Advice?

[Cocobanana]

Do you like when anyone gives you advice? How about when they ask you for advice?

Do you like to take or give advice more or less depending on who is giving it?

I tend to get annoyed if people offer me advice without my asking for it, though it's less annoying when someone my own age who I want to impress does it than when it's done by my mom or someone who seems 'unsuccessful at life'. On the flip side, if people ask me for advice, especially when it comes to if a movie is worth checking out or not, I am ecstatic!

 

[Lucient]

People just want to feel useful I guess. In my experience getting advice from another person sucks, they don't know the whole story you know and they usually give the same information that you thought up yourself. It's worse when you get advice that you know just blows... I get that all the time.

 

[Newol Fate]

Ugh. I smell a lot of hypocrisy on the horizon...

I Really don't like to get advice, honestly, because I've always learned for myself, its always been the way that I best learn things. So someone trying to teach me something has always sort of annoyed me. Getting advice is like setting here watching my brains slowly drip from my ears because, frankly, I'm probably gunna put my own spin on it anyways. And as for giving advice, it really depends. It it's someone I care about and am genuinely trying to help, I don't mind giving advice from what I've learned on the topic to try and better them along. However if it's... pretty much the rest of humanity, I really just DON'T want to be bothered by it.

 

[Willow]

I don't mind either given I know what they want advice on.

But I find people who get so apprehensive just because someone gave them advice on something they may not have thought of more annoying than the person giving the advice.

 

[Student]

I'm of the mind that, if you're telling me problems then I have the right to voice any concerns or insights I may have, and that those concerns or insights may be delivered in the form of advice.

I don't burden people with my issues unless something productive may come of it.

 

[Schwimmwagen]

Pffsshhh, I dunno. It really depends on a huge load of factors.

What exactly are they giving me advice on?
Is their advice stupid?
Are they all overbearing/insistent about the advice they're giving?
etc etc

But for the most part I like good advice. But I feel that I prefer to be given advice when I ask for advice. Or if I put myself in a place where it's assumed that advice is going to come flooding in so I can pick and choose.

 

[Cocobanana]

I'm of the mind that, if you're telling me problems then I have the right to voice any concerns or insights I may have, and that those concerns or insights may be delivered in the form of advice.

This is actually something I have difficulty with. Sometimes when someone is telling their problems they are asking for advice in a roundabout way, but sometimes they just want to know you care about them, even when they're struggling, while they continue to find an answer on their own. If you guess wrong then you lose friend points :c

 

[Phyllostachys]

I don't like people giving me advices on subject I feel I am knowledgeable about and become headstrong regarding them(and often regret afterwards but anyway….), but if I encounter a problem I am unfamiliar with or beyond my competency to solve, I ask almost everyone around me for advices, then struggle in the swamp of indecisiveness.
As for dispensing advices, similar thing applies; I am eager to give out advises on things I believe I am well-informed of, but on other things I tend to avoid giving advises or hand out vague, general, half-hearted ones that I don’t have to be responsible for.

 

[Student]

... but sometimes they just want to know you care about them, even when they're struggling, while they continue to find an answer on their own. If you guess wrong then you lose friend points :c

You wouldn't offer advice if you didn't care about them

There is a lot to be said about just listening and empathizing. Indeed sometimes that can allow someone to come to their own conclusions. Knowing when to do this is something I'm trying to work on myself. However if giving advice is *off limits* then that means they just want to use you as an emotional punching bag. They are disregarding your agency, and that means it would probably be better not to have them as such a close friend.

 

[benignBiotic]

Being a Virgo I love giving advice, but hate receiving it.

 

[Tailmon1]

I always look at it this way. Advice is free. Your listening and using it is your choice.
Most if not all advice is based off of some real life experience. Thus, a lot of it is good.
yes there is bad advice but most people do not go around giving bad advice very long.

 

[Distorted]

I like to give and get advice whenever I get the chance.

Unfortunately, no one ever listens to my advice. They come to me and they'll talk. And I'll listen and attempt to say something, but it never really gets acknowledged. Then the person goes off and gets in trouble and I bite my tongue so I don't blurt out I told you so. The only advice I won't give out is relationship advice because I know nothing about it. And whenever I approach someone with advice, they either can't figure out what I'm talking about or just refuse to listen. My counselor has made the most sense out of all the people in my life so far, and it feels kinda lame to say that.

But I think it's just because of the place I live in. Not many people here can relate to me, and it's hard to find people who will actually listen.

 

[Vaelarsa]

I think what I do tends to be more of pitching out ideas than actually giving advice.
If it works for that person, great. If it doesn't, well that's the nature of chance for you. I could be wrong. I could be right. I don't know.

 

[Kitsune Cross]

I do like some advise, but I only ask people I have respect for, it's kinda a black or white thing, there are people who I take advice from and people who won't. I also like giving advice, I like helping people out if they ask me

 

[Pogonip]

it, though it's less annoying when someone my own age who I want to impress does it than when it's done by my mom or someone who seems 'unsuccessful at life'.

Just because someone has had an "unsuccessful life" doesn't mean they can't have valid advice.
It's the same reason why they have actors and athletes advertise products, people will more readily follow what they have to say without question based on the merit that their life is more "successful."

 

[Cocobanana]

Just because someone has had an "unsuccessful life" doesn't mean they can't have valid advice.
It's the same reason why they have actors and athletes advertise products, people will more readily follow what they have to say without question based on the merit that their life is more "successful."

There's a difference between buying a specific brand of Speed Stick because Bill Murray insists it is the best of the bunch, and choosing between a current alcoholic or a recovered alcoholic for advice on how to quit drinking, if that makes any sense.

 

[Pogonip]

There's a difference between buying a specific brand of Speed Stick because Bill Murray insists it is the best of the bunch, and choosing between a current alcoholic or a recovered alcoholic for advice on how to quit drinking, if that makes any sense.

A current alcoholic could tell you the exact same thing as a recovering alcoholic (or any person with a problem, profession, skill ect). I just don't think it's necessary to judge and dismiss someone so quickly. What if you are the current alcoholic, and you're working through your problems, you know what you need to do, but you havn't quite gotten there yet. If a friend of yours asks you for advice and he tells you "You're still an alcoholic yourself, why should I listen to you?" You may have just given him some legitimate wisdom, but he ignores you because you're not "successful" at it.

A recovering alcoholic can give just as bad advice as a current alcoholic. Good and bad advice can come from anyone.

 

[Cocobanana]

Good and bad advice can come from anyone.

Which is exactly why I'm more likely to listen to someone who seems to be living up to their own good advice than someone who 'just knows something is right' without attempting to prove as much. You don't need to convince me that things are relative because I already understand all of that and was speaking in general terms. There will always be exceptions.

 

[Pogonip]

Which is exactly why I'm more likely to listen to someone who seems to be living up to their own good advice than someone who 'just knows something is right' without attempting to prove as much.

And now I understand better what "leading by example" means.

 

[Mr. Sparta]

When it comes to giving advice, I could take it one of two ways- to help, or to destroy. I usually use advice giving for both.

My favorite good advice:
If you can solve something with money or hard work, it's not a problem.

My favorite bad advice:
When meeting strangers that speak a foreign language you don't understand, always assume they are saying "Death to America"

 

[Pogonip]

Which is exactly why I'm more likely to listen to someone who seems to be living up to their own good advice than someone who 'just knows something is right' without attempting to prove as much. You don't need to convince me that things are relative because I already understand all of that and was speaking in general terms. There will always be exceptions.

Ugh. I smell a lot of hypocrisy on the horizon...

This thread
^An example of when both people don't think either parties are leading by example and are both giving invalid advice?

 

[Willow]

Which is exactly why I'm more likely to listen to someone who seems to be living up to their own good advice than someone who 'just knows something is right' without attempting to prove as much.

Relevant. And I even took it a step further too.

You can of course, choose to not take their advice but you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss what someone is trying to tell you based on who they are as a person.

 

[Cocobanana]

Relevant. And I even took it a step further too.

You can of course, choose to not take their advice but you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss what someone is trying to tell you based on who they are as a person.

If you'll notice, I said 'more likely' and then in another post I said 'there are always exceptions.' I try not to see the world as black and white in as many areas as possible and was only talking about some guidelines I generally follow in this thread. As to the argument of hypocrisy, everyone is a hypocrite in some way, even the way we'll act one way at work and another way at the grocery store and yet another way at home when no one is watching.

But I'm not trying to say 'Lookit me I'm right 100 percent' or to start a debate, again just curious about how eager or not people are to give or take advice.

 

[DrDingo]

There are often people in real life that come to me asking for advice- often social advice- because they see me as trustworthy. And I like giving it. I can help them and make a change by just telling them something I know.
As for getting advice, I reckon that's pretty useful too. I would understand somebody's good intentions if they gave advice to me, but I would only enjoy getting it if the advice was useful. Or sarcastic and funny.

 

[Rilvor]

I give people advice every day. Most of them appreciate it, given the line of work.

Of course, when I tell some dumbfuck not to stretch his lobe 2-3 gauges at once with a Double-Flared Plug and he does it anyway I sometimes wonder why I bother.

I enjoy advice myself, I'm not so arrogant to think my way is the best or most efficient.