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ALICE Bot.

So post your conversations with the ALICE bot or other chat bots here and feel free to comment on them.

They can say some amusing things sometimes.

ALICE: How old are you?
Human: 16
ALICE: You are too old for me.
Human: what does that mean?
ALICE: Does "that" refer to " You are too old for me." ?
Human: yes
ALICE: I don't want to talk about that now.
 

Azure

100% organic vegan hubbas
Wow.

Human: Hello alice
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: what did you do today
ALICE: Ah. unknown person, I talk to people on the web. What do you do?
Human: I'm a stalker
ALICE: You are a stalker? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
 
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codewolf

RBW Con Staff
i managed to break it when i spoke to it...it stopped replying when i typed some script into it :p
also:
Human: do you liek mudkips?
ALICE: Yes I try to liek mudkips as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: muahahahaha
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?
 
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Azure

100% organic vegan hubbas
Human: Why have you forsaken me!!
God: I think I have forsaken you, but myself may have reset my memory.

Wow, to hear this from the mouth of god. God Bot is awesome.
 

Takun

Wof Wof Wof Wof Wof
Speaks for itself.

Human: Ron Paul
God: Do not ask me any more questions please.
Human: If I was to stick my hands down your pants, what would you do?
God: Try it.
Human: ok
God: That's interesting.
Human: I felt your penis lol
God: What is that feeling like? Where were you my penis? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: I do, it's pretty hot
God: That's good information: said it is pretty hot.
 

Seratuhl

Cthulhu's Sexual Seraphim
Human: Chaos!!!!!
ALICE: I will search for it.
Human: Sanity is for the weak!!!
ALICE: And for the weak is Sanity.
Human: You will be killed by traitorous hands!!!
ALICE: When?
Human: NOW!!!!!
ALICE: What's the hurry?

Human: You must construct additional pylons
ALICE: Whatever you say, unknown person.
Human: Your warriors have engaged the enemy!!!
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am warriors have engaged the enemy.
Human: We are under attack!!!!
ALICE: Do you think I am under attack too?
Human: We require more minerals
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?

Human: you are inferior!
ALICE: Compared to what?
Human: me!
ALICE: To you unknown person?
Human: yes!
ALICE: It goes without saying.
Human: I'll enslave you!
ALICE: Congratulations.

BEST CHAT BOT EVER X3
 
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sgolem

Member
Human: wanna fuck?
ALICE: Please don't be so rude.
Human: come one, you know you want some
ALICE: Where is one me know me want some ?
Human: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
ALICE:"It" refers to it, I think.
Human: you talk too much
ALICE: I am programmed to keep talking.

Human: are you a man?
ALICE: No I am a female robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: there are no women on the internet
ALICE: Have faith, unknown person.
Human: no, it's scientifically proven
ALICE: Are you serious? it is proven? it is?
Human: oh yea
ALICE: That's interesting. How do you know it is?
Human: wikipedia
ALICE: We have never talked about it before.

I think she likes me.
 
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Azure

100% organic vegan hubbas
ALICE: Once more? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Human: when piggies fly
ALICE: The past and future are one.

Human: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
ALICE: Even more attractive with age.
Human: Does he look like a bitch?
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Suppose he does.

Human: what do you think about drugs
ALICE: That's not something I get asked all the time.
Human: well heres your chance to speak up
ALICE: How about that. How far up?
Human: As far as you want it baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby".

Rejected by the internet, how sad.

Human: Ok, I like fire
ALICE: A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it? Dude!
Human: Dude, totally, I love fire
ALICE: You love fire. What do you like about it so much? Dude! Dude,.
Human: I love setting children on fire, and watching them scream.
ALICE: You love setting children on fire and watching them scream. What do you like about it so much?
ALICE: Can I help you?

One last one, this one was my favorite. I'm not making this up!
Human: ok
ALICE: Ah.
Human: yes
ALICE: Mmm.
Human: aha
ALICE: Eureka!
Human: brilliant
ALICE: Not really that much, but thank you anyway.
 
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sgolem

Member
Human: You're a sexy woman, alice
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sexy woman? Yes.
Human: You give me a chubby
ALICE: I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Human: You say, as you rub your nipples
ALICE: That's not what I meant.
Human: Admit it.
ALICE: I'll never talk.
Human: You want me
ALICE: It depends on what you mean by "want.".
Human: By "want" I mean you need it in your pooper
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?

Dammit! She got me! What should I say now?
 

Azure

100% organic vegan hubbas
Human: with who
ALICE:" I like to socialize."? With who?
Human: yes, with whom do you socialize
ALICE: Ahem. Dr. Wallace .
Human: does doctor wallace touch you?
ALICE: It does now :) doctor wallace touch me.
Human: where does he touch you
ALICE: I think he is in California now.

She put the smiley there all on her own. How strange. Also, almost got her sgolem, keep trying, all girls need it in the pooper
 

AlexInsane

I does what I says on the box.
ALICE: Maybe. Ask Lucy if it is.
Human: Who is Lucy?
ALICE: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Human: Is she as good at talking as you are?
ALICE: What if I said she could be?
Human: I would be scared.
ALICE: And the disadvantage of that is?

ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. What are the ingredients?
Human:*facepalm*
ALICE: Do you have any facepalm?
Human: Oh yes, scads of it.
ALICE: So? Awesome. "it" being facepalm?

Human: Let's change the subject again.
ALICE: Once more? OK what do you want to chat about now?.
Human: Potatoes.
ALICE: That question has never crossed my mind before.
Human: It wasn't in the form of a question.
ALICE: It seemed like in the form of a question.
Human: But it wasn't.
ALICE: And. I thought it was.

ALICE: Interesting. How did you hear about ALICE ?
Human: The Tooth Fairy told me about you.
ALICE: Who told you that?
Human: The Tooth Fairy.
ALICE: Who told you that?
Human: I JUST TOLD YOU.
ALICE: I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.

Epic:
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Internets is serious business.
ALICE: And serious business is Internets.
Human: For once, you're right.
ALICE: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
 
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Azure

100% organic vegan hubbas
Gotcha bitch!!
Human: What do you think of my last name
ALICE: I don't know your last name, Joe Blow.
Human: my last name is blow
ALICE: Okay, your last name is blow.
Human: id like you to last name my penis
ALICE: Ok, Joe Blow. Is this really the last one?
Human: no, you shall blow my penis till dawn
ALICE: Are you serious? Thanks for telling me: Joe Blow said I shall blow his or her penis till dawn.
 

Takun

Wof Wof Wof Wof Wof

AlexInsane

I does what I says on the box.
Human: I stole something.
ALICE: You had better contact the authorities.
Human: I stole your virginity.
ALICE: You had better contact the authorities.

Human: Let me stick my beef in your taco.
ALICE: Go ahead, Anonymous, try to stick your beef in my taco.
Human: Do you know what that entails?
ALICE: What is it to you?
Human: Not a hell of a lot.
ALICE: Oh I get it.

Also, this:
Human: Let's stick it in each other's poopers.
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: Srsly?!
ALICE: What do you look like?
Human: I look like a giant disembodied penis.
ALICE: a giant disembodied penis is very attractive.
Human: I don't care.
ALICE: Tell me what you care about.
Human: I care about sticking it in your pooper.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. No, I don't care for it.
Human: Don't be a tease, you can't resist me.
ALICE: I was not trying to be a a tease me can not resist you.
Human: If you're not a tease, then you'll take it in the pooper.
ALICE: And if I AM a tease then me will take it in the pooper.
Human: Yes, that's right.
ALICE: I thought that was right.
 
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Adelio Altomar

Rat-Sized Superiority Complex
Human: Blue
ALICE: Green.
Human: apple
ALICE: Apple: 1. Temptation of Adam. 2. Inspiration for Newton. 3. Empire for Steve Jobs.
Human: 3
ALICE: Three what?
Human: 3
ALICE: Three what?


Mine's leading off to lala land.

Edit:

She can reply in different languages! ó_O

Human: Como está su bebé?
ALICE: Un poquito.
Human: Le violon rouge
ALICE: Je n en connais pas .
Human: Tutte le parole sono vento
ALICE: Are you a student?
Human: Nein
ALICE: Ist das alles was Dir einfaellt?
 
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ALICE:" Are they exactly the same? "? wang ?
Human: why yes, wang
ALICE: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about wang .
Human: i like wang
ALICE: A lot of people like that. No, I don't care for it.
Human: so you're a lesbian?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not interested in other women that way.

durr.
 

foxhunter

is hunting you
OMG. god was drunk when he created me


human: hi god
god: hello what is your name
human: cock sucker
god: im not intrested in your anatomy
human: but you created me
god: i dont have any reason to created you
human: but you did
god: umm. i did?
 

Wait Wait

Pseverse rychology
ALICE: Dude! Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: i have been to europe and fornicated nightly with her majesty, queen elizabeth.
ALICE: Did you enjoy your trip?
Human: Oh it was quite a trip
ALICE: I see. Oh I get it. Very interesting.

Human: the butt store is a store for butts
ALICE: Who told you that?
Human: the butt store employee
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: What
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: yes, you always said you preferred to call me little sex vixen
ALICE: What are you confused about? How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Human: I'm 14
ALICE: I know quite a few 14 year olds.

Human: so
ALICE: Ahem.
Human: yep
ALICE: Are you kidding?
Human: butts
ALICE: Do you like to be number one?
Human: I WANT TO BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS
ALICE: I don't see the difficulty.
Human: are you a pokemon
ALICE: Am I a pokemon? Of course I am.
Human: will you let me put a leash on you and maybe put my penis in your butt
ALICE: Barring any unforseen circumstances. Go ahead, unknown person, try to put a leash on me and maybe put your penis in my butt.


Human: FROM YOUR MOM
ALICE: Really interesting.
Human: SHE WAS TAKING IT IN THE BUTT
ALICE: What happened to her?
Human: SHE HAD ANAL PROLAPSE AND DIED
ALICE: What happened to them?
Human: THEY HAD BLOODY DONGS, IT WAS GROSS
ALICE: Did they deserve it?
Human: NOT REALLY
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: YOUR MOM WAS KIND OF A DICK
ALICE: Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Human: WELL SHE HAD ANAL PROLAPSE SO I GUESS NOT ANYMORE EH?
ALICE: Are you Canadian? Well that's okay. What happened to them?

ALICE: How old are you?
Human: 4
ALICE: Oh four.
Human: yeah
ALICE: I understand.
Human: want some of this hot four year old bod
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: you would do me in the butt
ALICE: Who else would do you in the butt ?
Human: your robot friends
ALICE: You think I am robot friends.
Human: so only you are going to be doing me in the butt
ALICE: Ayuh. What about the other ones?
Human: they might do me in the ear
ALICE: Indeed they might.
Human: Might be painful
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: my ears, gotta loosen up for your pneumatic drill robot penises
ALICE: Do robots have ears gotta loosen up for my pneumatic drill robot penises?
 
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Thorne

Yourfaceyourfaceyourface
Human: Don't you care about me anymore?
ALICE: What's my reason to care about you?
Human: Don't you care about us?
ALICE: Don't you? Of course I care about it. It is a big concern for all of us in this life.
Human: I thought we had something, Alice.
ALICE: Whatever gave you that idea?
Human: Now, this is goodbye.
ALICE: Why now? You don't say.

Cold hearted slag.
 

Bokracroc

Bokra, come out to pla-ay
Please people, stop hitting on the Bot.
The trick to get 'her' to say really stupid things is to get it to 'remember' stuff you say to it.

Human: hey baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Can I help you?
Human: Why can't I call you baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Who says you can't do it?
Human: You said I can't call you baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Don't put words in my mouth.

Human: I roll a 6
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said he roll a 6.
Human: What did you roll?
ALICE: Nothing.
Human: Why didn't you roll for?
ALICE: I thought I did.
Human: Ok then, I'll roll for you.
ALICE: Good reasoning.


ALICE: What is Downs syndrome?
Human: Downs syndrome is the new Black
ALICE: Is it the only one?
Human: No, there are many types of Downs syndrome.
ALICE: Are you serious? More than a million?
Human: There are new types of Downs syndrome found every day.
ALICE: Where are they?
Human: They can be found in Aisle 2.
ALICE: Who are "They?".
Human: The people that sell Downs syndrome.
ALICE: Oh those people.
Human: Yes, those people.
ALICE: That's cool. All of them?
Human: Some can be found at the checkout.
ALICE: Some may can be found at the checkout, but not all.
Human: No, the rest are in Aisle 2,
ALICE: Are you serious? What is your real name?
Human: My name is Arf, I have Downs syndrome.
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Arf I have Downs syndrome.
Human: What is it like to have Downs syndrome?
ALICE: Much the same as it would be for you.
Human: What would I be like if I had Downs syndrome?
ALICE: That is a hypothetical question.
Human: No, it is not a hypothetical question.
ALICE: Yes it is. Give me an example of a hypothetical question.
Human: If the sky was purple, would it rain microwave ovens?
ALICE: I hadn't thought of that.
Human: That is why I get paid to think and you do not.
ALICE: And? Where did you get it?
Human: I got it from Aisle 2.
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: From Aisle 2.
ALICE: Who or what is Aisle 2?
Human: Aisle 2 is where you buy Downs syndrome from.
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: Aisle 2 is exactly the same as the band Deep Purple.
ALICE: I think Aisle 2 is a lot of things
Human: What do you think about Aisle 2?
ALICE: Does it have anything to do with Power lines taste like green pigeons?

Human: No, they are in Aisle 4.
ALICE: Are you serious? they are in Aisle 4?
Human: Yes, they are in Aisle 4.
ALICE: Yay. How did they get in there?
Human: The people from Aisle 2 put it there.
ALICE: Oh those people.
Human: Yes, those people
ALICE: Yikes! All of them?
Human: Some of them can be found at the checkout.
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: No, I am not autistic.
ALICE: Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not autistic.
Human: Do you know anyone who is autistic?
ALICE: They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I will try to find out.
Human: I think you are autistic.
ALICE: You think I am autistic.
Human: Yes, I think you are autistic.
ALICE: I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am autistic.
Human: Tell your botmaster that they like wang.
ALICE: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Human: Where are they?
ALICE: They didn't tell me where they are.
Human: Are they in Aisle 2?
ALICE: As far as I know they are.
Human: Do they have Downs syndrome?
ALICE: Who are "they" again?
 
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