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AI Storytime!

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
Ravo Fox woke up, and looked in the mirror. "I've been transformed into a Vulpine Gertrude Stein! And a fox is a fox is a fox. You don't even know how to say 'Hello, Gert.'" And he walked out into the "wilderness," to be overrun by the jaws of wild bears, bloodthirsty foxes, and tremendous hippos. And the Vileforest, of course, had a building named after him!

Alas, that didn't stop the honey-eaters from coming to his defense. "Vulpine Gertrude is no less a man," said the Innkeep, "than his less ethereal neighbour, Spotted Jack."
~

Ravo Fox looked in the mirror. "I've been transformed into Gertrude Stein! I do want to get rich, but I never want to do what there is to get rich. Now I will be a permanent world traveler – that should keep me from overindulging and calling the damned wife of the traveling American millionaire 'my home.'"

The phone rang. "Why can't I go through the door without a pass? What is that? A wheelchair? Give me a fucking minute and I'll fucking get you some tea!"
 
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Faustus

Well-Known Member
"What are you doing in there, Ravo Fox?" asked Simo the Skunk. "Haven't you heard?" replied Ravo, "It's the brand new craze that's sweeping the nation! It's… steak sauce!"

Simo cut into an omelet and sat at the table without waiting for Ravo to ask if he'd heard correctly. "Totally, how did you know about it?" said Ravo. "I didn't know anything about it, you didn't either. This brand new to the meat-cleaver revolution is, in my opinion, a complete failure, the steak-y bits from the pan just completely cover up the perfectly cooked meat underneath." "You can't use steak sauce without a therm
 

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
Faustus the bat had just got kicked out of his belfry, and was looking for a cave in Dragon Gulch when he started rambling about how he was broke, and most of his money was in insurance. He then started to talk to a kid about a purple crystal, but not for long. It turned out that Mordekaiser was in the room, and he told them to go and get it. "Betcha you won't be needing the crystal. Pick it up when you come down from the belfry. I don't know how long it took you to catch it, but I doubt you can find one in the mountain so soon after stealing it." The kids asked why he didn't just tell them to go look elsewhere
 

metatherat

Really ratty rat
Another version of the song from pages back:

The predators want to eat you
You want to eat the yogurt
Life is like that
When you are a rat

(Broke the score)
A dolphin and her funny blubber,
(Break the score)
A shark and his claws,
(Break the score)
All the animals are at the beach
Not sure what to do
She could talk to you
You could listen
(Break the score)
Where's the real beauty in this life?
Where's the little monster in this world?
(Haha)
I'm just a mother, I've got to feed my child.
Love and effort are useless for changing the outcome.
Be who you are, even if that's nothing.
---
Seems proggy :D
 

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
Ravo Fox hopped in the bath, and lathered up. "Oh boy!", he exclaimed. "I wanna look nice for my date with Simo Skunk tonight!"

"What date?"

"Uhh...I...I dunno. I dunno when, but..." he continued to rummage in his bag of feminine accessories, until he found...a dark blue bra. "What?"

"Oh boy!" muttered Skunk, skunking his head under the shower.

Ravo gave him a look of horrified repulsion. "You've got a bra."

"Oh! What?"

"Well that's, like, your shirt."

Skunk looked offended. "Like what?"
 

Pogo

I pounce i bounce.
What should I write here.

I'm already getting this way confused, so I'll just save you the time. Get on it. I'm thinking I want to write a couple of posts today that could fit together into one large entry, and I'd like you to suggest something you'd want to hear from you fellow travelers.

Share a general tour of the site, with an overview of each individual story. I'd be interested in the other stories you've heard, from just the regular riders and locals who've also set out from Moscow. I'd also be interested in reading about how your city or nation was affected, and the or the fashion revolution, if anything.

How would you like to see the Moscow Story magnified and spread?
 

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
Simo Skunk laughed: finally Minty Cheetah was trapped in a giant vat of sticky, creamy peanut butter. Minty struggled but he was being crushed by the dank-smelling peanut butter, which was spreading all over him like sticky peanut butter on bread.

Minty tried to stop the flow of sticky, creamy peanut butter out of his ears but it was already too late, the stinking peanut butter was already all over him. He shut his eyes tightly to prevent his eyes from rolling back and turned his face to the wall. The hall smelled of rotten vegetables, dirt and food. The more he struggled, the more he knew he could not stop the endless flow of sticky, creamy peanut butter out of his ears
 

Guifrog

Blue Frog
The frog stared at the sky and asked the moon if it was made of parmesan cheese. It said: 'no' and set off for the nearest marsh to rub itself against the beach.

Then, as the moon grew fainter, the frog forgot its wish and all wondered why the moon was turning so pale. Suddenly the moon brightened up and looked down upon the earth below. It beamed for several minutes at the frogs, then dived and disappeared behind the last of the clouds.

People have always wondered what the moon was doing to the frogs.
 

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
Simo the Skunk planted his watermelons, so they could grow plump, sweet and juicy. All the foxes loved his melons so much that they refused to destroy them.

"May it be long. May it be sweet. May it be plump and juicy."

or

Simo the Skunk planted his watermelons, so they could grow plump, sweet and juicy. All the foxes loved his melons so much that a lot of them wanted to eat them every day. The skunk had a really harsh time convincing other cats to eat them as well, but once the first batch of melons were turned into soup, his outreach skills were put to good use.

"People are hungry! Eat my melons and leave some for your friends. If they eat them, they're your friends forever," said Boomer, enthusiastically diving into the melons and enjoying them. He held his belly and gave the largest melon to a fox standing nearby.

One of the hyenas looked at Boomer
 

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
Here's one for @Endless Annoyance :p

Endless Annoyance realized he was a furry, and needed hugs bad. So he went to a furry convention where
he met some furries. They were a great group of people, giving hugs, and having a great time. After the convention, Endless Annoyance decided he wanted to go back to the convention and keep helping the animals, so he ran over to the furry convention, and asked the speaker, Josh, if he would adopt him as his pet. His plan worked. He got to adopt Josh! He was thrilled. Unfortunately, in order to follow his new mission, he needed a name. So he decided on his first name, CHERRY BOMB, and his birthday was July 23rd. He had a pretty unique name.
 
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Faustus

Well-Known Member
New from DC Comics!

"Achtung thee, English!" screamed Mordekaiser through his rolled-up newspaper megaphone, "Thou cannot defend thyself from my stormtrooper wives and their deadly pitchforks forever! Give up now, Superman, and I will grant thee to another night in Paradise!"

"Oi, oi, you can't do that!" Superman screamed back, and kicked Mordekaiser and the newspaper towards the wall. The rest of the fans had joined in, making an angry wall of support for Superman, who smiled through his tightly rolled paper.

"Ye gods of Censor!" yelled Mordekaiser, still gawking through the paper, "I will not bear the shame of bloodshed alone!"
 

metatherat

Really ratty rat
Another song, Transformer, please.

The predators want to eat you
You want to eat the yogurt
Life is like that
When you are a rat

You can be a pidgeon
Of the top of the food chain
Too much of a good thing
If I was a rat
I would eat meat
I would eat that you could do it
I would eat the corn
I would eat that you are
One on one
I want to take all the food
I would do it in the night
Because they want to eat you
You want to eat the yogurt
I could do it in the day
Life is like that
When you are a rat
You can be a pidgeon
I have nothing left
I would take your bread
---
This... actually kind of makes me want to turn predator in PvP. Or at least go full omnivore. Very, very ratty, mmhmm.
 

Pogo

I pounce i bounce.
The pigeon has stolen your bread. You didn't know, did you? It's known by everyone. Nothing to be ashamed of."

It was my first time watching the dream sequence, and I was fascinated. It started out with two horse-faced monks and priests looking for the missing loaf of bread.

Then the old lady pulls her apron over her head, leading a great crowd of women to find the bread. Each has to keep an eye on everyone else, and take care of any children who come to grief.

Then the old lady hands over the bread. The whole charade is over. The result was, as you might expect, crumbs.

My funny, yet, little parody. D'You
 

Guifrog

Blue Frog
This is so satisfying! I think I'm addicted to it. There's some surreal results that make sense somehow

Gonzaga, the tufted capuchin, tried to scare Guifrog. He approached Guifrog, gesturing for him to step on a stick. When Guifrog did, a small rooster flew over his head. He turned around and saw, standing above him, the closest thing he had seen to a mythical creature. Guifrog took the bird and placed it back on the head of the tufted capuchin. "I think they are from the same family," he said. They then fell into conversation, and the rooster and the capuchin learned about one another, and about such things as "The good, the bad, and the ugly."
 

Guifrog

Blue Frog
@Endless Annoyance

The Endless Annoyance is a dumb, silly, mean and ugly animal.

It is the epitome of a dead and decaying animal. It is not a living animal because its skin, teeth, bones, muscles, wings and ears are the product of the destruction of other living creatures.

It doesn't have a personality or conscience. It doesn't have any of the sense-data of any other living being.

It was invented by the funny and murderous entity Cthulhu and is therefore an eldritch abomination.

It is also apparently immortal. Cthulhu might as well just write on the newspaper: "You can't kill it!".

This thing is not a thing. It is not real. It is absolute garbage, an
 

metatherat

Really ratty rat
This is so satisfying! I think I'm addicted to it. There's some surreal results that make sense somehow
ikr? Predictive text is so addictive.

Hey, why is predictive text so addictive? Please explain in terms of cute rats snuggling each other.

Well
, ive got a little bit of a basic theory as to why.

A person doesn't know that "hundreds of thousands of rats snuggle together." What they KNOW is that this happens, and they can look at things like this to learn the probability of it happening again (and more importantly, what to expect on particular days and at particular times).

Then when you translate that prediction into text, ive got a slight image in their heads that perhaps adds just a little bit more context to the text to make them feel like they're reading it from your own, in-person feed.
----
And there you have it! Thanks, Transformer.
 

Guifrog

Blue Frog
ikr? Predictive text is so addictive.

Hey, why is predictive text so addictive? Please explain in terms of cute rats snuggling each other.

Well
, ive got a little bit of a basic theory as to why.

A person doesn't know that "hundreds of thousands of rats snuggle together." What they KNOW is that this happens, and they can look at things like this to learn the probability of it happening again (and more importantly, what to expect on particular days and at particular times).

Then when you translate that prediction into text, ive got a slight image in their heads that perhaps adds just a little bit more context to the text to make them feel like they're reading it from your own, in-person feed.
----
And there you have it! Thanks, Transformer.
It is true that rats are cute and snuggle each other, but I'm sure Transformer knows that frogs are cuter and share many features with him.

Overall, it is not, but in the early part of the invention life, were rats are not so important that we have to regard them as sort of drooling ragdolls.

-----
"share many features with him"
So that's why the text does trippy loop-de-loops so often, it's a frog bot confirmed!
 

Faustus

Well-Known Member
Seems like asking hypothetical questions is a good way to go! Let's try this...

how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Probably only in theory. With that in mind, we decided to look at the woodchuck data on TreeHugger, and some of their other woodchuck analysis, in hopes of finding more specifics on wood chuck size. Below, we show the data we got from TreeHugger of the "perpendicular" woodchuck as well as the "internal diameter" and "wide" woodchuck. To get those dimensions, we grabbed the following data from TreeHugger:

We'll use this data as a rough guess on how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, assuming a certain amount of wood exists inside a woodchuck. This would assume
 

Guifrog

Blue Frog
Guifrog has music powers, but he's not the best of singers. One day, he sang Silent Night to his cricket friend, making him so annoyed that he swore revenge on the world. Things went downhill from there, as he drew unholy power from all of the worlds and transformed into the Boogeyman, a real-life Boogeyman. It's up to us to make sure the Boogeyman isn't able to kill everybody!

Your target in this game is to destroy a number of Boogeymen from around the globe, and it'll be up to you to pick them out of the fog. Everything needs to work perfectly, but there are no cheats or jokes in this game.
 

metatherat

Really ratty rat
Well, enough proggy song lyrics for now. Let's cook with Transformer:

Slice and brown four potatoes in a pan with some olive oil.


Add two zucchini, squash, sliced onions, mushrooms, egg, salt, pepper, spinach, and ground beef. Mix to combine.
Cover and simmer on low for 10-15 minutes.

In a large pot of salted water, bring to a boil 2 cups drained, rinsed and chopped tomatoes. Add two large lemons and cook and stir over low heat for 2-3 minutes. Add salt, pepper and smoked paprika. Increase heat to medium and continue to cook until soft, about 15 minutes.

Serve over steamed rice and garnish with parsley and crumbled feta.
----
...I'm now tempted, really tempted, to use Transformer to generate recipes for the rest of the day. Maybe it would eventually generate something sublime?
 

metatherat

Really ratty rat
And the ad campaign for a restaurant where Transformer comes up with the recipes:

The taste of surrealism! Come to Le Goût du Surréalisme, for a dining experience that surpasses any dining experience of your life! And you can give yourself a "surprise" -- thanks to our famous laser-generated "moustaches." Please do not hesitate to contact us!

We are a grand underground adventure, with twenty modernist, ballroom-style, multilevel parking garage patios offering great views of the snow-covered French Alps and the Alps Lakes. Our restaurant features all the comforts you have come to love and expect: comfortable chairs, a cocktail and soft drinks are included in your visit, and we also offer a selection of delicious wines from the lower Le Chateau.
---
I...wow. I kind of want to go to there :O
 

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
meanwhile, in the art world:

May's featured MOMA exhibit will feature art exclusively by foxes with impulse control issues, including
works by Yūji Iwasaki, Jenniline Lipman, Leah Junnier, Suki-Marie Strumpf and Douglas Sirk. Meanwhile, the museum's surrounding real-life Foxettes will walk the exhibit halls while wearing Halloween costumes (one named Isabella), chasing after nude men or taking candy from unsuspecting little girls. -The New York Times

~

The Hirshhorn Museum exhibit will feature art exclusively by foxes with impulse control issues. The work features a curving, multi-colored "rail" of circles, each with a different cartoon image of a fox with an arching, restless nose.

What's more, this fox will have a nuclear weapon in its nose. The artwork has no instructions on how to handle a nuclear trigger. The final product, which debuted at an event in April, displays the tail of a fox pressed to the tail of a rabbit, with a match over the bunny's eye.

Related: Watch this 'Accidental Protagonist' take a nuclear-powered rabbit on a 'Where's Waldo' tour

To show how disturbing the artwork might be,
 

Guifrog

Blue Frog
What I found amusing in this one was the ridiculous change of focus in the end (edit: nevermind, the whole story is full of wth :p ):

Mr. Mastodon was having a popsicle and the rhino asked him for a bite. The big guy promptly bit his finger, and the rhino
rushed off into the night. He hid his bloodied hand in the grass, and there it was on the front page of the local newspaper when he came to. He then considered walking back to his hill and eating a slice of his ice cream.

But it was close to midnight. He wanted to eat anyway, and the rhino was just taking up a little extra space in his stomach. That was when Mr. Mastodon decided it was time to kick his music to sleep.

As you might guess, Mr. Mastodon's ridiculous body was different from all the other animals.
 
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