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ThiccPinkPunkGoddess

PunK me, PunK you
Why is it when you do your hardest to try an be social with people...with your friends...but then..they don't reciprocate?

Why do I bother to stay around, but when I get depressive and want to disappear from the world...they crawl back to me like fucking cockroaches and beg me to say. Tell me how much they would miss me or how my friends would miss me OR HOW EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS EVER IGNORED ME IN MY MISERABLE LIFE WOULD MISS ME!

You won't miss me at all... You just want to look like you tried your best and appear to be the hero while stopping me from wanting to walk into oncoming traffic; or sleep on the train tracks close to the house...or pack up whatever I can and disappear into the night. No one wants to be the reason why their friend is either dead or AWOL....but why put them in that position in the first place by ignoring them?

For someone with major abandonment issues, I'll always feel as though I'm left out on my own. Even my own boyfriend barely acknowledges my existence.... Do you know how hard it is? Living everyday knowing that the person you love with everything will hardly speak a word to you? Or how for almost a month straight, your self proclaimed best friend won't even speak to you?

Why is it so hard to find people that want to care about you? Am I that bad of a person to where I must be shunned? I try to do good. I give people all of time I have, even when I'd rather not. I'm trying to do my best... I'm trying to be all that I can be... BUT IS IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE!?

Why will no one hear what I have to say? Why won't they notice that I am lonely and all I want is some company and companionship? Just as my birth parents did to me, everyone in my life is abandoning me. Yet, when I'm silent...I'm the one who is having a problem.

Want me to talk out my issues!? HOW CAN I WHEN NO ONE IS THERE!? Only when I'm breaking down to my lowest point....that's when you listen. That's when you care. That's when you want to lecture. But not when I want to just have a normal conversation and talk to you without bursting into tears. I just want someone to be there for me when I really need them.

All I am to people are a sounding board and one to only be social with just because I am there. I'm not even a person to these people... I'm a shadow in human form.
 

SirGavintheFurred

The Comment Cavalry
It sounds like you're going through a lot of awful stuff. I could not guarantee you that I could solve your problem, but if you want to message me about your problems I could try to help. If you or anyone else ever wanted to talk about your problems or a bad day you had you can message me and I'll do my absolute best to respond to it as quick as I can and as fast. I don't like seeing others upset especially not like this.
 

Yvvki

Sassy lesser panda.
Why is it when you do your hardest to try an be social with people...with your friends...but then..they don't reciprocate?

Why do I bother to stay around, but when I get depressive and want to disappear from the world...they crawl back to me like fucking cockroaches and beg me to say. Tell me how much they would miss me or how my friends would miss me OR HOW EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS EVER IGNORED ME IN MY MISERABLE LIFE WOULD MISS ME!

You won't miss me at all... You just want to look like you tried your best and appear to be the hero while stopping me from wanting to walk into oncoming traffic; or sleep on the train tracks close to the house...or pack up whatever I can and disappear into the night. No one wants to be the reason why their friend is either dead or AWOL....but why put them in that position in the first place by ignoring them?

For someone with major abandonment issues, I'll always feel as though I'm left out on my own. Even my own boyfriend barely acknowledges my existence.... Do you know how hard it is? Living everyday knowing that the person you love with everything will hardly speak a word to you? Or how for almost a month straight, your self proclaimed best friend won't even speak to you?

Why is it so hard to find people that want to care about you? Am I that bad of a person to where I must be shunned? I try to do good. I give people all of time I have, even when I'd rather not. I'm trying to do my best... I'm trying to be all that I can be... BUT IS IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE!?

Why will no one hear what I have to say? Why won't they notice that I am lonely and all I want is some company and companionship? Just as my birth parents did to me, everyone in my life is abandoning me. Yet, when I'm silent...I'm the one who is having a problem.

Want me to talk out my issues!? HOW CAN I WHEN NO ONE IS THERE!? Only when I'm breaking down to my lowest point....that's when you listen. That's when you care. That's when you want to lecture. But not when I want to just have a normal conversation and talk to you without bursting into tears. I just want someone to be there for me when I really need them.

All I am to people are a sounding board and one to only be social with just because I am there. I'm not even a person to these people... I'm a shadow in human form.
I feel the same way actually... how about you pm me your discord. I'm always open to talk about whatever on it. ♡
 
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