AI Storytime!

[mangomango]

there is no end
but there is a beginning
let's start at that beginning
and put the books to rest
let's take a look at a phone book
brought to us by the people who don't read and pretend to read
friends, relatives and neighbors
yeah, let's start at the beginning
the opening line means nothing
some who show up expecting an opening line can quickly see
tells them that someone else put their name in place of their own
that's what I did
left them out in the cold...
getting deeper and deeper and deeper
those who get into the tent
and then sneak out of it and leave everyone behind
will soon see
and find out that...don't ask me why

 

[Simo]

The last time I went to a furry convention, the foxes smelled like cigarettes and onions and there was no space between them. Now they smell like Fox Magic and Supermarket Dogs. That's not to say the foxes won't be attending because I, as the biggest fox, rule; but I'll definitely not be entering.

Your 4 and 1/2 out of 5-star "foxes are awesome" comment is literally at odds with the fact that the foxes stink now. I don't know why they have so many items for furries to drool over that none of them have any use. Actually they're now going with the Argo camouflage trousers (which I also don't like because it smells like Carnations)

 

[Faustus]

This one was kinda disturbing...

In a world where microwave ovens and filing cabinets cannot peacefully coexist, one young aardvark begins a quest that will shake the foundations of society. She intends to tame all manner of shrubs and trees, using only her mind and her knowledge of the plants. Whether it be hacking away at living steel with an ax, chipping away at metal, or slitting the throats of her enemies with a sharpened stick, the seeds she plants will take root and grow, creating the world she is so passionate about. Before long, after encountering a pair of tree-hugging earthworms, she discovers that she is not alone in her quest; the other tree-huggers have begun working alongside her, and the forest might not be a world

 

[Faustus]

did you know transformer writes NSFW

It also writes bad fanfic:

As he stared into the bottom of his Ministry of Magic coffee mug and contemplated another long and boring day in the cubicles, numbly filing wand application forms and 'cursed and disorderly' warnings, Harry Potter reflected that life had not turned out quite as he'd expected.

After all, on a good day, he had managed to rescue Draco Malfoy from the dungeons and publicly apologize for it, after all that Dumbledore had done to help save him.

On a bad day, he found his loved one self-harming as a direct result of being courted by both Draco and his other to be in love with him. He shuddered to think about what his best friend Harry Potter would do to either Draco or Harry if either one

 

[bandit_husky]

yeah it writes harry potter fanfic sometimes

 

[Frank Gulotta]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I do have an imaginary friend and they call me Willow (AN: tbh I love her so much I could stick my dick into her topis and call it a day). I like rap music and I like to do origami. One of my favorite anime is Sailor Moon and I love Sailor Moon (Ô・ω・);

...Odd, and pretty spooky

I'm genuinely spooked by how this bot completed this text

 

[bandit_husky]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I do have an imaginary friend and they call me Willow (AN: tbh I love her so much I could stick my dick into her topis and call it a day). I like rap music and I like to do origami. One of my favorite anime is Sailor Moon and I love Sailor Moon (Ô・ω・);

...Odd, and pretty spooky

I'm genuinely spooked by how this bot completed this text

this is what i got :johnny johnny lovely kinky lovely big tits boobs. german girl and english girl , well big breasts of german , those big boobs are of course british brits katie b and rosie b. they have sex with themsel

 

[Faustus]

this is what i got:

Probably went sexy because 'Johny' is British slang for a condom. Try starting it off with a longer sentence, it tends to respond better. F'rex, I gave it a partial quote from Shakespeare and got pseudo-Shakespeare back:

Is this a dagger that I see before me? Come, let me lend it.

[Exeunt all except Roderick, Fortunato and Moses.]

RODERICK. A dagger! Such a thing is never kept out of the hall,
and my clerk, that holds the keys, knows nothing of it.
I shall cut the bell from this window and hang it there,
and then one comes on horseback every morning to have his bit in it.

FREMONT. You have said it.

RODERICK. It is only a musket that makes the world go round.

FREMONT. True,

(p.s. I know I got the quote wrong, I was in a rush!)

 

[metatherat]

Your new fursona II:

You now have a new extra cute fursona. Let me describe it for you: "he's a portly ginger, with dark red cheeks, a slightly tanned upper body, puffy fingers, and pronounced short-cropped brown hair with bright blue streaks running through it." Her ears are smaller than normal, and her tail is short and bushy. His hat and shirt are plain white and navy blue respectively. Her beard is a little disheveled, and in her grey musk is nothing but the scent of his body to her nose. On rare occasions, her fur may actually be slightly red, perhaps thanks to a lack of sun exposure. That's why I named her... MEOW. She's a bit of a
--- or ---
You now have a new extra cute fursona. Let me describe it for you:
She's a girl, a pre-pubescent girl from a place called Birdway , which is conveniently located smack in the middle of one of the darkest, most dangerous galaxies known to human beings.
She has a mother.
She is, um... Oh god! You don't understand what I'm saying! My poor English!
She has a father.
There is no father. I'm not her father!
She is afraid of the dark.
She is, uh... A mutant mutant who's sort of turned into a black cloud with wings! She does not fly at night.
She is sad.
--- or ---
You now have a new extra cute fursona. Let me describe it for you:
Kanon is a pure white fox. She has long fox ears and a bunch of fluffy foxtails.
She has a bow shaped tail and a pair of smaller tails that end in big floppy ears. Her fluffy tails curl around her body and when she blinks, they just disappear. She is the only one that can do this.
Her ears look smaller than usual. Her tongue is not as big as usual, her nose is slightly bigger and her eyes are even larger than usual.
Kanon also has quills in her ears, and those quills are big fluffy ones. They are white, brown, black, or beige, and
--- --- ---
Have fun with your new furry self :3

 

[Faustus]

Your new fursona II:

That last one is particularly redolent of the fandom! Kanon (also transliterated as Kwannon or Kannon) is the Japanese goddess of mercy.

 

[Simo]

"I'm not gonna work as a slave in your peanut butter factory any more!", Minty Cheetah yelled at Simo Skunk. Simo quickly squirted Minty with peanut butter juice as he stepped closer and closer to his victims.

"I do NOT want to work in a peanut butter factory any more!" Minty said, holding back the urge to snort chocolate-covered peanuts.

"You know you're not supposed to talk about that at the dinner table any more, can't you", one of Simo's robots said.

"I know!

 

[Faustus]

The robot skunk stepped menacingly closer, brandishing its nuclear-powered turbo-botty-paddle menacingly. "Back to work!" it screeched in its strident metallic voice, "or I'll break every bone in your body!"

"But you're still on duty, it'll break just fine," I placated it, muttering about the fragility of silicon-dominated things to another worker.

"Hey, you have job security. I don't," the robot sneered, tipping its olive-brown head.

"I'm the boss. Anyone I replace by default gets the boot." The screen went back to its growling monologue.

"Let's finish our tasks before you mess with our jobs!" It looked at the device as it

 

[Simo]

Here's one for @A Minty cheetah

Simo the Skunk asked the Wise Fox if Minty Cheetah secretly loved peanut butter. The Wise Fox replied, "Yes. Especially when he eats it from an ice cream cone." Then he added, "At least that way, he's sure to get a treat every time you order a new flavor."

Unscathed by the incident, the Peanut Butter War was over. A snowman was born.

(short, but succinct!)

 

[A Minty cheetah]

Here's one for @A Minty cheetah

Simo the Skunk asked the Wise Fox if Minty Cheetah secretly loved peanut butter. The Wise Fox replied, "Yes. Especially when he eats it from an ice cream cone." Then he added, "At least that way, he's sure to get a treat every time you order a new flavor."

Unscathed by the incident, the Peanut Butter War was over. A snowman was born.

(short, but succinct!)

Minty the cheetah asked Simo the skunk if he likes kale and sauerkraut sandwiches. Apparently the answer is yes. After Simo the skunk went back into his house to take a nap, Minty the cheetah was more than willing to assist the skunk on his way.

(Transformer helping us understand each other even more)

 

[metatherat]

Here's one for @A Minty cheetah
Simo the Skunk asked the Wise Fox if Minty Cheetah secretly loved peanut butter. The Wise Fox replied, "Yes. Especially when he eats it from an ice cream cone." Then he added, "At least that way, he's sure to get a treat every time you order a new flavor."
Unscathed by the incident, the Peanut Butter War was over. A snowman was born.

(short, but succinct!)

Minty the cheetah asked Simo the skunk if he likes kale and sauerkraut sandwiches. Apparently the answer is yes. After Simo the skunk went back into his house to take a nap, Minty the cheetah was more than willing to assist the skunk on his way.

(Transformer helping us understand each other even more)

Simo the skunk and Minty the cheetah were bickering about kale again. Meta the rat squeezed in between them and squeaked "Yogurt", with firm emphasis. Simo and Minty stayed silent, their tails flicking back and forth awkwardly, neither able to decide between "cream" and "yogurt". Simo the skunk seemed to have lost interest, coming up for air. Minty remained silent, despite the general odor of Yogurt making its way up and down his spine, and the squeaking of his fur from his excess energy. He finally settled on something: "Can't you at least find something non-wholesome?" he asked in a mix between concern and growling.
---
*gives non-wholesome yogurt*

 

[metatherat]

*I show up at @BreyoGP 's burrow to show him a story I have written*
---
@BreyoGP the guinea pig looked out of his burrow and saw poor Meta the rat desperately fighting an owl, a hawk, two pine martens and a wolf. His black heart was unmoved to them, so he searched for food in his burrow, but all he found was poop and dung. Unwillingly, his keen sense of smell, which could smell the condition of the grass on the ground, seemed to him superior to any of the others and he rushed out into the fields with everything on his back to search for food. Meta tired out, lay down and died. BreyoGP came back to his burrow and saw the dead rat and with a great sigh, threw it away.
---
...that really wasn't very nice of you at all. We should discuss these matters further in your food storage >:I

 

[Faustus]

"I've got a lovely bunch of cocoanuts," sang Simo the Skunk, "There they are in the rain, Next to the tropical green, The Coconut Industry is well-oiled And you can be sure to get, When it rains, a whole lot of coconuts!" There's a video of Simo performing "Coconut Rain" right here. And there's a map that depicts the steps for the track, created by volunteer volunteers based in Gogi, Ind. This map shows how to get there: Simo the Skunk from All Things Electric Simo the Skunk has a day job as an acoustic guitar player for an experimental group called All Things Electric.

 

[metatherat]

@Spilogale Pygmaea was doing stuff. Transformer, tell us about it:
Spilo the spotted skunk ran madly across the place, giving stinky boops to everyone around him. He sat there wiggling, grinning, and scaring any passerby that thought they'd have a chance to shake his paws. Unfortunately for these 'trespassers', they were stuck in their homes, and found themselves losing their minds over all the noise Spilo made.

Local lore states that Spilo was a treacherous, murderous demon whose ghost still haunts the square, looking for victims to chase off to eternal torments. It was also said that Spilo always did look so cute. Sometimes he'd run into people on the street and disappear into thin air, sometimes he'd fly into the middle of the street, other
---
Yeah, sounds about right, you Master of Duality. I still swear Transformer is spying on us...

 

[Simo]

(here's one for @Skittles )

Queen Skittles woke up and found all her tea had turned into coffee. She immediately blamed Simo Skunk. "I didn't turn your crappy 'ol tea into coffee!", the skunk said, "I think you're probably just grumpy and angry and bored. But coffee is OK with me." Before Skittles could come up with a rebuttal, a yellow puffer fish crossed the chasm. It turned Skittles' breakfast into "chocolate milk", which was flavored to taste like Skittles. The fish revealed that it used its magic to put Skittles-flavored milk into Skittles' cereal. It then jumped over Skittles and headed for the portal. Skittles was happy, but

 

[Faustus]

Aww, @Skittles I like your new National Anthem!

The National Anthem of Denmark
(Rewritten for the Accession of Queen Skittles)

There is a lovely land,
A land of milk and honey,
A land of chickens, cattle, and pigs.
In all my life I've never found
A friend as fair as your Queen,
And I will help you with everything I've got,
'Cause your most precious treasure Is friendship.

 

[Faustus]

@Skittles - that was the civic anthem, I guess you want the royal anthem too?

The National Anthem of Denmark
(Rewritten for the Accession of Queen Skittles)

King Christian stood by the lofty mast,
He pressed the Rune of the Free
With glad and fervent heart.
Touched the Flag of the Free State
With his hand;

With pledged words,
He spoke the song of the Drum.
His limbs turned pale as death,
His head drooped;
His nerves shook:
He recited the Song.

His heart's song
Seemed to fill the air;
The Star-Spangled Banner,
Was glowing,
And th' Earth's Paradise
The Sultan's courtyards

 

[Simo]

Having deposed the tyrannical rule of Queen Skittles, King Simo Skunk wrote a new anthem:

Behold the verdant melon patch,
the spanking barns and mischief dens;
The untamed natural sway,
the luxuriant foodstuffs, the prodigious bees,
the miraculous sheep,
the all-harmonious woods,
the smitten new world and the boundless sky;
Behold the rolling fountain and the gliding chariot;
the plaintive-laden minstrel;
the wild songster
and the rapturous bird,
the richly blooming tribe
and the wandering herd


(There; a much more majestic kingdom!)

 

[Faustus]

"Ooooogggghhh" groaned the iPhone app morosely, "I think I just 8BADF00D! I think I'm gonna have to dump my heap!" I laughed, "We have yet to confirm your provider name or whether you have a phone number, but we should be able to look it up if you would prefer." "Oh yeah, duh! Who gives a shit anyways?" The phone released some bizarre crackling sound, "Ughhghhgh! Damn! Google… ughhghhh!" The intern sent his assistant to his closet to grab his phone, much to the intern's surprise finding the unlocked door open to the bullpen. The intern returned

----
(This is soooo how I feel right now)

 

[metatherat]

(There; a much more majestic kingdom!)

Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Yes, we could do that, certainly.
Or, we could do this:
The time has come to be a rat
The time is now to eat the yogurt
To snuggle in a ratpile
To enjoy a blissful life
The time has come to get a nation fed
For everyone
A people will be founded
For everyone
Let's have a ratocracy
A ratcountry
Let's have a ratstate
A ratstate
For everyone
Forever free, forever happy
A paradise for everyone
Let's adopt a ratfood
A ratworm snack
Let's adopt a ratwatch
A ratwatch
Let's adopt a ratgut
A ratgut
Let's adopt a ratbrain
A ratbrain
A ratbrain
For everyone
Forever
---
See, Transformer gets it

 

[Faustus]

Let's have a ratocracy

Now, THIS is impressive! It's one thing for an AI to put together meaningful sentences, but it just accurately invented a word!