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A New Werewolf - looking for feedback

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ellaerna

Guest
Hello all.

I've been working on my weregirl, Vala, for sometime now and finally got around to writing up a bio sheet for her. I don't have the backstory all sorted yet, but basically it's a bastardization of the "raised by wolves" trope. She is a human who used to live with the other humans in the sky (sky-isles) but crashed into the lower world (creepy lovecraftian world of horrors) and was adopted by a pack of the Moon-Touched (werewolves). She is referred to as a "changeling" since she uses magic to change into a wolf instead of naturally being one.

I'm planning on writing out a story for her and her world, so any feedback is appreciated. I don't think she's a bad character, but I'm the creator so I'm biased. Also, just the more I talk about her and her world, the more fleshed out it will become. Let me know what you think.

Name: Vala
Age: 20-something, probably
Gender: female
Species: Changeling (werewolf)

- Height: 5'4"
- Weight: 150 lbs, give or take
- Build: Muscular, a bit pear-shaped
- Bust: between A and B
- Skin: pitch black
- Hair: usually keeps it shaved completely bald, but when she lets it grow it is black and wild
- Markings: she is covered in freckles, though they are hard to see against her skin tone
- Eyes: bright, pale yellow.
- Other features: While she has no permanent tattoos, she will often cover herself in runes while practicing the rites of her people.

- Height: Variable, standard is about 5’ 9”
- Weight: scales with her height
- Build: more muscular than but mimicking her human form. (every day is leg day)
- Bust: B cup
- Fur: medium length and thick, base color is pitch black
- Hair: usually none. At most she’ll have a black shock of hair between her ears.
- Ears: typical pointy wolf ears, the insides are pink with charcoal tufts.
- Tail: typical wolf tail
- Markings: she has flecks of charcoal fur across her snout, shoulders, back, and thighs, but is otherwise completely black
- Eye color: bright, pale yellow
- Other features: She has control over her transformation and can thus change aspects of herself like overall size, teeth and claw length, etc as the situation demands.

- Height: varies from standard wolf to dire wolf size
- Weight: scales with height
- Build: wolf-like?? Broad shoulders, big paws, lean
- Bust: n/a
- Fur: thick and coarse pitch black fur
- Hair: n/a
- Ears: the insides are reddish-pink with charcoal tufts
- Tail: typical wolf tail
- Markings: she has flecks of charcoal fur across her snout, front legs, back, and hind legs, but is otherwise completely black
- Eye color: bright, pale yellow with black sclera
- Other features: She can control overall size, but most features stay the same. Has longer, sharper teeth than her average anthro form. In this form she retains less of her mental faculties.

Behavior and Personality: Primarily, Vala is a hyper, dorky, almost innocent puppy of a person. However, that doesn’t mean she can’t be scary as all get out. Living in a Lovecraftian hellscape has definitely warped her mind- or at least given her very different priorities and morals than her upper world brethren. What might seem like a horrible breach of humanity to some would seem commonplace or mundane to her. In fact, most of the horrible things she does is with either puppyish glee or bored disinterest. She’s very inquisitive and loves learning new things, even if that means invading someone’s mind or dissecting a live specimen in order to obtain that knowledge.

Despite originally being a citizen of the sky isles, and the Moon-Touched openly admitting to murdering her birth parents, she is incredibly loyal to them. She fully sees herself as part of the pack and understands their methods as necessary evils. Such evils she herself has adopted as part of her service to the Old Gods. Still, she harbors no hatred for other species, and is actually quite intrigued by them. Not unlike Ariel from the Little Mermaid, she is fascinated with the world above and is happy to make new friends as she explores this foreign land. Despite being quick to befriend, she is no push over, and she will become very violent and rash when she feels she’s been crossed. Most would ascribe her behavior to child-like naiveté, oblivious to social norms and procedure.

Skills:
- Skilled Magician: As an acolyte of the Old Gods, Vala knows the magic of power, life, and mind. It is what allows her to transform, but also to heal, read and share thoughts, and tap into the eldritch powers within her world. However, no spell is guaranteed to work.
- Adept Hunter: Hunting is a base skill that all are required to learn in the pack. As such, she knows how to track, capture, and kill many different creatures as necessary.
- Fast Learner: her mind is sharp, picking up basic skills more quickly than the average person. Of course, higher level tasks will take more time and practice. Her specialty is languages.

Weaknesses:
- Perils of Power: Lower world magic comes at a price. In addition to being considered crazy, her spells can all have dire consequences if not done properly. Strange phenomenon, unintended side effects, and even backfiring can all result from poor casting.
- Pup in Wolf’s Clothing: Vala is still very young and incredibly oblivious when it comes to the upper world and its workings. Often she is too open with her nature, too trusting of those around her, and overall too inexperienced for the tasks she tries to take on.
- Strong, but not Tough: While Vala has decent mental and physical strength, especially when she changes, she has never really been tough. She doesn’t take hits well and gets fatigued easily.

History: To Be Written

Clothing/Personal Style: The Moon-touched do not share man’s need for modesty, and so Vala refrains from clothing when she can get away with it. When she does cover herself, her clothes are little more than rags. Her shifting nature causes most of them to be torn and stretched, hanging loosely about her petite frame until she shifts. The one garment that she does care for is an oversized cloak made of dyed leather and trimmed in animal fur. It trails on the ground when she is in human form, sleeves covering her hands and hood obscuring her face.

Goal: learn all the things!
Profession: explorer primarily, but she also works as a mercenary and guide.

Birthdate: unknown
Star sign: unknown

Relations: two dead parents, and a whole pack of werewolves as adopted family
Significant other: n/a
Orientation: pansexual
 

Taku

Can't hear you beneath the rumble of the bass
You say your looking for feedback, but it looks to me you have this very well thought out. If you're trying to start writing a story, then by all means just start! You already have everything you need as far as a character. You have gone to great lengths to define this fursona, while I am yet to truly meet mine . I guess if I wanted to add some type of thing, look up what moon phase you were born under and use that as a trait that empowers you.
 
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ellaerna

Guest
You say your looking for feedback, but it looks to me you have this very well thought out. If you're trying to start writing a story, then by all means just start! You already have everything you need as far as a character. You have gone to great lengths to define this fursona, while I am yet to truly meet mine . I guess if I wanted to add some type of thing, look up what moon phase you were born under and use that as a trait that empowers you.
Thank you. It helps my process a lot to just put things out there. And while I try to keep things balanced, a fresh set of eyes might pick up on things that I haven't noticed- tropes that I've fallen into, contradictions in character and lore, or even the dreaded Mary Sue. Plus, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy getting positive feedback as well. ^.^

Vala is a character based around an RPG that I'm doing with friends, so it was easy to flesh her out. She's just a character and not a 'sona per say, which I think makes things easier. And I do plan on writing up some stuff for her- particularly some transformation tales- if I ever get off my lazy ass and do it. :p
 
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Pikuhana

Guest
I personally think that you have a great character right there! I can almost animate this in my head... I personally cannot be creative on my own, I need someone to essentially commission me for something and then I can some up with creative solutions and designs for the specific category. Because that entire first post is something that the average person couldn't come up with, I give high regards for it.
 
E

ellaerna

Guest
I personally think that you have a great character right there! I can almost animate this in my head... I personally cannot be creative on my own, I need someone to essentially commission me for something and then I can some up with creative solutions and designs for the specific category. Because that entire first post is something that the average person couldn't come up with, I give high regards for it.
Thank you very much!
 
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