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Advice for making friends?

starsight

Member
Trying to keep the context short but im a wordy person.

Over time I've gradually lost most of my close friends and it sucks. I've been branching out to try and meet new people, but I'm having such a hard time building relationships.. When I was in school, I found out most of the friends I made were furries, so here I decided to try just jumping in to the fandom to see if it would be easier for me to find people that I click with.

I have a couple cons coming up, and I'm really hoping I can do something different to actually meet people and see if i can find friends, because usually each year I just stick with my so and see everyone else only hanging out with their own friends.. I also have never been to a furry con before, only anime, so the fur con will be a new experience for me.

Does anyone have any advice?
 

Rina_Lagartija

Active Member
Something that worked for me, was to start a nice conversation with people, something like: ah! I like your shoes/shirt etc.. and then asking things like where did they bought it, until I found something else to talk about (mostly something about them and that is not too invasive or too creepy :eek: ) most people like to talk about themselves n_n but of course, some people will not let you talk about you, if you find someone who asks you questions to you too :eek: that kind of people is really interested in you n.n but again, this is what worked for me :eek: If you haven't tried it, maybe you could try on your own way :D
 

GarthTheWereWolf

Captious Lycanthrope of Forum Legend
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NightTripper

Guest
Talk to people. Don't be afraid to open up and connect. Also don't be afraid of rejection.
It's a game of percentages eventually something will work out for you.
Never give up, Never surrender.
 

Xavier Fox

Active Member
It's difficult I know, but with fur meets and cons make it known that you are new or don't know anyone.
There will usually be someone there to help.
Wether they have a telegram group or whatever, just get in there and identify yourself.
We are a friendly community, I'd like to think that people are there to help and make you feel welcome because they do at meets I've been to.

At the LFMs in London we have a newcomer area. If people make themselves known then there are people to hang out with, be introduced to others and play games with.
I suit at the meets and love to see newcomers.
You do see a few people that are slow to come forward and a bit shy and I love trying to break down the barriers and make them feel welcome.
Making people feel good and part of the meet feels great as well!
 

Keefur

aka Cutter Cat
If you want to make friends, you need to start with really fresh body parts. Just kidding...
Try to keep a friendly and positive attitude. Nobody likes a grumpy "down" attitude person. You don't have to go over the top, but try to keep things on the plus side. Don't "judge" people. If someone says that they're into something you don't like, just kind of be neutral about it, but don't be critical. People's likes are core values and it is virtually impossible to change someone's core values. Try to stay away from political and religious discussions. The political climate right now is toxic and has cost many friendships... even long established ones. Don't be too forward. Unless you are asked, don't just impose yourself into someone's plans. If you are comfortable enough to ask someone to spend some time with you, then suggest something neutral like lunch or a coffee/snack. The main thing is moderation. Don't take responses to extremes. Since I am a greymuzzle and have a lot of life experiences, I personally handle situations differently according to the personalities of the people I encounter, but that comes with age and experience.
 

Pipistrele

Smart batto!
As a couple primary rules, be a more active talker and ask more questions. The "ice" won't break itself - throw more reasons for people to talk with you and learn to keep conversation rolling. Not necessarily a guarantee that people will actually like your company, but definitely a way to ensue that they get to both know you and tell more about themselves, which are two arguably most important things for establishing a friendship.
 

BobTheGodly

Professional dabbler
Start with a joke. "Do you want to hear something funny?" almost always gets a yes, and a smile. Getting people to laugh is a great way to make a first impression. Also, try to pick a joke you personally like, but relatable as well.
 

Shadow of Bucephalus

Banned
Banned
Trying to keep the context short but im a wordy person.

Over time I've gradually lost most of my close friends and it sucks. I've been branching out to try and meet new people, but I'm having such a hard time building relationships.. When I was in school, I found out most of the friends I made were furries, so here I decided to try just jumping in to the fandom to see if it would be easier for me to find people that I click with.

I have a couple cons coming up, and I'm really hoping I can do something different to actually meet people and see if i can find friends, because usually each year I just stick with my so and see everyone else only hanging out with their own friends.. I also have never been to a furry con before, only anime, so the fur con will be a new experience for me.

Does anyone have any advice?

I'll keep this simple-
I don't try to 'Make' friends.
I meet folks, and sometimes, I get to know folks.
If said folks seem to have similar interests (or even if they don't?), and we share some very base, important characteristics I hold dear (honesty, integrity being highest)?
Over time, we become friends.
We don't try to 'Make' friends.
It just happens, using honesty.

Anything else, isn't going to end well.

Of course, I can count the number of folks I call/ed 'Friends', on the fingers of two hands.
I can count the number of folks I still call 'Friend', on the fingers of one hand.

I'm a bit strict about applying that Title to others.

:)
 

MuFFinZ

Member
Hmm, what do you feel is the biggest obstacle for making new friends?
Is it anexiety for meeting new people, or what to talk about or is it something else?

I have had really easy time meeting new people, like for example standing in the queue for different panels and other events.
It´s boring standing silent waiting so, it´s pretty easy to start up a conversation with people there.
I often start of asking if the queue is for panel x, if they have been to the con before, where they are from etc etc and the ball is rolling.
Same strategy can be used in other situations aswell.

Another tip is to get into telegram groups for the con, you could simply ask if someone wants to meet up, grab lunch or something else.
Has worked for me and have met some very interesting people that way ^^

Don´t forget, most are there for meeting new people, just as you are :)
If you feel that you don´t click with a person, don´t try to force it to work.. Just look for someone else to talk to.
 
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