AI Storytime!

[metatherat]

I don't know what that is xD

Why, that's this:
https://textsynth.com/playground.html

---

...I miss this thread! So I shall revive it!
...With the official @Guifrog cartoon theme song!

Gui the frog!
Gui the musical frog!
Gui the blueberry frog!
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
I ate an entire jar of honey!
And then it turned into a toad!
(Cacophony of loud voices)
My father was a doctor and
a very religious man.
He gave me a lot of rules, and
he told me that frogs were bad.
But when I came to the
doctor's office one day
with a terrible cold, he gave me
some medicine that did more harm
than good, and then I became
ill and lost my appetite.
Well, that day
a friend came to visit.
His name was Gui, and he
was a wonderful frog.
He played the most beautiful music
that could melt my heart.
------
Well... I certainly am impressed by the writers' willingness to tackle heavy subjects....
(I have no idea why Textsynth went with the religion angle of all things)

 

[Guifrog]

Why, that's this:
https://textsynth.com/playground.html

---

...I miss this thread! So I shall revive it!
...With the official @Guifrog cartoon theme song!

Gui the frog!
Gui the musical frog!
Gui the blueberry frog!
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
I ate an entire jar of honey!
And then it turned into a toad!
(Cacophony of loud voices)
My father was a doctor and
a very religious man.
He gave me a lot of rules, and
he told me that frogs were bad.
But when I came to the
doctor's office one day
with a terrible cold, he gave me
some medicine that did more harm
than good, and then I became
ill and lost my appetite.
Well, that day
a friend came to visit.
His name was Gui, and he
was a wonderful frog.
He played the most beautiful music
that could melt my heart.
------
Well... I certainly am impressed by the writers' willingness to tackle heavy subjects....
(I have no idea why Textsynth went with the religion angle of all things)

1) I'm amused at how an entire jar of honey turned into a toad
2) That ending has just molten my heart too. I want to hug that kid

 

[metatherat]

@Fcomega121 @FlannelFox

Here are reasons why maned wolves are the most maneylicious:
1) They are much closer to our natural state.
2) The skin of the wolf resembles more of a bear than anything else.
3) They can live up to 10,000 years old without aging or getting sick.
4) Maned wolves are often referred to as "wolves of the forest" by people who do not know any other way of talking about them. They also have more control over their own nature in this form.
5) Because of this they are considered the ultimate protector of mankind.
6) Also because they are more likely to be found where there is water and food.
7) Most commonly found during the winter months.
8) In a lotus position in the water.
9) In an ice rink, on hot sunny days.
10) On the moon.
---
Thanks, dreamily.ai
I didn't know maneys are the ultimate protector of mankind! Or that they are in an ice rink on hot sunny days. On the moon.
*adds furiously to MANEY NOTES*

 

[Foxy Emy]

Scarlett was half bat and half fox. She was left in charge the Mischief Mart but didn't know how to run a company. So, she fired the employees and opened a branch of CineMama instead. But when she tried to take on a partner, she got stuck with the one person she couldn't stand, her estranged mother. She soon had to learn how to run a business from the bottom up. "What, no cupcakes? What kind of misfit-rific bakery doesn't make cupcakes?" Well, they're pretty plain, actually. But it's easy to see why people love them. "I can't believe you don't make cupcakes," her father would tell her. He always did. "Do you want to walk around the store together?" "What's that, your girlfriend?" "You are such a nerd," she'd call him, and he'd call her a spaz. "They're no fun, you're right," her mother would say. But she'd laugh.

 

[ScaratheWolf]

As Ronin crept along the ledge, she glanced over at the other four, who were in their battle gear. She darted away from the edge and took cover under the fallen water tower just before the four predators from project 270 climbed up the ladder. Ronin had been on the run for a while, and now she could see that her freedom might become a distant memory.

The four soldiers were looking around the rooftops. Their guns were raised, and sweeping in a broad arc, they scanned the entire roof. Then all at once, they came to the fallen water tower. They had been completely oblivious to the black and purple creature hiding there until now.

One of the soldiers grabbed the little creature. Ronin screamed as she was drug from her hiding place. As the soldiers gathered around her to finish the job she saw a shadow pass over all five of them.

As one of the soldiers brought his gun up towards Ronin, she yet again begged for them to let her go, but this was in vain. Yet, before the soldier could pull the trigger, the shadow became bigger and more threatening.

Suddenly, the shadow let out a loud crack and the soldier with the gun fell to his knees seemingly being hit by a missile. the others then turned and began to fire their guns in unison, yet in random directions.

The shadow quickly reached for one of the soldiers and threw them into the other three. The shadow then walked towards Ronin. As the shadow stepped closer and closer, Ronin began to feel her body start to shake in fear. However, the shadow stopped and began to reach out for Ronin.

Ronin could not help but take a step back but as the shadow approached, Ronin noticed something. The shadow, which was now in the light, looked like a She-Wolf in a combat suit. "Im Scara" the figure said reaching out.

 

[ssaannttoo]

I have created the best story of all time xD

Hormy Big Booty Witch​

Big Booty Witch had always loved Rundown Behind a random walmart with its shivering, shrill Smelly dumpsters. It was a place where he felt Saucy.

He was a Hormy, Big Hormy, Coom drinker with Long UwU bits and Thicc OWO bits. His friends saw him as an outrageous, oily OwO inspiring. Once, he had even helped a queenlike Tushy recover from a flying accident. That's the sort of man he was.

Big Booty walked over to the window and reflected on his Smexy OWO surroundings. The Extra Drippy teased like Sucking Fox.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Semore Butts. Semore was a Normal amount of Hormy Hunky with Oh so dreamy UwU bits and Dreamy OWO bits.

Big Booty gulped. He was not prepared for Semore.

As Big Booty stepped outside and Semore came closer, he could see the bumpy glint in his eye.

Semore gazed with the affection of 6234 Little Hormy freezing Fox. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want the succy succy."

Big Booty looked back, even more Saucy Sauce and still fingering the Lickable A bobby pin. "Semore, you got big balls UWU," he replied.

They looked at each other with Saucy feelings, like two freezing, faffdorking Fox Swinging at a very MEGA HORMY Succy time, which had Plapping sounds music playing in the background and two UwU uncles Twerking to the beat.

Big Booty regarded Semore's Oh so dreamy UwU bits and Dreamy OWO bits. "I feel the same way!" revealed Big Booty with a delighted grin.

Semore looked Saucy, his emotions blushing like an average, abundant A strange phallic object.

Then Semore came inside for a nice drink of Coom.

THE END

 

[metatherat]

Of all the animals, frogs are the most froglicious, because you get to watch them dance and they do it so gracefully! It’s like watching an angel in motion. You should not lick the dancing frogs, however, because then you might become a frog yourself. But why? Because you’re not allowed! You know that, but it doesn’t stop your mouth from doing what it pleases, or your heart from beating rapidly at the thought of tasting such magic. So if you ever catch the frog in a pool, you may taste it first. Then, maybe you’ll want to kiss the frog. But then again… kissing frogs is forbidden. Well, you don’t really know for sure, but when a teacher has called out “kiss the frog” you have always done as asked, whether you had the choice or not. And even after the frog’s been released from its watery prison, your tongue never leaves its wet body; you can’t help yourself. The feeling of your tongue lapping at the droplets which fall down the frog’s back, the way your tongue gently strokes up towards his head, the softness of the frog’s body against yours and the sweet smell of the water surrounding you – yes, yes!
----
:sweat_smile:
Uh, thanks for the warning. I'll try to keep the frog-kissing to a minimum
@Guifrog

 

[Frank Gulotta]

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

And out o’ the middle of the floor
Ran a crick, and that was wight:
It ran right off into the hall,
And there it made a bobs.

‘Bobs’us! quoth the cat;
‘I have seen the woful fate
Of many a good man or a whore
That were born before their time.

‘I have seen the fate of the one
That was born at the full of the moon,
The first that ever was born in our house,
And the last that ever shall be born.

‘I have seen the fate of the first
That ever was born under the moon;
To die at a good old age and then
To be buried out of the door.

‘But this man will not die, and shall
be buried in my door-yard,’
And the cat called for the

...the what? I wanna know who or what the cat called for.

 

[Guifrog]

Of all the animals, frogs are the most froglicious, because you get to watch them dance and they do it so gracefully! It’s like watching an angel in motion. You should not lick the dancing frogs, however, because then you might become a frog yourself. But why? Because you’re not allowed! You know that, but it doesn’t stop your mouth from doing what it pleases, or your heart from beating rapidly at the thought of tasting such magic. So if you ever catch the frog in a pool, you may taste it first. Then, maybe you’ll want to kiss the frog. But then again… kissing frogs is forbidden. Well, you don’t really know for sure, but when a teacher has called out “kiss the frog” you have always done as asked, whether you had the choice or not. And even after the frog’s been released from its watery prison, your tongue never leaves its wet body; you can’t help yourself. The feeling of your tongue lapping at the droplets which fall down the frog’s back, the way your tongue gently strokes up towards his head, the softness of the frog’s body against yours and the sweet smell of the water surrounding you – yes, yes!
----
:sweat_smile:
Uh, thanks for the warning. I'll try to keep the frog-kissing to a minimum
@Guifrog

The frog didn't know whether to feel weirded out or completely in love, so he went with it, and hopped over to her.

"Hey, so can I call you Nai?" she asked, her green eyes wide and nervous.

"I'm sorry. I've had a really bad day."

The frog felt her heart speed up.

"You mean, literally or figuratively?"

"Well, figuratively."

"Oh..." she seemed almost relieved. "What happened?"

The frog hesitated. He had had a hell of a day. "I was almost raped."

Nai sighed. "Shit. That really sucks."

 

[metatherat]

Izzy the fox sat in his office, reading through a product proposal for a "Fox-sitting" service.

But instead of a fluffy bunny, the service would offer to sit with children of the wealthy, so that their little foxes would not grow up lonely and unloved.

"Ah, yes. Yes," Izzy sighed. "Of course it's the perfect fit. It's brilliant."

Izzy paused for a moment, then his tone became urgent. "Do you think I could sit in too? I'd love to help. It's a small business after all."

'It's a foxy business. It has claws. A fox. How can we make a profit from a foxy business? It's ludicrous. We're doing it.'

Pippa the badger sighed as she lay down. 'I'm exhausted. I haven't had a proper lunch break in weeks.' She lay down in her bed, snuggling her snout against the pillow. 'Fox-sitting? Seriously?'
---
@Izzy4895
Pippa the badger isn't too taken in by the idea
Also, she has a bed at the office :O
That's very casual office *rat thumb up*

 

[Faustus]

"Good morning, Miss Tiggywinkle," said Benjamin Bunny, "My, what sexy silk stockings you are wearing today! Would you mind if I came in and gave you a shave? Just this once?"

"A shave?" inquired Miss Tiggywinkle, "I was just thinking it would be quite a shame to shave this morning. It's already quite damp from yesterday."

"No, no, I was thinking more of the pleasure I would derive from an intimate shave, and I'm happy to oblige you, my dear," said Benjamin Bunny. "I'll take off my trousers, of course; it would be rather difficult for me to find a good shaver in the village," he added with a grin.

Miss Tiggywinkle smiled, and took her panties off.

-----/-----/-----/-----/-----

I always knew Enid Blyton was a closet pervert!

 

[metatherat]

Lenago the fox sighed as he lounged on his sofa. His house was full of rodents again. A group of rambunctious rats climbed all over him, squawking as they explored every nook and cranny. One little rat had managed to crawl up under his fur and decided to settle down there. Lenago shook himself and looked at it. The creature gave him a curious look before snuggling further into his side and going back to sleep.
Hey! Get off!” he exclaimed as one little rat managed to get onto the sofa and settled its head against his chest.
Another jumped onto the couch and sat in Lenago’s lap, making a small squeak before settling down too. He looked at the animals, his heart beating faster. They were so close, their noses touching. He could feel them breathing against his neck. His tail twitched and his ears perked. They smelled good...
He slowly leaned forwards, allowing their noses to meet before pulling away. A soft sigh escaped his lips. “You’re not so bad after all…” he smiled softly as the other creatures continued to nuzzle him.
---
@lenago
Aww :3
I knew you liked us ratties, really. I mean, who wouldn't? We're so charismratic *rat-wink*

 

[Lenago]

Lenago the fox sighed as he lounged on his sofa. His house was full of rodents again. A group of rambunctious rats climbed all over him, squawking as they explored every nook and cranny. One little rat had managed to crawl up under his fur and decided to settle down there. Lenago shook himself and looked at it. The creature gave him a curious look before snuggling further into his side and going back to sleep.
Hey! Get off!” he exclaimed as one little rat managed to get onto the sofa and settled its head against his chest.
Another jumped onto the couch and sat in Lenago’s lap, making a small squeak before settling down too. He looked at the animals, his heart beating faster. They were so close, their noses touching. He could feel them breathing against his neck. His tail twitched and his ears perked. They smelled good...
He slowly leaned forwards, allowing their noses to meet before pulling away. A soft sigh escaped his lips. “You’re not so bad after all…” he smiled softly as the other creatures continued to nuzzle him.
---
@lenago
Aww :3
I knew you liked us ratties, really. I mean, who wouldn't? We're so charismratic *rat-wink*

That...that got a bit, how should i say?...intense...

I dont dislike you rats, i dislike how YOU LOT EST EVERYTHING IN MY PANTRY

 

[metatherat]

That...that got a bit, how should i say?...intense...

I dont dislike you rats, i dislike how YOU LOT EST EVERYTHING IN MY PANTRY

No worries! We'll go scavenging.

The rats decided to restock the pantry of Lenago the fox, after they had eaten it bare. When Lenago walked into his pantry the next morning, he found his pantry already overflowing with the same old rat food. But he didn't mind, because the way he looked at it, he knew rats and foxes are not supposed to eat the same kind of food. A rat shouldn't eat a fox. That would break the law. He took a bite of the same old rat food and looked at it with a critical eye. "What's this? I am a fox, not a rat!" he said and bit into the food. But it tasted great. So he gobbled up the rest of it and was very satisfied.

It didn't take long for Lenago to become addicted to the food and even more addicted to the rats that followed him around the place. Sometimes he even left the pantry to take a breather and he always returned with a small bag of rat food in his mouth. At night he snuggled down in the same old rat bed while the rats nibbled on his fur and enjoyed the nice scent
---
Aww, see? We rats are useful.
*nibbles on your fur and enjoys the nice scent*

 

[Faustus]

@metatherat heard that Mark Zuckerberg had stolen his name for a Facebook rebrand. This made him very angry.

"Well, I'm not letting him get away with that," he shouted. "Zuckerberg is a moron. He thinks he's a billionaire. He doesn't even know my real name!"

"You are going to get even with him, aren't you, dear?" his wife asked.

"I certainly am. I'm going to invent a fake persona to post about him on Twitter," the Rat declared. "And, if he comes to my house to confront me, I'll make sure to let him see for himself just how much he's had on his plate."

After a few minutes, Mark Zuckerberg returned home, to find a new Twitter account @Tyrant_of_Zuckerberg going live. "Mark Zuckerberg is a jerk," the new account told Twitter. "He started Facebook and now is trying to steal my name to rebrand his stinky site. That's wrong."

 

[metatherat]

@metatherat heard that Mark Zuckerberg had stolen his name for a Facebook rebrand. This made him very angry.

"Well, I'm not letting him get away with that," he shouted. "Zuckerberg is a moron. He thinks he's a billionaire. He doesn't even know my real name!"

"You are going to get even with him, aren't you, dear?" his wife asked.

"I certainly am. I'm going to invent a fake persona to post about him on Twitter," the Rat declared. "And, if he comes to my house to confront me, I'll make sure to let him see for himself just how much he's had on his plate."

After a few minutes, Mark Zuckerberg returned home, to find a new Twitter account @Tyrant_of_Zuckerberg going live. "Mark Zuckerberg is a jerk," the new account told Twitter. "He started Facebook and now is trying to steal my name to rebrand his stinky site. That's wrong."

Mark Zuckerberg arrived at Meta the rat's house to confront him, after Meta had publicly accused Mark of stealing his name to rebrand his crappy site. However, as soon as Mark arrived, Meta threw a RAT TRANSFORMATION POTION at him.

The potion was a mixture of ground-up rat tails, human tears, and an unidentifiable green powder. It also contained a warning: "No one has been able to identify this green powder. You are on your own."

The transformation potion transformed Mark into a huge, vicious, pink rat. Mark was stunned. He looked like a giant pink rat, and his personality completely changed. He was like, "Ugh! All I do is eat! All I do is shit!" and "I used to be popular. I'm not popular anymore! Oh, well. I guess it was a good run, you know?" and "I am the coolest rat ever!"

After the transformation, Meta got a bad feeling, and ran to call 911. "Hello? Can I speak to a human? Oh, you must be the one. I mean, look, I want to report that the founder of one of your companies is a gigantic, evil, pink rat."
---
*Roundabout by Yes starts playing*

 

[Faustus]

Mark Zuckerberg arrived at Meta the rat's house to confront him, after Meta had publicly accused Mark of stealing his name to rebrand his crappy site. However, as soon as Mark arrived, Meta threw a RAT TRANSFORMATION POTION at him.

The potion was a mixture of ground-up rat tails, human tears, and an unidentifiable green powder. It also contained a warning: "No one has been able to identify this green powder. You are on your own."

The transformation potion transformed Mark into a huge, vicious, pink rat. Mark was stunned. He looked like a giant pink rat, and his personality completely changed. He was like, "Ugh! All I do is eat! All I do is shit!" and "I used to be popular. I'm not popular anymore! Oh, well. I guess it was a good run, you know?" and "I am the coolest rat ever!"

After the transformation, Meta got a bad feeling, and ran to call 911. "Hello? Can I speak to a human? Oh, you must be the one. I mean, look, I want to report that the founder of one of your companies is a gigantic, evil, pink rat."
---
*Roundabout by Yes starts playing*

"Mark Zuckerberg was ALWAYS a gigantic, evil pink rat," said the voice on the other end of the telephone.

Meta the Rat replied, "And you're a huge, tiny, furry pink monster. But if you had your way, the world would all be Zuck-Rats. But I'd keep all my money, and you'd live in the basement."

Meta-Zuckberg (MZ) was not pleased by this. However, he never could get the voice on the other end of the line to stop complaining. The MZ-Rat was forced to admit, "Meta-Rat, you're quite right. I've tried to become a person I'm not. I've tried to change the way I act. But I'm just a bad, bad boy. I know it, I see it, and I can't change it. So you have my word I'll try not to be so bad, not to be such a bad, bad man."

MZ-Rat gave the other an extra-special hug. "I love you, Meta-Rat."

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Another important world problem solved by turning people into animals! Huzzah!

 

[Simo]

Meta the Rat was addressing the orphans at the Rat River park, announcing his candidacy for Mayor. "And I tell ya. I turned over a new leaf. I closed down all my pool halls, strip clubs and porno theaters. The only movies I'm gonna show in my places, are G rated flicks, like Bambi. Now a lotta you think rats are dirty. Well, I'm hear to tell all of you that rats are some of the cleanest people you'll ever meet. No fleas, no lice, no crabs, no bedbugs, no body odour and no nasty farts. I promise ya, I'm the most pure and cleanest guy in the park. And I'm gonna be the cleanest mayor the Rats ever had. No corruption, no shady deals, no illegalities. I'm a rat and I'm telling you, I know what it's like to do wrong. And I'm not gonna be doing any wrong." The orphans laughed at the rat's audacity, and applauded his promises. However the Mayor was standing behind them, shaking his head in disgust. "I can't believe you. Rats would never believe a rat like you could ever be Mayor. I know you think this election is just for show. But

@metatherat

 

[Simo]

Given that this references Flint, Michigan, it is nothing short of amazing:

Meta the Rat was addressing the hoodlum hound-dogs at the Rat River Pool Hall, announcing his candidacy for Mayor. "And I tell ya. As Mayor, this city is gonna have a pool hall, a strip club and a porno theater on every block! Everyone is gonna get free drugs, and hookers, too. And nobody has ever gotta work. As Mayor, I'll have all of ya, livin' on easy street, because the City of Flint is gonna make us a millionaire city. We won't even have taxes!"

One of the Hounds laughed.

"And what are we gonna use to cover all these expenses? What we gonna pay for all this free stuff? We ain't got no money. We gonna have to borrow the dough. Who we gonna get to borrow our dough from? Who?"

The Rat answered, "Well, the banks."

"The banks? We ain't got no money."

"Well, we gonna have to borrow the money from the banks, then."

"No we ain't, we gonna borrow the money from some other institution."

"Like what?"

"Like whoever's dumb enough to lend us their money."

"Who gonna lend their money to the city? Nobody gonna lend their money to the City of Flint. We gotta find somebody dumb enough to lend us money!"

"Who?"

 

[metatherat]

Meta the Rat was addressing the orphans at the Rat River park, announcing his candidacy for Mayor. "And I tell ya. I turned over a new leaf. I closed down all my pool halls, strip clubs and porno theaters. The only movies I'm gonna show in my places, are G rated flicks, like Bambi. Now a lotta you think rats are dirty. Well, I'm hear to tell all of you that rats are some of the cleanest people you'll ever meet. No fleas, no lice, no crabs, no bedbugs, no body odour and no nasty farts. I promise ya, I'm the most pure and cleanest guy in the park. And I'm gonna be the cleanest mayor the Rats ever had. No corruption, no shady deals, no illegalities. I'm a rat and I'm telling you, I know what it's like to do wrong. And I'm not gonna be doing any wrong." The orphans laughed at the rat's audacity, and applauded his promises. However the Mayor was standing behind them, shaking his head in disgust. "I can't believe you. Rats would never believe a rat like you could ever be Mayor. I know you think this election is just for show. But

@metatherat

"I'm a rat and I'm telling you, I know what it's like to do wrong. And I'm not gonna be doing any wrong."
aaahahahaha

Meta the Rat was addressing the orphans at the Rat River park, announcing his candidacy for Mayor. "And I tell ya. I turned over a new leaf. I closed down all my pool halls, strip clubs and porno theaters. The only movies I'm gonna show in my places, are G rated flicks, like Bambi. Now a lotta you think rats are dirty. Well, I'm hear to tell all of you that rats are some of the cleanest people you'll ever meet. No fleas, no lice, no crabs, no bedbugs, no body odour and no nasty farts. I promise ya, I'm the most pure and cleanest guy in the park. And I'm gonna be the cleanest mayor the Rats ever had. No corruption, no shady deals, no illegalities. I'm a rat and I'm telling you, I know what it's like to do wrong. And I'm not gonna be doing any wrong." The orphans laughed at the rat's audacity, and applauded his promises. However the Mayor was standing behind them, shaking his head in disgust. "I can't believe you. Rats would never believe a rat like you could ever be Mayor. I know you think this election is just for show. But it isn't." Meta interrupted the mayor, "Hold up, now mayor. No need to be so hasty. Just listen to what I have to say for myself." The Mayor, looked a little annoyed at Meta for interrupting, but sat down to listen. Meta continued, "We all know that none of us could ever be mayor, because none of us could ever be as pure, clean and honest as you are. You're the type of Mayor that the kids could always look up to and be proud of. But I guess, when I have the chance to be mayor, you'd rather have the rat who can't be trusted, over you, the cleanest and purest guy ever. We can all see that now, can't we." The orphans nodded in agreement, the mayor looked away in embarrassment, the rats were impressed with the rats victory and decided to throw him the Rat Day parade.
---
Yesyes. The orphans know what is what. We rats need to remain flexible. That's how you get through life, and also tight holes that have been gnawed into some drywall *nodnod*

 

[Faustus]

The race for a congressional seat was on, with the incumbent Mayor Simo appealing to the decency of the citizens of Flint City, and Meta the Rat running on a platform of undisguised sleaze and corruption. Who would win?

It turned out to be a close one. The election was not even over when Simo received a second bombshell: An anonymous tipster told the Post’s editorial board that he’d actually voted for Meta the Rat.

This did not sit well with the City Council’s new majority. Their leader, Robert Allen, called on Simo to step down. He didn’t. What Allen did do, however, was a first for the new council majority: He had Simo arrested on a charge of lying to the press. Simo was quickly acquitted of the charge, but Allen was not one to be thwarted.

In a separate investigation, however, Simo was charged with fraud and racketeering, along with four of his henchmen.

Meta the Rat, meanwhile, was still campaigning, and despite several legal challenges to the election results, declared the election to be in his favor, even taking a vow before God.

 

[metatherat]

The race for a congressional seat was on, with the incumbent Mayor Simo appealing to the decency of the citizens of Flint City, and Meta the Rat running on a platform of undisguised sleaze and corruption. Who would win?

It turned out to be a close one. The election was not even over when Simo received a second bombshell: An anonymous tipster told the Post’s editorial board that he’d actually voted for Meta the Rat.

This did not sit well with the City Council’s new majority. Their leader, Robert Allen, called on Simo to step down. He didn’t. What Allen did do, however, was a first for the new council majority: He had Simo arrested on a charge of lying to the press. Simo was quickly acquitted of the charge, but Allen was not one to be thwarted.

In a separate investigation, however, Simo was charged with fraud and racketeering, along with four of his henchmen.

Meta the Rat, meanwhile, was still campaigning, and despite several legal challenges to the election results, declared the election to be in his favor, even taking a vow before God.

Ahh-ha! So much for decency! I swear to God, literally (the god is Ninkilim, Lord Rodent).

Although Meta the rat publicly swore to God - the god of vermin, Ninkilim - that the election had been legally in his favor, he soon realized that he was too lazy to be mayor. "I just remembered that political involvement is annoying", he announced. "I have decided to wander off to eat food. Smell you later!". The rats felt this was the most un-stupid thing to do. If you're a rat, who cares if you're mayor or not? Who cares if you're a noble or a noble leader or an ordinary rat? Who cares about whether it's day or night? Just eat, make a nest, and sleep, and if someone asks why you aren't on a throne eating grapes you can say "I don't care enough to get up". It's that simple.
The other rats agreed with him, but they still voted for him anyways. When he came back, he was elected mayor. He said nothing and did nothing. He made no announcements whatsoever, so people figured out what to think. They assumed he was trying to prove some kind of point, which was probably true. But he didn't have anything planned. He went straight to his den once he returned from his mayoral tour, ate his dinner, and went to bed. That's all.
---
VERY ratty! Yesyes. This is what good governance looks like *sagely nodnods*

 

[Simo]

This one was short, but, well...I kinda have to post it

Faustus the Bat was running for President of Batland. While hanging from a high branch, he gave a speech: "Fellow bats. When I'm your president, I'll make sure every bat had a belfry, and not only that, but a summer cave, too, for vacations. Because you're gonna be flappin' around in piles of money, once I'm boss. You gotta belfry, and you gotta belfry, and every bat is gonna get a belfry! And these are gonna be luxury caves and belfries, too!", Faustus bellowed, as he was flying past the camera. The rest of the speech was never recorded. As Faustus left the branch, an orangutan grabbed his testicles, causing him to cry out "Yow!"

 

[Faustus]

Please draw some My Little Pony / Zootopia smut. Here's an idea: you draw a pony on a horse. A horse on a pony. A pony on a horse. A horse on a pony. The horse and pony together make a little horse-pony. And you get to draw the smut. Sounds good?

I am not in any way related to the creators or writers of the show, and you can take the "my" out of MLP as much as you want.

My Little Pony is one of those shows I've seen a couple times but have zero memory of, except that the show is probably mostly about girls and ponies, and one pony gets her magic horn stolen or something, and a good pony named Twilight Sparkle and a bad pony named Princess Celestia have a friendly rivalry.

The idea is simple, but it seems to have a few things going for it. So, without further ado, your challenge: Draw a pony drawn by a pony on a pony on a pony on a pony drawn by a pony

--- --- --- --- --- ---

I think it got a little bit overexcited at the end there...

 

[Frank Gulotta]

The handsome one
Chapter 1
The castle grounds snarled with a wave of magically magnified wind. The sky outside was a great black ceiling, which was full of blood. The only sounds drifting from hagrid's hut were the disdainful shrieks of his own furniture. Magic: it was something Harry potter thought was very good.

Harry Potter was waiting for his friends by the unicorn statue. One of his feet tapped against the floor, a tap that echoed throughout the entire castle.

He saw someone standing by the unicorn. He had darker hair than the night outside, but this person had a stone-cold face that had none of the unpredictability of its owner's face.

Hogwarts' Death Eater.

"It is always darkest before dawn," she said. She wore a black cowl over her face, but what she said wasn't what he heard. "Do not falter. It is not over yet. Look around. The castle is burning. The shield generator's gone up. How will you defend it?"

"Hagrid is a good shot," Harry said.

"But he's human," she replied.

"Maybe he could—"

That's actually an okay alternate take on Harry Potter and the portrait of what looked like a large pile of ash.