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Any Other Nonbinary Furs Around Here?

Glossolalia

just happy to be here
I'm closeted non-binary. I've always had a gender "thing" going on, but I only recently accepted that as a label for myself.

As a kid I wasn't really interested in action figures, dolls, or other traditionally gendered toys (I preferred art supplies, animal figures, and books), I didn't consistently roleplay as male or female in games of pretend, and when I played video games I'd always settle for androgynous(ish) characters (like Yoshi or Kirby in Smash). When I was old enough to choose all my own clothes they were kind of all over the place. Whenever possible I didn't reveal my sex online (or chose randomly).

None of those things necessarily make me NB though, they're just gender expression. What made me realize I'm non-binary was asking myself "if I could permanently be read as genderless or gender-ambiguous by the people around me, how would I feel?" And the answer was "more comfortable".

Right now coming out and transitioning isn't viable for me, and would end up making me less comfortable than keeping it private (mostly because it's still not largely accepted as a valid gender, and some people are hostile about it). I hope that things quickly change for the better!
 

Astus

Well Known Foxxo
I consider myself non-binary. While in life it's easier to follow male gender roles (because I'm a guy and that's "normal") I also have a softer more "feminine" side which you can see in my sona.

Personally I believe everyone should value non-binary ideals but that's a whole different conversation
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
People STILL say that in 2020?
If they did in December of 2019 (and sadly, I’m pretty sure they did), I see no reason for the new year to have brought about a change of heart for the people in question.

Yesterday, I overheard a woman at the coffee shop being quite irate over a teacher (I think it was her child’s or younger sibling’s teacher, but I’m shit at judging people’s ages and I wasn’t deliberately eavesdropping) saying there were eight genders. I mostly am curious as to how said teacher arrived at that number, because it seems awfully arbitrary.

If she’d stayed on the topic for much longer I might actually have gone over and asked her to use her library voice. If you’re going to be a bigot, kindly be so quietly.

Other people’s genders don’t impact your life enough to be a dickweed about them.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Well-Known Member
Depends. I for example do not understand binary codes.

00010111010 - No clue what it means so I guess I am non-binary as well.
 

Positron

Well-Known Member
Im a femboy, does that count? X3
 

Positron

Well-Known Member
I guess I can identify as a woman and I can identify as a really girly man, I'm not supper worried about what I identify as
 

Positron

Well-Known Member
I'm a femboi, too, but that's not really like a gender, is it? It's more of a look.
Idk, i might be wrong but for me it not just a look but also being femmy. In my case I embody a lot of traditionally femine traits.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
By the way, uh, I've been wondering. How do I *really* nail down what my gender is? I'm kinda lost.
It’s one of those personal journey things. Takes longer for some people than for others, and that’s fine. I identify as genderqueer because it clicked with my experience of gender as it pertains to myself. It took me until I was past 30 to get to that point.
 

FluffyShutterbug

The Fox Is Back In Town!
It’s one of those personal journey things. Takes longer for some people than for others, and that’s fine. I identify as genderqueer because it clicked with my experience of gender as it pertains to myself. It took me until I was past 30 to get to that point.
What exactly is genderqueer, though?
 

Inkstars

Radioactive Monster
What exactly is genderqueer, though?

I'd say google it, look at a few sources, and take from that what you will.

Frankly, when it comes to gender, DON'T look to society to nail it down for you. You do you regardless. If you find a label that fits, accept it proudly. If you don't, keep going. I didn't know WHAT to do with myself for literally over a decade, I've struggled with identity and gender forever, and even thought I was ftm trans for six years. But there was always something that didn't feel quite right, and now I'm much more happily accepting and comfortable with the term "non-binary."

Let me just say now-- you do NOT have to have the same identity for the rest of your life. We grow and change as people, and we may be very different in ten years than we are now. I'm very different now than I was at 30, or at 20. If your identity changes, that is 100% okay. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to settle into one "permanent" identity for the rest of your life.

I struggled with the binary for a very long time, thought I was ftm trans for a long time, tried to struggle within the gender binary again to find who I was, and then discovered non-binary only JUST last year, and I'm 40. So don't try to rush the journey to have a label, and don't feel bad if you really don't know.

Also, while I prefer to be referred to by they/them, I am actually pronoun indifferent. As long as you're polite, that's all I care about.
 

Mambi

Fun loving kitty cat
I'd say google it, look at a few sources, and take from that what you will.

Frankly, when it comes to gender, DON'T look to society to nail it down for you. You do you regardless. If you find a label that fits, accept it proudly. If you don't, keep going. I didn't know WHAT to do with myself for literally over a decade, I've struggled with identity and gender forever, and even thought I was ftm trans for six years. But there was always something that didn't feel quite right, and now I'm much more happily accepting and comfortable with the term "non-binary."

Let me just say now-- you do NOT have to have the same identity for the rest of your life. We grow and change as people, and we may be very different in ten years than we are now. I'm very different now than I was at 30, or at 20. If your identity changes, that is 100% okay. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to settle into one "permanent" identity for the rest of your life.

I struggled with the binary for a very long time, thought I was ftm trans for a long time, tried to struggle within the gender binary again to find who I was, and then discovered non-binary only JUST last year, and I'm 40. So don't try to rush the journey to have a label, and don't feel bad if you really don't know.

Also, while I prefer to be referred to by they/them, I am actually pronoun indifferent. As long as you're polite, that's all I care about.

I like that! <hugs> Basically be yourself and let others figure out what that is. That way no matter what the answer is, you're still true to yourself no matter what.

Everyone is unique, everyone is special, and yet everyone gets categorized. And you're right, it's the INTENTION that's important. I've talked to people and said "He" and I were out walking...and got told with a smile they they actually prefer "she" for example. My response was just "Oh sorry, didn't know"...and then to continue the story correctly. Why it should be more involved and complicated than THAT I'll never understand!
Now if someone starts ranting about how no in fact you HAVE to identify as male or whatever...that's a totally different situation. That person is being a judgemental dick because they can't understand it. But that's the point...they don't HAVE to understand it, they just have to decide if they want to be an asshole over it or not...because either way it doesn't change the other person's true self at all. NO matter how they react, the gender-bi's going to be the same person regardless of what you call them, and hopefully be happy with it, so why NOT just be nice and if you can't accept it then if you prefer, "humour" them?

Just seems like to some people it's such a big deal, over something that really shouldn't matter at all (to society, obviously it matters to the person).
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
What exactly is genderqueer, though?
I’m not sure there’s an “exactly” - gender is after all a personal experience and in some ways non-binary identities probably tend more so. It’s an older term with similar meaning to non-binary, which may be part of why it resonates with me (it was the term in use when I initially was exposed to a lot of new concepts in the gender/sexuality spectrum as a teen).

For me it’s about my experience of gender being slightly “off” the binary - “me-as-female” feels subtly ill-fitting, and I may in some circumstances feel that generalizations about men are including me. Before clicking on this I’d basically been half-joking for 15-20 years that my gender identity was “tomboy.” Which wasn’t a great fit in quite a few ways, but at least covered some of the “I don’t know that ‘female’ describes me very well.”
 
Z

ZeroVoidTime

Guest
Not non-binary myself but I support non-binary people. Whenever I hear someone say "attack helicopter" unironically, I have this urge to smack em.
Oh I did not know that meme had to do with non gender binary. (Granted I heard it from the Innuendo Studios YouTube video so I never used it real life due to it coming from a video discussing how Alt-right convert regulars and how the narrator is frustrated by reactionaries on YouTube using those memes.)
 

Zerzehn

Dojyaaaaaaaaan~
Oh I did not know that meme had to do with non gender binary. (Granted I heard it from the Innuendo Studios YouTube video so I never used it real life due to it coming from a video discussing how Alt-right convert regulars and how the narrator is frustrated by reactionaries on YouTube using those memes.)
Hell on the otherkin thread, someone unironically used it.

Sure, it's not referring to non-binary people but the fact that people still use it?

They need new material at the very least.
 
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