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Quinton45

New Member
This is an odd issue to bring up, but I need to know I'm not alone. I am a 19 year old guy with social anxiety and an insecure-attachment style, and this aversion to sex is another one of my weird issues. When people talk about it and say it's "just sex", I feel totally inferior to them because the idea of "casual sex" was always a bit weird to me. I would say I have a moderate case of this, bad enough to cause me major discomfort, but not necessarily enough to stop me from doing it.


I've had this most of my life, and I used to think it stemmed exclusively from my social anxiety, but now I think other issues may be to blame. #1 on the list is obvious, I am very shy in general, and you can see how that could make someone sexually inhibited. #4 is interesting, as sex marks the beginning of adulthood in way; you are now a mature adult, and I guess the idea of that is just a bit scary for me, because I still feel like a vulnerable child inside. What really caught my eye was #5 though; I was never really sheltered, but because of the asociality of autism, I never really went out and I didn't have many friends, so I just wasn't as exposed to this as my peers. These are all viable causes.

The strangest thing is this doesn't apply to porn; I can watch gangbangs and all sorts of weird fetishes all day, but the idea of actually getting intimate with a girl in person just feels out of place for me. So long as I know a friend well enough, I can even freely discuss porn preferences. I think once I've lost my V I'll come to understand that there is nothing to be afraid of, and it's natural.

Another thing to mention is that I've always been sort of timorous around girls in general, dunno if it's relevant. But yeah, I just feel intimidated by it.

Am I alone? I'm too nervous to even bring it up to anyone in person, fearing that they will laugh in my face.
 

The_biscuits_532

big anxious kitty
This is an odd issue to bring up, but I need to know I'm not alone. I am a 19 year old guy with social anxiety and an insecure-attachment style, and this aversion to sex is another one of my weird issues. When people talk about it and say it's "just sex", I feel totally inferior to them because the idea of "casual sex" was always a bit weird to me. I would say I have a moderate case of this, bad enough to cause me major discomfort, but not necessarily enough to stop me from doing it.


I've had this most of my life, and I used to think it stemmed exclusively from my social anxiety, but now I think other issues may be to blame. #1 on the list is obvious, I am very shy in general, and you can see how that could make someone sexually inhibited. #4 is interesting, as sex marks the beginning of adulthood in way; you are now a mature adult, and I guess the idea of that is just a bit scary for me, because I still feel like a vulnerable child inside. What really caught my eye was #5 though; I was never really sheltered, but because of the asociality of autism, I never really went out and I didn't have many friends, so I just wasn't as exposed to this as my peers. These are all viable causes.

The strangest thing is this doesn't apply to porn; I can watch gangbangs and all sorts of weird fetishes all day, but the idea of actually getting intimate with a girl in person just feels out of place for me. So long as I know a friend well enough, I can even freely discuss porn preferences. I think once I've lost my V I'll come to understand that there is nothing to be afraid of, and it's natural.

Another thing to mention is that I've always been sort of timorous around girls in general, dunno if it's relevant. But yeah, I just feel intimidated by it.

Am I alone? I'm too nervous to even bring it up to anyone in person, fearing that they will laugh in my face.
Same here dude. I identify as Demisexual and you've pretty much described exactly how I feel.

The only difference that comes to mind is that in recent years I've come to realise I never really has many "real" crushes - most were just me trying to convince myself I did. Maybe two or three were genuine?

Anxiety almost certainly played a factor too though, and like you I have no issue with viewing NSFW content. I have brought up my issues with making it on the forums before but I'm fine with viewing it just as much as the average person.
 
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