell slowly began to drift back asleep.
At once he heard a loud bang and he jumped nearly a foot above his bed. Russell was awake now. The noise had come from the next room over - that much he could be sure of - but the sound of the storm had drowned out much of the detail. From his bedside table, Russell grabbed a lantern in his left paw and a dagger in his right. He lit the lantern and sprinted quietly toward the door to the main quarters.
Russell opened the door, peeking gingerly around it with the lamp. The kitchen was still, and the only sounds to be heard were of Russell’s rapid breathing and the rain lashing against the front windows. Russell stepped out into the room. Water streamed down the front of his house, the faint moonlight refracting through the windows and dancing on his hardwood floor. A large iron anvil was illuminated in the center of his room, and in the far corner were several tools and weapons on display. To the left was a large trunk and a brick forge, and to the right hung a collection of iron pans and cookware.
“Who goes there?” Russell shouted into the room. After a pause with no response, he shouted a threat: “I don’t just make these, I can use them too.”
But the only response was that of the rain. After a minute of listening and scanning the room, Russell heard nothing. He raised a paw to his ear to clear it out, and lowered it in a sleepy sigh.
Russell approached the weapons rack at the opposite corner of the room. If he got into a swordfight, would the attacker be large or small? Would they be nimble or heavy-set? Russell’s fear of a real encounter began to dissolve as he fantasized about his weapons.
Suddenly, Russell took a hard blow to the back of the head and fell to the wooden floor, dropping his lamp and dagger. By the time he realized what was happening, he was pinned to his back under several hundred pounds of force. With no weapon and no means of escape, Russell tried to make out his captor.
He caught a momentary sight of two gleaming eyes and a dripping canine face above him, then the lantern burnt out and the room went dark. By the heaviness of its breath and the balance of its weight on all fours, he could tell that the assailant was giant, feral and powerful.
In a growling undertone, the wolf spoke to the fox in the darkness...
***
Read the rest of Chapter 1 here:
https://sagesylvaine.netlify.com/private/russell-and-the-wolf-preview-302853.pdf
https://sagesylvaine.netlify.com/private/russell-and-the-wolf-preview-302853.epub
(If you would like to read the rest of the story, Reply or DM, or Email me at sage.sylvaine@gmail.com for the full book!)
