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Any Other Nonbinary Furs Around Here?

Tendo64

Cat With A Guitar
Hi, I'm probably not non-binary myself (although I've questioned myself a few times before arriving to the conclusion I just like to present more tomboyish some days than others), but I just wanted to say I support you all.

Because of a comment I saw here earlier; I'd also like to say it's not a great idea to suppress yourself just because some ignorant people say you don't exist--if that were the case, the entire LGBT community would be included in this. After all, the only way to dispel bigotry is to stand up for yourself rather than hide. Encouraging people to stay quiet will only keep the misinformation spreading.

That's all, I'm mostly commenting here as a way of marking this thread as a way of "research" if you will, in the hopes I can understand enby people a little better, especially as two of my friends are on the non-binary spectrum and I want to support them and make them comfortable however I can.
 

Mambi

Fun loving kitty cat
Hi, I'm probably not non-binary myself (although I've questioned myself a few times before arriving to the conclusion I just like to present more tomboyish some days than others), but I just wanted to say I support you all.

Because of a comment I saw here earlier; I'd also like to say it's not a great idea to suppress yourself just because some ignorant people say you don't exist--if that were the case, the entire LGBT community would be included in this. After all, the only way to dispel bigotry is to stand up for yourself rather than hide. Encouraging people to stay quiet will only keep the misinformation spreading.

That's all, I'm mostly commenting here as a way of marking this thread as a way of "research" if you will, in the hopes I can understand enby people a little better, especially as two of my friends are on the non-binary spectrum and I want to support them and make them comfortable however I can.

I always said, "You have to put up with others just a few hours a day, but you have to live with yourself 24/7 with no escape, so be whoever or whatever you're most comfortable being or you'll never be happy."
 

FluffyShutterbug

The Fox Is Back In Town!
I'm an enby, it's great fun watching people trip over themselves trying to figure out my gender.


Why do you feel the need to nail it down? You could just revel in being ambiguous.
I'm starting to feel like I don't need a label. A close friend who's also enby told me that I can just identify as "nonbinary" and leave it at that. :3
 

Biscayne

many dumb animals
I'm nonbinary. I go between *waves dismissively at being a boy* and *waves dismissively at being a huge dyke*. I've always been cool with any pronouns.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
Don't get depressed. It's great that you can be who you are. I hope some other NB furs join in.

The cavOwOlry is here! (Pun intended)

So, for your information, OP. I am one of those who can't settle on being either gender norms, does that count? My brain is fully ready to pump out helpful comments if you want!

Yea right, screw those who blames us for what we are. Otherwise they have to be blamed for what they are as well! In true liberty, anyone on any side are equal unless doing any harm! (Oopsie, don't get offended unless any one of you mean to torch us in the first place! I'm not here to fight!)

It's good to see someone like me with self-confidence even though the one is 'out of norm'! :3
 

Ziggy Schlacht

Hasn't figured out this "straight" business
So, seeing as this thread's still going and the dumpster fire I almost started went out, I'd like to ask something:

Why do y'all feel choosing non-binary is correct? One of the issues with folks understanding this is most people never question their gender in any meaningful way. I know I haven't. So I'm curious to hear the reasoning (as much as you'd like to share on a public forum).
 

smolmuffin

A teeny muffin
Didn't realize that this thread was still active. I'm nonbinary myself! I like to think that my gender is somewhat fluid, going from somewhat masc, fem and neutral territory. Identifying as 100% male didn't feel right when I was questioning my gender in the beginning (first label I used was demiboy) and I know that I'm not female either I don't mind being somewhat feminine... I just don't want to be seen as female. I'm still figuring the specifics out and that's okay.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
So, seeing as this thread's still going and the dumpster fire I almost started went out, I'd like to ask something:

Why do y'all feel choosing non-binary is correct? One of the issues with folks understanding this is most people never question their gender in any meaningful way. I know I haven't. So I'm curious to hear the reasoning (as much as you'd like to share on a public forum).

Sorry if it seemed to be so, but I never mean to say 'something is right and the other is not' sort of thing. I'd like to respect every types but just can't stand one of them getting discouraged.

If something was such easily to be 'corrected' via discouraging or anything, I simply let them be. But you may already know that it's not that simple. And having seen the 'out of norm' sides are almost always being discouraged if not being torched,(which is natural, but still) I stood out to say 'you shouldn't feel bad for being yourself'.

And as I mentioned, if you are treating everyone with respect, I'm all good with that. However, if anyone is to come and torch one side, then I'm here to counter them. For me, it's like whether someone prefer coffe than tea, and vice versa. No stress at all! My apology if you were offended, I didn't mean to.


And about the 'Why choosing it to be correct?', I can say a few about it.

First of all, I'm never forcing others to accept it or understand it. I know, I was once a normie and I as well couldn't understand the NBs during that time. I as an NB myself still don't expect to get understood or be accepted as it's also not a simple thing. I just want it not to be torched for those NBs' sake of heart and mind.

And even if defending their heart is unaccepted, at least I was tring to help out NBs not to be heartbroken in case they did. (aka. recover) Because being heartbroken with the feeling of being isolated is one of the worst curse possible while alive. Almost always the case, 'out of norm' people can't get rid of the isolation and the isolated feeling.


P.s.
I can't say why the 'out of norms' are always being isolated and get caught a fight just for expressing who they are and the confidence towards it. But since so, I normally never defend my 'abnormal' self and peers towards public, while this thread is one of the few exceptions.
 
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Ziggy Schlacht

Hasn't figured out this "straight" business
Huh? No the first page of this thread was me starting a bit of shitstorm in response to someone being overly confrontational over folks "coming out" or w/e. It started a bit of a tiff.

What I'm asking is, well, clunkily phrase, but I dunno how to ask it. To put it another way, plenty of folks have events that let them figure out they were "gay." And that made sense. I'm curious what made people want to ID as nonbinary. It's a concept one can accept without being able to empathize, so don't take this as a judgement. I'm trying to get the reasoning.
 

Toby_Morpheus

Hello, Proto
So, seeing as this thread's still going and the dumpster fire I almost started went out, I'd like to ask something:

Why do y'all feel choosing non-binary is correct? One of the issues with folks understanding this is most people never question their gender in any meaningful way. I know I haven't. So I'm curious to hear the reasoning (as much as you'd like to share on a public forum).
If my brain were to be put in a female body, i wouldnt lose my sense of self and would adapt fairly quickly, I think.
I dont identify myself as anything beyond my own consciousness, so I'm functionally agender.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
I'm an enby, it's great fun watching people trip over themselves trying to figure out my gender.

That's a way of getting rid of the confusion against common sense, and maybe further enjoying yourself being yourself.

There are various people in the world and they either consider me as a male or a female. Others never get a clue 'which gender' I am. It's fun and really helps against my depressions from confusion.

Why do you feel the need to nail it down? You could just revel in being ambiguous.
There are ZERO genders, genders is a HUMAN construct.

Animals don't give a fox, they just fox what they want.
I always said, "You have to put up with others just a few hours a day, but you have to live with yourself 24/7 with no escape, so be whoever or whatever you're most comfortable being or you'll never be happy."


Can't agree more. While many people around the world might not agree, I strongly believe that everything humans had set up is just one of the perspective. Unless human was the only living being in the entire universe,(and how much do humans know about the universe? We don't even know well about the feral human tribes!) I think you don't necessarily need to squish yourself into the norms if it's not easy.

For me, the uniqueness is the priority over integrity. Yea right, the integrity is important to human society and that's one of the majority that kept our race running till now. But humans are strange: When you try to fit in, suppressing your speciality, they blame you for having no speciality and decide to kick you outta the crowd cuz you are 'useless' to them. At the same time, when you try to stand out, they try to chop you down to fit their average state. I'm so sick of this inconsistency.

When you actually manage to 'fit in' by suppressing your uniqueness somehow, you end up falling behind one day by the weeding out process. And the things left beside you are the isolation, sense of deprivation and the fact that you didn't even defend your ego. Sorry but I refuse and would rather go find my ego and live on with the least depression.

Everything is a lot easier and simple when you decide to be yourself. Now you can invest more researching yourself and care less about people's acceptance.

No matter you fit in or rebel against the norm, there are always someone against you and someone besides you. The owner of your life can only be you and no one else in the universe can take responsibility of it. So it means even if anything goes bad after you defy yourself, no one can solve your issue 100%, also they don't have to. My experience taught me a lesson that making yourself unhappy in order to keep others from getting unhappy is the most foolish thing I can ever do in my life. Especially when it's against your true self.

If you be true to yourself, you know that those who love you are loving the true you and have no risk of getting abandoned as long as you are true. And you will know exactly how to get over a mess when anything bad happened, bacause you were the only one staying alongside you all the time from past to present, and will ever be in the future. So you get to know the answer better and there's no worries.


P.s. Oh but sometimes you have to act not being yourself if you're in some sort of inevitable circumstances that you have to keep going. For example, a company that isn't open to 'out of norm' style people. However, you don't have to fake yourself 24/7.

And against those opinions with potential to hurt you, simply regard them nothing more than opinions. Unless you regard them important, don't let them encroach your soul and heart. Actually, those opinions help you understand how they think, and that's just it. Don't think about that too much if it hurts you. Opinions are there to help you understand others and respect them, and not the weapons against you.

To those whose souls are worn out:
Never get discouraged being yourself. Be proud! Just don't kill anyone. :p
Nobody in the world can replace you 100%, absolutely nobody.
 
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quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
Why do y'all feel choosing non-binary is correct? One of the issues with folks understanding this is most people never question their gender in any meaningful way. I know I haven't. So I'm curious to hear the reasoning (as much as you'd like to share on a public forum).
There’s a lot of stuff we (as in humanity) feel is right without really choosing to. Just a note, pointing out that “choice” is a... not the best word to involve in discussions of identity.
Not saying you chose your wording maliciously or anything, just something to keep in mind so you can avoid unnecessarily ruffling feathers in other conversations in the future. :)

I personally stayed with the default for about thirty years. Roughly half of that time, I’d joke that my gender identity was actually “tomboy” - not that I fit the traditional “physically active down and dirty” image of a tomboy, either. Negative generalizations about men have grated on me as though they to some degree included me as well since my mid teens or so. People insisting that I should share certain ideological standpoints or sensibilities for having tits irritated me in similar (though, I guess, inverse?) ways. It’s... sort of like buying a suit off the rack - it’s my size and I can fit myself into it, but that doesn’t mean it fits.

I don’t think there was any singular event that cemented my identity as genderqueer; it was one of those things that eventually just... fell into place. I still think of my body as female, but the essence of what’s me, well... it just doesn’t fit in that mold. Some of that is a mismatch of my sense of self with societal expectations, but some of it is... friction between my sense of self and the idea of me-as-female. It’s good enough for a nominal label, and I’m fine with being a girlfriend/wife to my boyfriend and husband, and with using she/her pronouns, but it’s still like that off-the-rack suit. If I have a suit that fits well, why should I settle for the one that doesn’t really?
 

GlitterKoi

The Bubbly One
Hi there, I'm a nonbinary genderfluid person. Most of the time I don't experience a gender at all, ie, agender, but I do have fluctuations between female, male, and a blend of the two. I actually really feel that being genderfluid brought me to the furry fandom, because I've always related better to animals than people. Many animals aren't visibly gendered, at least to human eyes, so I always felt more comfortable with both real life animals and animal characters. I also think this ties into my neurodivergence, as many neurodivergent folks feel more comfortable around animals and intuitively understand them better than neurotypical folks do. I can try to separate out these different parts of myself to explain to someone else why I am the way I am, but in terms of a lived experience, it all starts to roll together.

As far as how I arrived at genderfluid as a word for myself, that took a lot of educating myself, figuring things out, and gathering the courage to state who I am. But as far as the identity itself, I have lived that from as long back as I can remember. Even as a very young child, I didn't like being split up for activities by gender, and I had friends among the boys and the girls. For a long time, I had a lot of friction with the idea that I had to be feminine, and "girl" and "woman" always felt like expectations others had for me that I was failing to meet. This all caused a lot of pain that I don't care to share in a forum post. Suffice it to say that for me, realizing I was genderfluid didn't mean I needed to transition into another role or modify my body, but rather I was just accepting myself as I had always been: able to live life through a blend of perspectives as my very naturally changeable self. The only change I would desire is if I could have the magical power to shapeshift to express my inner being in an outward way. Aside from that, I'm very happy to know that who I really am is a real thing that is ok to be.

So hello to all you nonbinary furs out there! I'm excited to meet you!
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
Many animals aren't visibly gendered, at least to human eyes, so I always felt more comfortable with both real life animals and animal characters. I also think this ties into my neurodivergence, as many neurodivergent folks feel more comfortable around animals and intuitively understand them better than neurotypical folks do.

I agree!

And cats are one of them, even when you stare at their back, you can't know it's sex. (Though there's a way to distinguish without a touch) That's one of the reason I love cats too :3

Nice to meet you too, my friend! OwO
 

ben909

vaporeon character != mushroom characters
Don't get depressed. It's great that you can be who you are. I hope some other NB furs join in.

opener-1563996884.png
The dumpster fire, commonly thought as a bad thing, but in some ways its taking useless things no one wants any more and setting them on fire to warm up your day....

Sorry it does not really fit this context
 
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